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She is leaving you

Updated on June 26, 2015

Question For Men

Have you ever been blindsided by a girlfriend that dumped you? Did you ever see it coming? When you review the playbook, is it clear to you now that she was leaving you? Did you recognize she was preparing to leave you?

Have you ever been dumped and never saw it coming?

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I'm Out of Here!

10 Signs She's Leaving You

Your Partner may exhibit the following signs, in no particular order:

1. Unplugging. What does that mean? They are present at dinner or events with you but they are not engaged in the activity or interacting with you unless absolutely necessary. In essence you are consistently sitting with the shell of the woman you once knew.

2. Engaging in activities without you. All of a sudden over time you notice the woman that wanted to hang out with you would rather go hang out with her girlfriends, attend events by herself, and excludes you from her plans.

3. Declining invitations to do things with you that she previously loved. You know she loves arts and crafts, subscribes to receive emails, and loves everything craft. You tell her you want to take her to a national convention and she's not interested in going. Strange right?

4. Engaging in activities that take her away from you. Suddenly she wants to take a night class, spends more time with family than usual, or dedicates more time to her career. Yes, she just would rather not be around you.

5. Bathtub disengage. Literally if you catch her in a romantic bubble bath (candles going, soft music playing) so you decide to join her, within a few seconds of you being in the tub she decides to suddenly get out. Bad news.

6. Not engaged in sex. Extreme avoidance and disinterest with being intimate with you in any way. If you do engage in sex, it's mechanical. Like a song once said, when you kissed me you kissed me with your eyes wide open, why were they open? Your eyes can be open when you don't care about that person.

7. Stop Arguing. Suddenly the woman of many complaints, previously constantly engaged in requesting certain actions and behaviors from you, suddenly goes silent. Red flag. Problem. She's plotting her split from the relationship and how she is going to get rid of you. If you make the changes or exhibit the behaviors she previously wanted and she acts as if she could care less.

8. Changes in wardrobe. You suddenly the notice the woman that was stressed out, unhappy with you, who barely left the house with jewelry now looks amazing when she leaves the house. Dresses, jewelry, makeup, new heels -she looks amazing. That is not for you that is for her to began the process to put her best foot forward for herself (to recover from ending your relationship) and to present her best self to others.

9. Spending time with her single and/or wilder friends more often. She's preparing for transition into the single life once again.

10. Communication declines. Text messages and phone calls are returned infrequently. She doesn't share anything with you anymore. Suddenly your lady no longer wants to tell you anything about her life or share anything about what's going on in their life. She is not interested in what's going on in your life either.


Saving Love

Can You Get Her Back

Can you get her back? Good question? It depends if she still cares or loves you. You are going to have to make supreme effort and I'm not talking about taking her to dinner and a concert. You are going to have to recall when you first met and the efforts you placed in the relationship. I can not guarantee this is going to work but you know the man you are/were and what attracted her to you in the first place. Yes, flowers at work and dates with little just because gifts. Give her attention without smothering her. Perhaps while she is in the shower, sneak out and place a gift in the car for her just because you want her to have an awesome day. Try a couples message to test her ability to want to be around you for a period of time doing couple things. Be more accommodating and caring. Ask her out once a week to dinner at a swank, nice restaurant, featuring her favorite food – let her know you are listening and value what adds to her happiness.

Keep engaging in these activities which should include picnics in the park so you can engage in conversation and discuss your concerns that she is not happy in the relationship. Listen to her concerns without defending yourself. If appropriate, ask her if she feels that she would be happier without you? (Listen for the response.) If there is a chance for the relationship, based on her feedback and actions. (i.e. She should be less cold to you and should be initiating spending time with you if she is interested in trying to preserve the relationship.) If you are on the road to recovery for months then you might want to take her on a vacation, a place she would enjoy, to cement this new relationship. Do not go on vacation until you two are interacting in a different way because there is nothing worse than vacations with someone that is angry with you or with someone not engaged with you?


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      The reality is only someone who is self absorbed would miss the signs their mate is checking out of the relationship. I suppose in other instances there are those people who believe it's only "normal" after a couple has been together to gradually put less effort into romance. They see it as "relaxed".

      I can't tell you how often I go to restaurants and see couples looking at their smart phones, reading newspapers, or books while waiting for their meal to arrive at their table. You compare that with a couple who just started dating. You see them laughing, talking, looking into each other's eyes, touching, and maybe even spoon feeding one another something from their plate.

      A few years later when their mate is curious about how their food tastes they simply scoot their plate towards them or the person reaches over with their own fork.

      I think the reason why many people don't see the end coming is because they believe what is going on is "normal" and to be "expected" over time.

      Some folks also foolishly believe if there are no arguments everyone is content. However when the talking stops the planning usually begins.

      "Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart."

      - C.S. Lewis