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7 Signs It’s Time to End the Relationship

Updated on June 11, 2018
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People who engage in a relationship out of healthy reasons don’t want to anticipate the demise of the relationship. Thereby, it hurts both or one of the partners if one of them ends the relationship. While it might appear barbaric (insensitive) for a person to bring a relationship to an end, in many instances the reasons are justifiable. This only applies to individuals who had meaty reasons for engaging in a relationship. A man who dumps his partner because she is no longer appealing, we cannot say the man had justifiable reason for ending the relationship. In this instance, his action is purely barbaric. The same case applies to a woman who ends the relationship because her man no longer provides for her financially because he is broke (maybe he lost his job).

When we engage in a relationship, the majority of us, we usually expect it will survive till death separates us. But, sometimes, things go wrong in the relationship. It doesn’t mean relationships are not faced with hurdles. Every relationship has its challenges. Some of these challenges can be dealt with and solved. However, there are some ‘wrongs’ in a relationship the only way they can be corrected is through bringing the relationship to a halt. It’s the only solution.

Maybe, you are in a dilemma: should you wait a little bit longer or end the relationship. If you decide to be patient, how long will you wait till things get right? Sometimes, we are patient in circumstances that don’t warrant us to be patient any longer. One such instance is a woman who is continually abused by her partner. How long will she wait for her man to stop the abuse?

Another consideration is that at times, dumpees think dumpers don’t feel pain when they dump their other significant. This is far from the truth. In most of the breakups, it hurts the dumpers to end the relationship but they’ve to do it. It is not easy to end a relationship because a person has t consider both sides.

Lastly, as much as we would hate to admit it, sometimes we force ourselves to stay in a relationship that doesn’t require us to do so. It’s either we were never meant to be in the relationship with the other person or the only way to deal with some troublesome issues in the relationship is to end it.

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1. He hasn’t Changed

If your partner is not working out in correcting his behaviors/attitudes which are impacting the relationship and you negatively then it’s better to call the shots. There is no point in continuing in the relationship because no good is coming out of it. The breakup acts like a machine awakener which arouses him to the reality his behavior/attitude has led to the demise of the relationship. If he anticipates getting back with you then he should do something about his negative behavior/attitude.

2. Endless-Needless Arguments

Arguments are a normal occurrence in a relationship. They serve a number of purposes. Needless to say this, if the arguments are endless revolving around the same issue which you have never sold we cannot rightly say the arguments are healthy. In fact, they are emotionally and physically tiresome. Some arguments are unnecessary, pointless and useless. If the two of you are arguing over the television remote because one wants to watch sports while the other one wants to watch soap operas, it is evident the argument is quite senseless.

Fights are a normal part of a healthy relationship but when they go out of hand, they are dangerous and uncalled for. In the article, When Fighting Becomes Unhealthy, Daniela ­­__ and Liya Panayotova state, “Fighting is a sign of emotional investment and if done properly, it enriches a couple’s understanding and respect for one another. Fighting can make a couple stronger and united, but only if both sides sees arguing as an opportunity for growing as a team, not an opportunity to hurt one another.” Furthermore, they note, “When it comes to fighting in a couple, there is the right way to do it, resulting in personal and interpersonal growth. There is also the wrong way to fight – resulting in drifting apart and running on the path towards divorce.”

14 Signs It's Time To End Your Relationship

3. Lack of Respect

Respect is an important element in any type of relationship. A relationship lacking respect is not a healthy relationship. It signifies there is no love because love does not thrive in an environment which lacks respect.

The online dictionary defines respect as “due regards for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others.” How you view your partner and how you treat him/her matters a lot in a relationship. Do you think you’re smarter than your partner or better off than him/her?

Palo Alto Medical Foundation (PAMF), state: “Respect is a pattern of behavior that is found in healthy relationships. You have to give respect in order to get it, and is something everyone deserves.” They continue on to say, “People who respect each other trust and support each other and value each other’s independence. They also have the freedom to be themselves, talk honestly and freely, and make decisions and comprises together. They respect boundaries and encourage each other to spend time with friends and family.”

4. He Hurts You

In any facet of our lives, we should be careful how we treat others. Hurt is inevitable. We will at some point hurt other people or be hurt by them. The problem is not hurting others because we cannot avoid committing such an act in its entirety; the problem is when we hurt somebody multiple times especially in one area.

We are aware of people who are inconsiderate of other people’s feelings. If you are in a relationship with a person who is inconsiderate of your feelings or hurts you several times and it doesn’t seem to affect him that he’s done something that is not right; then why would you want to stay in a relationship with that person? In the end, it might cost your life or you will be affected negatively in various aspects of your life especially psychologically.

A person who always hurts another is abusive. If such a person doesn't have respect for you by being considerate then why stay with him? If he doesn't try to correct his errors, don't let it continue for long.

10 Clear Signs That Tell It’s Time To Break Up A Relationship

5. He is the Boss

Relationship is a partnership, not a one-sided relationship. If he is the one who is always calling the shots, what he says is final, doesn’t listen to you and does whatever he wants and feels it’s alright with him without being considerate of you; can’t we rightly say he is better off staying by himself than staying in a relationship with a person who he is treating as a toy?

He cannot be the one who decides on everything as if you are his servant. If you don’t have any say in the relationship, does it mean you are nobody? It’s inane, totally absurd.

6. He is a Cheater

Your partner has cheated on you with another woman many times than you would care to count. Will you continue to stay in the relationship with him when he is inconsiderate of the fact you are a human? Even animals such as cats and dogs want to be treated with respect and love. This man is treating you as if you have no brains and you shouldn’t care if he is seeing another woman. As harsh as these words might appear, it’s the truth: this person is barbaric. Why would you want to be in a relationship with a person who doesn’t give a damn you’re a human being with feelings of your own? Unless, of course, he thinks he’s in a relationship with a thing that doesn’t any form of feelings.

