- Gender and Relationships
Sexual Encounters: Is Cheating Ever Justified?
Responses to this age old question should be interesting. The recent Wiener revelations about cheating on his pregnant wife indicates bad morality. Private or not, it is public and those in high offices ought to have higher standards. How could cheating on your wife who is pregnant with your child ever be "okay"? That, to me, is far worse than "regular cheating" (I.e., someone who is not pregnant) because usually children cement many fragile relationships. They are the glue that holds so-so partners together for time. If the guy cannot even be faithful while she is pregnant, when would he?
As to regular cheating, it is never healthy for either party for different reasons. The cheater is faced with a sea of lies to live in and with each wave repercussions occur until at some point the wave is a tsunami. The one that "breaks the camel's back" and exposes the lie that leads to a series of lies. It devastates the innocent and causes collateral damage. It devastates the cheater when they are caught but it lasts much shorter period of time because they seek refuge in their new love. The innocent simply wallow in deep hurt and self blame. And time does not heal the pain in the victims. It will take years for that pain to fade into an aloofness of WTF, but, its scar is forever in your psyche and may impact the next relationship.
Some will say that cheating as a "pay back" is justified. Why, then, stay in the relationship? with that attitude, each party simply assaults the other with the cheating weapon until both warriors are decimated with hurt and anger.
When is it proper to allow forgiveness to cloak the cheater? The trust has been shattered, it will never be the same because of even one cheating episode. What are the real reasons the victim forgives? Is it out of true love? Need? Economic situation? Maybe all three?