Dating Down (A Complete Guide)

I had no idea what this term meant until I caught up with my girlfriends at a bar and we talked about this particular common friend who was dating someone one wouldn't quite expect. It was this friend in the bar I was hanging out with who used this term and it totally made sense. When you are dating someone who is not quite up to the same standard as you, it means you are dating down. This is not merely limited to how both of you look together, but also other things like career, intellectual compatibility, and expectations from a relationship.

It's possible that you have high brow tastes and like to go to museums over the weekend, but your significant other likes to sit back on the couch and play video games. He doesn't have to be an expert on the Expressionists, but if he is unable to hold a decent conversation about things that are close to your heart, you know you have dated down! Same goes for your tastes in other things, if he is not willing to step up his game and you have to lower your standards more often than you'd like, it maybe time to rethink what you're into! It's only when you step out of the relationship that you realize what you were missing.

It's true that we often don't factor this in, but it could really make a difference in your relationship if you are a high flying executive and your date doesn't have any ambition beyond waiting tables. It's likely that it will create problems not from your side but his. If there is a role reversal that you don't really want: woman earning more than her man and other concerns, then you may have a problem going forward. Both the parties need to be comfortable with the role that they have in the relationship and often, if you are more successful than him, it may lead to jealousy. So, beware! If you have your life sorted out and he doesn't really know what to do with his, then you maybe dating down.

Have you made excuses when your friends or family ask you to bring along that guy you're recently seeing? Do you often find yourself going to couple gatherings alone? If you find it embarrassing to take him to see your friends because he will not be able to contribute to the conversation in anyway or if his friends won't be impressed by him, then it's time to rethink your relationship. This also means that there are certain things you can enjoy as a couple and what's the point of that?