- Gender and Relationships
She’s Such a Bitch!
So Why Does He Love Her?
His friends and family don’t understand what he sees in her. They’re taking bets on when he’ll come to his senses and ditch her when he surprises everyone with a wedding announcement. Despite snide jokes about her platinum, um…body parts, bitchy women have a few things to teach the young women who envy them and the men who love them.
The first lesson is that there’s a fine line between being bitchy and being a bitch. A bitch looks out for her own interests without consideration for anyone else. A bitchy woman understands that being assertive is a valuable skill that she uses to maintain her position without crushing her lover's.
Indeed, she’s not afraid to take a strong stand when she feels she must, but she finds sanctuary in the arms of her boyfriend and knows better than to violate his trust or harm his self-esteem. If she does, she goes out of her way to make things right. Because she understands him well, she knows exactly what will make him feel like he’s the most important man in the world. When she’s unhappy, she lets her boyfriend or husband be the fixer he knows he was meant to be, and she loves him more for it.
Contrast that with the way a bitch behaves. A bitch criticizes and blames others when she’s unhappy. She doesn’t allow her boyfriend to fix the problem and save the day. Instead, she declares that she doesn’t need him. When her partner does what she appears to want, she assumes it was the least he could do and shows little or no appreciation for his concession. Though there are some male emotional masochists who might stick with her, the average guy will quickly figure out that she is never satisfied, and he’ll be laying the groundwork to leave her long before he’d consider popping the question.
A bitchy woman, on the other hand, will keep a good guy hooked. He loves knowing exactly where she stands, and the bitchy woman doesn’t leave him guessing the way most “nice” girls do. She doesn’t try to control him, but she expects him to be in control of his actions and doesn’t accept excuses. (Nice girls everywhere can benefit from enhancing their assertiveness skills.)
She doesn’t give up her own interests to cling to his side, but instead takes time to maintain her social contacts, hobbies, and family ties. She upholds her own values and priorities instead of changing herself. She likes being effective, and because of it, she achieves her goals.
Teens and young adults may not have learned the difference between a bitchy woman and a bitch, but there’s another reason men stay with bitches.
When it comes to relationships, youth dynamics favor women. Young men face rejection more often, while young woman are pursued relentlessly. This teaches the gents that they’re not as worthy as some of the women they admire from afar, while women learn to overrate themselves.
By the time they reach midlife, when men’s careers have boosted their economic worth, and women’s beauty is slipping from those ideals pushed by mass media, the bitch factor evens out. If they don’t change, bitches become lonely, jaded, single women who feel life has mistreated them. Men have learned to appreciate women who are assertive without stepping across the line into selfishness, or they become miserable and bitter themselves. Both sexes find it hard to maintain enduring relationships if they don’t change.
In essence, bitchiness boils down to a fine line that separates assertiveness from aggressive behavior. Recommended for men who enjoy feisty women and the women who are (or wish they were) will appear below following review by HubPages: