Sexual attraction makes us grow
Sexuality is a way of learning about the art of living
Whenever we have a close social relationship, whether friendship or love, we via it learn to see the world with the eyes of the other one.
Since the way of doing determines largely the outcome of what one does, feeling sexual attraction toward those who have superior skills in the things that one oneself most dearly wants to learn about the art of living, can teach one the base of those skills and talents in the complex ways of doing that the other one uses.
This is often more a question of friendly relations than any need of a sexual encounter. Still, it can teach us a lot and just via erotical attraction, which brings closer to us admirable persons that we maybe otherwise could not get to know.
Follow your own likings
Each of us is different. Different things make us feel well. In short: we each one need different things. Consequently we also sexually admire different kinds of women and men.
Follow your own likings. Only that way you can grow as a human being and learn the things that just you most dearly need and love.
And give your partner also the possibility to follow his/her likings, so that you can grow a human relationship that is enjoyable and satisfying to both of you. Just shared happiness is most according to the human nature, but do not let the intention of sharing be a restricting factor in life. Just freedom to do what one loves and the old good rule "Live and let others live!" make the relationship harmonical and happy.
The way to learn from the other one
When we are social with another person, we instinctually copy lot of her/his way of moving and doing things, tend to do likewise and see things from roughly the same point of view. This is good because it lets us understand each other, to fit well together even if we are different and to learn from each other's strengths.
So as you are sexual, you should also be social in friendly caring ways.
In addition you should pay close attention to the social influence that you thus get. You should intellectually notice what new insights the other one offers you, how you find yourself having skills that you did not usually posses. Now is your chance to gain the skills of both without needing to take any big drawbacks along!
So: Pay attention to the ways that you have thus copied: Which things are you concentrated into:
- body coordination
- the different sides of social life
See also how these different areas of life are combined to a way of doing that produces your loved one's talents. By copying the division of attention and the ways of doing you too can learn it!
Remember to pay lots of attention to the use of the sense of sight in thinking especially. And remember to copy also those things of which you do not know why they are used, like the sense of beauty for example - from your love you can learn that too!
Here you are!
You can read my free book "Hard Rationality of Feelings and Instincts" here. It is a large PDf file and takes some time to load.
The section about sexuality is at the end of the book. It presupposes that you have read the beginning of the book so that you understand the rationality of feelings and have an idea of what use there is of seemingly needless nice things like singing, wandering in the nature and practising sports...