- Gender and Relationships
Show Up Factor
The Show Up Factor
There is a new trend sweeping the nation primary in places where the men outnumber the women. This phenomenon is known as the “show up” factor.
Basically this means that a man simply needs to express some empty complements, tell you all about his life/goals/accomplishments, and tell you how great you are within a twenty minute time frame. Based on these words of flattery, you then follow up (as a lady) by allowing him to kick his feet up and make no effort to be in your life. This occurs when the offer is made on the first or second date for him to come by “your place” and offer for you to cook for him. Let me not leave out the standard long conversations over the phone so he can appear so interested and connected to you. This is an attempt to date without funding or creativity.
In this day and age, where roles seem to be reversing amongst some age groups, we have the emergence of the man who feels that if he has a somewhat decent career/job, has his own place, and looks remotely attractive: he should just “show up.” Every women should be comfortable proving her domestic skills while opening her home to whatever person she met with the gift of gab is their thought process. Some actions require conversation, however this requires only one reaction by a woman: delete.
This is so crazy in my opinion because:
1. People usually put their best foot forward when meeting someone and this is the laziest approach in the world. This approach also has a laced hit of creating a cozy atmosphere for intimate activity to occur WAY prematurely.
2. As a lady, when dating, you should be cautious when allowing people to know where you live and work. You don’t know who this person is of if they are telling you the truth about their single status/situation. For all you know this could be the next serial killer.
3. Men treat you according to how they value you. When they do not value you, despite the words that they utter, it shows in their lazy and self-centered presentation. It’s not that they don’t know how to treat a woman; it’s just that they don’t value you.
Why do some men do this?
Men are trained to do what works. If you have a bunch of desperate women willing to believe everything they hear, sleep with men right away in an attempt to try to “lock them down” into a relationship, and women willing to be the man (providers) to anyone willing to pay for love THEN why act differently?
Steve Harvey always says: Men like standards so get some. If someone meets you and wants your time and attention then he must make an effort to earn you. If there are 15 men to 1 woman; he still must put time and effort into respectfully approaching you and treating you the way you deserve to be treated; like a treasure. There may be 500 women in the room but you should feel like Cleopatra amongst them and be assured that there is only 1 valuable woman in the room, and that woman is you.
Dismiss the wrong approach from a man because he’s the wrong man. Never settle for when you settle you always get LESS than what you settled for.