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What Is Love?

Updated on September 26, 2018
Jaeda Storm profile image

Jaeda has been with her man for over 3 1/2 yrs. They have a corgi and a black cat! Their relationship isn't perfect, but it's full of love!

Love is fun. When you first start dating life is great. There are dates every weekend, gifts every other day, and so much love that it's almost gross. Girls are jealous that they don't have a love like yours. Boys pat their friend on the back and welcome you with open arms. Your relationship is new and hot. You guys are constantly being told you're adorable together, and everyone is commenting #goals on your new Instagram post. Maybe this relationship thing isn't so bad after all? If you truly enjoy your time with this new guy that's all that matters! Be with someone who makes you forget about your phone and social media. Be with someone who makes you feel like the rest of the world could crumble, but you would survive it as long as you're together.

Love is beautiful. You're four months in. The relationship isn't new anymore. A few people still make comments on your compatibility, but the majority have moved onto a newer, hotter couple. Sure, there is less attention on your relationship, but you're still in the honeymoon phase. There is hardly any arguing, and if there is it usually ends in a tickle fight. You look at your man with love and appreciation. You talk on the phone every night. Sometimes even if you saw each other that day! You feel like you can't get enough of your partner. You crave just being with them! Being in love is an incredible feeling.

Love is putting someone else's needs before your own. Nine months. You are now extremely comfortable with each other. You've probably experienced your most awkward moment, your best moment, and your worst moment. And, let's be real you no longer have a fear of eating, sleeping, or even farting in front of them. They have become the person in your life that you trust the most. You have most likely had your first real fight. It wasn't just over what actor was in that movie you just finished, but this time it was the real stuff. You know exactly what sets your man off. You've had that dreaded conversation of "What is your goal of this relationship?". The ones who just wanted to mess around probably don't make it past nine months. Both you and your boyfriend have probably had thoughts of "is this what I want? Is he/she what I want?". Those thoughts and arguments are scary, but it takes those doubts to show you how great, or not so great, you have it! Small arguments can be aggravating, but getting through them together can be rewarding.

Love is a freaking roller coaster. You've been together for just over a year. Congratulations! Not a lot of "flings" make it to a year. You just got through what some would call "the honeymoon phase" of a relationship. Not everything is all cupcakes and rainbows anymore. This a real relationship that you need to work for if you want it to last. You cannot just sit back and enjoy the show. You've been through hell and back together. This person has become your ride or die. You still get butterflies when you think of your first kiss, but sometimes they just have that effect on you anymore. Maybe you've contemplated breaking up, or maybe you haven't. You think that you shouldn't be together, but then they prove to you over and over that, that is exactly where you belong. Your emotions swing violently, and your man may not understand why. You don't even always understand why. But he promises that he will love you through all of it.

How Do You Know You're With the Right Person?

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Me and My Man

Love is everything. Finally, we are in that 3+ year stage which is where I, the author, am at in my relationship. We have been together for three years and seven months, today actually. It definitely hasn't been easy, but I love my man with all my heart. We started dating when I was a sophomore and he was a junior in high school. He actually asked me to prom before we started dating, but that, obviously, lead to something bigger. Being with him has taught me so many new things. I have met so many new people that are huge in my life through him. I go to college two hours away from him, so that can be challenging at times, but we get through it! He is also a farmer with crazy work hours. That on its own has its challenges! We love each other so much that these things never even occurred to us as a challenge. Just something in our lives that we adjusted to. Sure, our relationship has changed over the years, but it is still amazing. I love him, and I always will!

Prom Junior Year!!

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      7 weeks ago

      "When you first start dating life is great." - Very true!

      Inexperienced dates have been prone to overly emotionally invest in someone during the "infatuation phase" of a new relationship.

      The word "no" is seldom if ever used. Both people make each other's happiness their top priority and they're trying to impress one another. No one wants to "blow it" with their new crush!

      However you really don't get to know someone's "authentic self" until after several months have passed. It's at this point where most people start to (relax) and feel (safe) enough to reveal themselves without the (fear) their mate will walk away.

      Suddenly you're having arguments, misunderstandings as both people make their boundaries and "deal breakers" known.

      It's almost a cliché to hear someone say:

      "He/she is not the same person I fell in love with."

      As important as compatibility is in relationships it's actually our differences which will determine how suitable we are with someone.

      Years together mean very little the older one becomes especially if you're counting (teenage years). As an adult I've been in relationships which have lasted 5 years, 7 years, and beyond.

      You're really never "out of the woods". There is no neutral!

      Married couples who've been together for 20+ years get divorced!

      Over time you're either "growing together' or " growing apart" .

      There are three basic reasons why couples split up.

      1. They chose the wrong mate. (They're too incompatible.)

      2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of another.

      3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things.

      Truth be told when it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very few people hit a homerun their first, second, third, or fourth time up at bat. If this were not the case we would all be married to our high school sweethearts!

      Whatever traits one believes makes for an "ideal mate" at ages 17, 18, or 21 are likely to change by age 30 and beyond.

      People evolve and change over time. That's life!

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