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Should you interfere in a friend's unhealthy relationship?

Updated on April 10, 2009


Would you want anyone else to interfere in your relationship should be the first question. This question cannot and should not be followed up with, if I was in an unhealthy relationship, because your friends might think that you are, but you might think that you are not.

Therefore, again I state that you must first ask yourself, "Would I want anyone else to interfere in my relationship?" If the answer is no, then by your very own standards the answer to the question of whether or not you should interfere in any one of your friend's relationships, unhealthy or not according to your viewpoint, is a plain and simple no.

Did they request your interference? Then it is a different matter altogether. If they are in some form of danger and are requesting that you assist them, then most definitely consider stepping up and helping your friend in whatever way they tell you that they need that help.

Relationships are an interesting thing because they can be the absolute most personal thing in anyone's life. They cause people to make huge moves or stay put. They cause people to pick up or lose new and old friends. They cause people to kill themselves and others. They are at the center of many people's universes. They are a large part of the growth process for a huge percentage of the population.

If an individual is at a point in their lives where they may need to learn a few lessons, endure a few down times, in order to learn to be stronger and make better relationship choices and ultimately, choices about them self in the future, then it is sometimes absolutely necessary for them to live through this unhealthy relationship experience.

As caring friends, we may want to end their pain. We may wish they would just get out now because we see that it is a problem. We may want to try to jump in and tell them how they should or should not live their lives. We may become exceedingly frustrated with the struggles that we see them going through for reasons that we feel are needless/unnecessary/pointless . If they would only listen to me.....we may find ourselves saying.

Whether you realize it or not, you already have a lot on your plate in attempting to live the best life that you can lead and if you are in a relationship, in maintaining that relationship and preventing it from becoming an unhealthy relationship. Your focus on your friend's relationship, may in fact be an indication that you are attempting to draw your attentions to someone else's situation in order to avoid facing the facts of your very own unhealthy relationship.

Whatever the case may be though, each person must travel their own path. Each individual but live through their own journey. We can offer assistance to others who may be in need, but interference in never our place. Your friend must make his or her own decision and live with the consequences.


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