Signs That This Guy is Not a Keeper
He (or She) May Not Be a Keeper
Love is a wonderful thing. Everybody wants to meet that special someone who will sweep them off their feet and with whom they can live happily ever after. Unfortunately, though, many find that there are no fairy tale endings. While it is true that nobody is perfect and even the best relationships experience highs and lows, many of us want to find love so badly that we ignore signs that the person we are dating is not the best choice for us. What is obvious to all of your friends can be very hard for you to see.
If you are entering into a serious relationship, ask yourself the following questions. (Please keep in mind that I am a woman. I’m not trying to bash men, I’m simply writing this from a female perspective. Trust me, there are just as many female losers out there as men! These questions can apply to everybody.)
Does He Have Anger Issues?
When a couple first starts dating, they are on their best behavior in order to impress the person they are interested in. If your date yells at the waiter on your first date or expresses a little bit of road rage over something minor, how will they act when you’ve been together for a few years and the need to impress you is no longer there?
Is it Always All About Him?
After you’ve had a bad day at work, does your significant other give you a sympathetic ear, or do they act like they just don’t care? If you mention something that went wrong during your day, do they always feel the need to tell you how their day was worse? This person may not have any empathy for others.
Has He Tried to Cut You Off From Family and Friends?
Does he get along with your friends and family, or would he rather you not have anything to do with them? If he wants to control every aspect of your life and is unusually possessive, this is a bad sign and things are not going to get any better.
Does He Respect You?
Does your significant other treat you with respect and listen to your opinions or does he ridicule your opinions and put you down in front of others? Some people are so insecure that rather than raise up the person they’re with, they put them down in order to make themselves look smarter or more important. Ask yourself if you really want to be treated this way for the rest of your life.
Does He Understand Basic Hygiene?
As mentioned before, he should be trying to impress you when you first start dating. If he doesn’t care how he looks or smells now, what will it be like when he’s completely comfortable with you?
Does He Have Financial Problems?
In today’s economy, many good people have fallen on financial hard times. It’s just a fact of life. However, take a good, long look at what kind of debt the person is carrying. Did they purchase a house that is now underwater through no fault of theirs? Are they having a hard time paying student loans due to a weak job market? Or do they tend to go on spending sprees which they can’t afford and have massive credit card debt?
Does He Expect You to Support Him?
Some people just have a terrible work ethic and have no desire to hold a job. They also have a full arsenal of excuses as to why they are not working. Right now, good jobs can be hard to come by, but if he won’t even consider taking a job which is “beneath him” then you have to ask yourself what job would he consider good enough? Does he expect you to pay all of the bills while he waits for the right job? Will you always be paying all of the bills?
Is This Person too Good to be True?
While it is true that at the beginning of a relationship people are putting on their best face and trying to make a good impression, no one is perfect. If he always says exactly what you want to hear and has absolutely no discernable flaws, take a good look and make sure that he is showing you who he truly is and doesn’t have ulterior motives. Many women (and men) have had their bank accounts drained by “the perfect person.”
Is He Always Right?
Some men (and women) just hate to admit when they’ve made a mistake. It’s their way or no way. Can you live with a person who is totally inflexible and won’t even consider compromising? Will they take your feelings or opinions into account ever?
Does He Have a Drinking or Drug Problem?
Usually substance abuse problems are obvious to everyone but the addict. If the person you are interested in tends to get drunk or stoned on a regular basis, they may have a problem which won’t get better on its own. If they are aware of the problem and sincerely want to change, then you may decide to stand by them. However, if they see nothing wrong and have no desire to stop, you may want to ask yourself if it is worth your time (and money) to stay in this relationship.
Is He Abusive?
There is really nothing to think about with this situation. If he hits you or engages in any other type of physical abuse then it is time to leave. Very few abusers are able to change their behavior, and it will only get worse with time.
Remember, no person is perfect and if you are looking for perfection, you will end up very lonely. It is all right, even necessary, to compromise on some things. However, it is also important to be comfortable in your relationship. You deserve to be treated well in a loving, adult relationship.