7. Not Heading In The Same Direction

If the relationship is not building you up, you’re not developing in any aspect of your life (personal growth), you don’t seem to agree on almost everything, you don’t know where the relationship is heading to and the relationship doesn’t sound as if it’s a relationship (it’s something else); there is no need of continuing to stay in the relationship. A relationship that doesn’t help you to reach your goals or fulfill your dreams is not a relationship to force yourself to stay in.

In a relationship, the two partners need to bring their minds into one by discussing things, agreeing on things, finding ways of supporting and aiding each other in their personal growths and ambitions and at the same time, ensuring the relationship is healthy and strong.

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    • Ben716 profile imageAUTHOR

      Alianess Benny Njuguna 

      8 months ago from Kenya

      I agree with you. I will have to admit as you have stated, only a few relationships last for long.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      8 months ago

      "There are a variety of relationships" - Very true!

      In the U.S. the biggest difference between marriage and a "relationship" has to do with legal benefits and the requirement of legal action in order to be considered legally free again. The exception is if one's spouse dies of course.

      From a societal stance we like to rank relationships on a hierarchy ratings system with marriage being at the top of the heap and a "booty call" or "friends with benefits" arrangement near the bottom.

      The basic boyfriend/girlfriend relationship isn't seen as a "commitment" because it's easy to walk away and generally there are no major financial painful hits to absorb. Living together is ranked higher than simply dating because the couple cohabitating and most likely sharing financial responsibilities for the household and yet many people still don't consider living together to be a "commitment".

      Having said that we have people like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell who have lived together for over 30 years.

      Lots of marriages don't last that long!

    • Ben716 profile imageAUTHOR

      Alianess Benny Njuguna 

      8 months ago from Kenya

      Your wife is right, a marriage is a relationship. In writing and speaking, we usually regard a relationship as not a marriage so as to differentiate a relationship between two partners and a marriage which consists of couples.

      There are a variety of relationships e.g teacher-student relationship and laws exist for each type of relationship. These laws are meant to safeguard people for their own safety and good. As you had indicated laws are meant to ensure one partner is not assaulted by the other. If the partner is assaulted she can report to the relevant authorities.

      The difficulty with relationships that are not marriage, it is hard to seek the law. Many countries have loose definitions of relationships which don't constitute a marriage.

    • Jay C OBrien profile image

      Jay C OBrien 

      8 months ago from Houston, TX USA

      My wife assures me that marriage is a relationship. Laws protect people from assault. If one is assaulted it is good to report it to the authorities to establish a record. If he or she does it again to the same or another person you may refer to the record.

    • Ben716 profile imageAUTHOR

      Alianess Benny Njuguna 

      8 months ago from Kenya

      I remember you had touched on women who go after the 'tough' guys who even though they will treat them roughly still find it thrilling to chase after such men. As you have noted, people have different views as to what constitutes relationship and their definition of love.

    • Ben716 profile imageAUTHOR

      Alianess Benny Njuguna 

      8 months ago from Kenya

      Generally, I define relationship that is not in the context of marriage though at times there exists a thin lone between them because even a marriage is relationship.

      I agree with you that your mother should have committed to your father.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      8 months ago

      I would probably say #1 is you're Unhappy in the relationship!

      Suffering is optional. No one is "stuck" with anyone.

      As for the rest: Life is a (personal) journey.

      Whatever "deal breakers" you or I could come up with there are bound to be people living under those circumstances who absolutely no desire to walk away. There is no "universal deal breakers".

      "Why would you want to be in a relationship with a person who doesn’t give a damn you’re a human being with feelings of your own?"

      I believe there are some people believe love and relationships are supposed to be {hard or difficult} or like a roller coaster ride.

      They connect "drama" with "passion" and the fighting, cheating, power struggles are a part of love for them. In fact there are some (women) who simply aren't into "nice guys".

      Their motto might be in line with the following statement:

      "We ignore those who adore us and adore those who ignore us."

      I've often said you could put such a woman in a room with five men and have four of them drop to their knees extending their heart out towards her while the 5th guy sits in a corner acting as if she doesn't exist. That will be {the guy} she wants to get to know!

      She sees him as a "mystery", a "challenge" and if she knows other women are into him she is willing to "compete" in order to (win). The most important thing is to prove to herself she have him.

      In other instances people have had to "jump through hoops" in order to get their parents to love them or shower some praise upon them. They're not comfortable with anyone who gives them love freely.

      There are a lot of women out there who are not comfortable with being continuously complemented, given flowers, poetry, wined & dined, along with numerous other gestures designed to express love. It's not unheard of for them to cheat on that type of guy to be with someone does the complete opposite!

      We've all heard the cliché: "Nice guys finish last."

      But have you ever heard of the lonely: "playboy", "jerk/a-hole", "gangster/thug", "narcissist" , Type A male, or "bad boy"?

      Probably not because whether or not many women want to admit it; they're {attracted} to this types of guys!

      Maybe they have a fantasy of being the "exception" in these men's lives. If he treats everyone like crap "except me" then that makes me special!

    • Jay C OBrien profile image

      Jay C OBrien 

      8 months ago from Houston, TX USA

      How do you define, "Relationship?" Does this include marriage? What law applies? My mother divorced (ended the relationship) my father due to his mental illness. That caused a problem as funds were cut off for the support of the children. My mother had to go to work and leave we children alone at home. The Judge only allowed minuscule child support. I believe it would have been better had she simply committed him and had access to his finances.

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