- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Signs Your Boyfriend is Likely Cheating
After recently being cheated on, I can say a big part of it will be your gut. I very intuitively knew something was wrong, but I ignored that thought for a long time and kept trying to trust the guy. If he keeps seeming to have trust issues with you and thinks there must be some other guy for you, then you probably have a cheater on your hands. No, not everyone cheats, and cheating is terrible, so don't do it. Try to be as faithful as you possibly can. Be faithful to yourself. Live in accordance with the best kind of beauty you can find. And hopefully you'll attract someone at the same level. Don't be too afraid of a cheater. It isn't the worst thing in the entire world. Your fear of it may draw it to you.
Signs He is Cheating: Facebook
One of the best and now classic ways to tell if someone is cheating, is through social media. Particularly Facebook. There are a few hints that you can use. If he is making it difficult to see all his friends, that could make it difficult, but don't jump to conclusions about this. Some people just want that information private.
1. If he doesn't want to be official on Facebook, make sure there is a good reason. I don't want to be official because I don't really want people in my business. It's very weird announcing to a large audience the person I'm currently seeing. If it were me, as an adult, I'd rather not do that unless I'm getting married. Maybe your partner feels the same way about this.
2. Look at the comments he puts on other women's Facebook posts. You should be able to figure out most guys interests pretty quickly. You'll see who comments on his timeline, how frequently, and their content. You should look at her timeline and her profile pictures. And you should ask yourself if it seems more like it is about attraction or friendship. Don't jump to any conclusions yet. If there is a certain ex or girl you feel like really stands out, you may want to keep it in mind. I can usually track who likes who through Facebook, unless they are making efforts to keep it private.
3. Does anyone seem to like his pictures and make too many comments? Does it seem unusual? Does it seem like they are communicating a lot? People who are interested will communicate with whatever means they have.
4. Does he mention someone a lot in real life? You may want to look them up on Facebook to see if there's any ongoing suspicious conversation. Guys reveal their secrets in just about every breath they take. They can be pretty straight forward.
5. Has he been spending more time with a female friend? Try looking on Facebook to see if there's any weird wording or clue left behind.
Guys who cheat are dating a collective, not an individual. He isn't going to be as attentive to you as someone who is focused. He may be affectionate, but he might not know how to attend to emotional needs, or how to propel things into the future. Guys who are still playing the field will have strange schedules hiccups. Try seeing him on different days, especially ones you usually don't and see what happens.
Make sure he is both comfortable hanging out at his place and yours. Sometimes guys won't go to the girl's place because it seems too serious. And sometimes they don't want you at there's in case someone decides to pop by. Also, will he take you to public places or only take you to his place?
Roommates sometimes leave little clues about your boyfriend's unfaithfulness. If they say something strange that implies he sees more than one person -- the roommate may be unwittingly trying to let you know the truth. Roommates would know if more than one lady is heading back to the apartment. Roommates would get a pretty good connection on what's happening around their home. Sure, they might not know everything, but they'll know if he's got another honey.
Make sure you have a conversation at some point that you're exclusive. Guys can whittle there way out and say they didn't know they were exclusive or dating, or whatever. You have to draw the lines. Don't just let them draw the lines. Relationships are abstract pieces of art. People can interpret things in different ways, so you have to communicate to really understand why things are the way they are.
Guys will cheat at any level. It doesn't matter how close you are or if you have been together for awhile. The key here is to know it is a choice. And that choice may make no sense at all.
Here are some other clues that he isn't focused only on you.
1. He often seems out of ideas on how to hang out. Sure, planning is hard. But if they have to do twice the work, it can feel weird. If you start to realize he is taking you to the same places he takes his exes, then you have a problem.
2. He has feminine items pop up at his place that make no sense.
3. He disappears without reason and doesn't really tell you who he is with. He may have said he was camping all weekend, but didn't offer up with who.
4. He constantly talks about how he has been cheated on. It's an indication that he might not have processed through it and is likely to understand those people by doing it himself.
5. He doesn't seem to have any strong feelings against cheating.
6. In your gut, you constantly feel like something is wrong. Listen to it. Explore it. Realize that trust doesn't seem all there.
But Here is What You Should Really Remember
As gruesome as cheating is, you can survive it. It's miserable to go through the emotions and have your trust broken, but you will survive it. You can leave this person, especially if you think that trust cannot be repaired. And you may find relief in getting away from someone who doesn't care enough about you to protect your heart. You deserve someone who cares about your heart. You deserve someone who wants to date and focus on you, rather than date several people at once without giving you enough attention.
People who really want to support and nourish a relationship are less likely to cheat. They want put as many expectations on you, but are ready to love you and see things through. Remember that some people are following relationships just by what happens in the moment, and they are not thinking about what happen globally. When you are strong enough, you can communicate what you want about a relationship from the very beginning. Straight up tell people you want a supportive and nurturing relationship, and not one just based on idle facts or attraction. Of course attraction can open the initial doors for the two of you, but it isn't a strong enough reason to stay in a relationship and keep it going. Look for someone who really wants to see the strongest version of you. Someone who really want to help you to be an amazing person for this world. Don't focus so much on whether someone is a cheater, and focus more on whether it is the best supportive relationship it can be.
Cheating won't defeat you. You'll overcome it and be stronger for it. It doesn't make you a failure if someone has cheated on you. It doesn't make you any less of a person. You are still you, and you still have a chance to thrive in the relationship world.