- Gender and Relationships
Shy Guys: Overdoing is Social Sabotage
Attention Single Guys:
Read this hub carefully for therein is help for you if you are of a shy nature.
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Welcome to my simplicity
As the old adage goes, "less is more," thus the length of this hub. I mean, why should I labor and strive to do hours of research and write into the wee hours of the morning to provide my wonderful followers a piece that is so long that they are worn-out mentally and physically when they finish reading my work? It really doesn't make sense.
So I am going to keep this "short and sweet," for your benefit and mine. Maybe one awkward, teen guy can get one nugget of wisdom from this story that will enable him to be a decent success in meeting pretty girls (of his age) and be accepted into society's flow in school and later, when he graduates into the world of real life.
A lesson about shyness and introversion
A very sad and easy mistake we all make is if a teenage guy is not "running with a crew," we label him an "introvert." Other synonyms are: reserved, reticent, diffident, retiring, retiring, and quiet. But when we seize the truth, we find that this teen guy is only awkward and shy. Neither is a crime. Nor is being introverted. So those of us who let our misguided judgement fuel our scorning of teens like this, let's just step back, examine the obvious situation and learn to work with the shy teenager. What is so tough about that?
I confess. Working with a shy teen guy is easier said than done. I do need a lot of God's help as well as your help in this critical area of my life.
But until I reach a shining breakthrough concerning how to work with shy teenage guys, I have composed a short list of tips on how shy guys can do a few things on their own thus giving them a good dose of self-confidence and helping to build up their self esteem.
Were you ever a shy guy?
My hub has a title:
Shy Guys: Overdoing is Social Sabotage
Things For Shy Teen Guys Not to Do:
- Over-react in an angry tone or action when a pretty girl does not consent to dating you.
- Trying to hide behind "walls" you build yourself in order to hide from real life. "Walls" such as: Over compensating with loud make-up or clothing; pretending that you do not need people in your life; joining a boy band when you are not carrying a lot of musical talent.
- Telling lies about your family, their income, your home, and make them sound lavish and rich when you, shy teenage guy, come from a moderate income family who live in a modest home that is clean, dry and warm. Remember, "lies and sand castles are all soon washed away and there you are left to be seen as you really are."
- Start ugly rumors about some pretty girl who did smile at you, but did not want to talk to you in the hallway at school or on the phone.
- Acting cold and heartless toward a potential male or female friend who did not know how to understand your vibes. They were confused as to "what" you were and "who" you are. Be yourself is a corny saying, but it is solid advice for you to take.
- If a pretty girl does talk to you at school or on the phone, please do not shower her with all sorts of expensive gifts. What you are really doing is scaring her away from you. Remember. You have only talked to her once. Why not wait for you and her to become good friends and maybe in a year's time, you can buy her a modest, inexpensive gift or card to commemorate your first anniversary as friends.
- This tip goes right along with the tip above. When you and this pretty girl are becoming close friends, do not mail her or give her entire notebooks full of romantic poems and love songs that you have written just for her. You can do this way later if this friendship turns into a boy/girl relationship. If you do this too soon, she will be laughing at you with her girlfriends. Maybe not in a harsh way, but I have never known of a guy getting to date a pretty girl by doing immature things like writing books of his thoughts and giving them to the pretty girl. She only feels that you are smothering her.
Things For Shy Teen Guys To Do:
- Be there for the girl you want to be friends with. Do not make a hasty assessment if the pretty girl only says a few words. Just smile, say "we can chat later," and move on about your business.
- If you must be "in vogue," say to a potential male or female friend, "sup?" "sweet," or any acceptable phrases that young people use in 2016, but do not overdo any of them. You have to always be on guard for "boredom," your sworn enemy who can destroy any friendship.
- Be casually cool with the pretty girl who said a few words to you. Never run up to her first (e.g. my hub: ("A Test to See if You Are a Bulger") and let your mouth shoot information at her like a machine gun. Ask her things she has accomplished that day or what does she think about you and her being friends. This is a mature approach. Use it.
- If this pretty girl opens up and shares what she and a guy named "Dave" did on a date a week ago, do not act jealous or angry. Girls do not mind a little jealousy "if" you are in a relationship with her, but as a friend, being jealous or angry is childish. A secret: Girls love mature guys.
- Shy teen guy, while you are talking to this pretty girl and building a friendship with her, talk to other people--male and female alike. Do not let the pretty girl you talked to first think you are singling her out like you are stalking her.
- Keep your friendship fresh with this pretty girl. Do not "get into a rut" talking about the same things over and over. Remember your sworn enemy, "boredom," is always watching and waiting for just the right moment to strike.
Shy teenage guy, also keep in mind that the best relationships start as friends. This is from an expert source. I have guy friends who say, "I am happy with my wife for I married my best friend." Did you get that? Be patient. Enjoy the moments with her that you have as friends. And if in the future, you and her see that you are not meant to have a deeper relationship, a guy cannot have enough female friends in his life.
This is written from personal experience.
And a peaceful good night to Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
As a shy guy myself, this was my anthem
© 2016 Kenneth Avery