- Gender and Relationships
Should Men Tell Their Wives What to Wear
What Does Your Clothes Say of You
Every man is different, and so are his preferences. While some men prefer women in modest clothes because they reveal a confident women who know how to let her body speak for them, other more testosterone-driven men prefer women towering in mini skirts and dresses with provocative cleavages.
If you should ask some men what they would like to see on a woman, they may likely answer, “Nothing,” on a humorous note. But on a serious note, men always admire clothing that accentuates the female shape, lines which complement the contours of a woman’s frame, revealing to the eyes a truly feminine form. Men are known as a virtual gender. They do not only notice what women are wearing but also draw conclusions about a woman the way she dress. Then what is it that men actually want to see their wives wearing?
“A man likes a woman to look hot if she is his girlfriend, cute if she is his sister, graceful if she is his mother and sultry if she is his wife. Men know best how a woman needs to dress because man fantasies about women all the time,” said an anonymous 45 –year old educationist and retired Army Major (What Men Want Women to Wear by The Express Tribune).
As husbands we grapple with the fact that we are supposed to love our wives as Christ loved the church and to me that means that husbands should not try to control their wives at all but give them the freedom to make their own decisions and come to their own understanding of things including how they dress.
But in modern times clothing revealing too much have been a contentious issue between couples. Should husbands have a say in how their wives dress or should accept however they decide to package themselves? Or should husbands politely ask their wives to change into a different outfit if they feel the dress they are wearing is not suitable?
“I have been married for about almost three years, and my wife and I sometimes disagree on what is sexy and what is crossing the border on what is too provocative or revealing,” a man confessed. “The clothes that I like to see my wife wearing, should represent power, authority, and elegance, yet still maintain an air of femininity and seduction.”
Francis said, “If my wife put on too revealing dress, I wouldn’t insist she change on any given day, but maybe just gently tell her that she look great but the outfit is best for later that night when we’re alone in the bedroom together. I will leave her to decide what to do.”
Bill Hybels encouraged couples to have open, honest, and authentic relationships. He explained that the call for truth and authenticity must have greater value than simply maintaining peace in the relationship. This call challenges couples to address and resolve misunderstandings, share feelings, talk through offenses, and deal with doubts about each other’s integrity. When misunderstandings are not resolved, relationships deteriorate. Feelings of love begin to die. So if your wife is dressed in a way you don’t like, you should tell her. This does not mean that husbands should decide what their wives should wear on any given day or outing.
Showing a bit of cleavage and thigh would be considered sexy. Or breasts busting out of a blouse or a dress so short might not be appreciated by a husband. I think that a husband needs to ascertain why his wife is wearing those clothes. Maybe she doesn’t know how they may look to others and if she did she wouldn’t want to wear them.
Maybe you need to ask yourself why you don’t like that she is wearing revealing clothing. Is it because you do not want to feel threatened of other men look at her? That may be an issue within you, not one that concerns her. Is it because you feel that your religious or moral beliefs preclude the wearing of revealing clothes?
Why do some men let their wives dress like promiscuous sluts when they are supposed to be married? By dressing like sluts in miniskirts and open belly tops, they only attract other men’s attention, making their husband’s insecure. A man’s cheating is regarded as something awful, so why become a source of temptation?
“I had a husband who liked me to dress sexy –like he was proud of me. Dressing doesn’t mean you’re a slut. Wearing neutral colors and being covered up isn’t going to stop women from cheating if they want to,” a woman said.
It might sound like a good reasoning but note she said, “I had a husband who liked me to dress sexy.” He never had plans to live with her for life. Read this again, “A man likes a woman to look hot if she is his girlfriend, cute if she is his sister, graceful if she is his mother and sultry if she is his wife. Men know best how a woman needs to dress because man fantasies about women all the time,” said an anonymous 45 –year old educationist and retired Army Major (What Men Want Women to Wear by The Express Tribune).
“Clothes say a lot about a woman’s exposure, lifestyle and confidence. The way she wears her hair and make-up says a lot about her sense of style and sophistication. Her choice of fragrance and pair of heels say a lot about her personality and taste,” said Usman Dittu, women designer.
Now, in a loving relationship, both partners should respect one another not to go to places like parties or bars alone showing off their goods. They also should respect one another not to dress to attract other people in miniskirts or some male equivalent.
Wives should do some careful digging and see what you come up with. I’d expect your best friend to tell you if something is too revealing, and I hope your husbands are your best friends. What does he likes you to wear? This is not an easy question to answer as it really depends on your husband’s personal preferences. You can talk to him about this or ask him to buy you some clothes. If you don’t like his taste, let him know and arrive at what is acceptable to both of you by effective communication.
I am guessing that you married your wife because you love and respect her both because of the person she is and the things that she does. If you feel that her wearing this type of clothing is offensive to you, then as her husband you have every right to tell her that it bothers you. However, she is the one to make the final decision. Consider the fact that as human beings we have a strong tendency to do the opposite of what we are told to do. Likewise, our spouses may end up doing the opposite of what we suggest when through negative communication.
If you find yourself becoming angry, unkind, resentful, and moody in the face of her shortcomings these responses will impede your relationship. When it comes to seeing changes in a spouse many husbands don’t want to wait. Husbands want their wives to fit their ideas of perfection now. Are you one of those husbands? You have to take it ease. Be patient.
I encourage you to reevaluate your expectations for your marriage. It’s common for women and men to enter marriage with unrealistic or, at best, clouded expectations that come from childhood dreams, popular novels, movies, and television programs. People want and demand perfection. We need to learn to live with imperfections. No one is perfect.
Remember this Biblical injunction, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2: 3-4).
At the end of the day, a woman is going to look her best in something she feel good in, which is the most important point of all.