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Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating on You

Updated on October 22, 2017
aleciajeanne profile image

Alecia is a disabled mother of 3 who loves to write about life, love and health.She enjoys helping people with her writing. It completes her


It has happened to us one time or another, we have felt the tug inside of us making us think about the possibility of our partner cheating on us. Depending on your personality, you may try to shrug it off in hope's that you are completely wrong. While other's will go as far as trying to get into their partner's phones.

Everytime I have ever felt that tug of pure intuition, I would check my husband's phone. Or atleast attempt to, and in the end I was right. He was in fact cheating on me, the proof was right there in the text messages and his social messaging app. Every single time I found that evidence, something inside me would just explode. I was left thinking "Am I really not good enough for him that he has to cheat on me with someone else?!? In the end I realized that I was good enough, but I was too good for him.

That is something I would like you to remember as well. No matter what the outcome, if your partner is cheating or not, please remember you don't deserve to be treated like that. You deserve better than to be cheated on by someone who feels that they need someone else to help them feel like they are worth more as a person. Where in the end this leaves you thinking you are worth way less. You are not worth any less.

Signs Your Partner May Be Cheating

  1. Dressing and grooming habits change dramatically for the better.By this I mean all of a sudden he begins to start dressing better and start taking better care of himself.
  2. Partner may start using new lingo or start to talk differently
  3. They guard their phone with their life. While before they never put a password, pin or lock on their phone. They do now.
  4. Leaving the room when they get a phone call
  5. Your partner smiles while on his phone texting. When asking them who they are talking to, they respond with some random friends name. What makes this so weird of course is that they never smile or laugh when texting the person.
  6. Random names of the same sex are showing up in there phone. Instead of putting their real name, they will put a "friends" name so they think you wont question it at all.
  7. Change in work habits. They no longer want you to come in for lunch or they are staying late for work or even traveling.
  8. Distant behavior. Or they are no longer interested in having sexual relations with you. Normally you two would sleep together a few times a week. Now it is only happening once every couple of weeks.
  9. They would rather be talking to someone of social media or through texting than spending time with you.
  10. They are purposely starting fights with you so they have a real reason to leave for a period of time.
  11. There are messages that have been deleted from your partners phone, or have been moved or archived into a different area.
  12. You find a second calculator app on their phone. People are using the calculator app to hide things like their pornography, texts etc.
  13. They are quick to pick up their phone to answer it. But usually they dont leave it anywhere for you to be able to answer it anyways.
  14. When checking the call log on your partner's phone, you see a certain number listed way to frequently. And at hour's where you may be sleeping. And for a very long period of time.
  15. When you call them while they are at work or out with their friends. They respond differently to certain questions. They may also not say they love you back at the end of the call.
  16. They go silent or quickly change the subject they are talking about while talking on their phone.
  17. You find charges on the credit card bill for Hotel's or to stores that sell lingerie.Maybe even jewelry or flower shops.
  18. You find items like bra, underwear, boxers or even hair ties that you do not use.
  19. You smell perfume or cologne on their clothes, or clothes of they that are hidden in his car.
  20. Toliet seat has been left up or down when you have been gone all day or for extended period of time. This is for the people who have a habit of leaving the toilet seat a certain way. So if you see something that is off, then it could be a sign.
  21. You find hair that doesn't belong to you in the drain or even the car. For example you have long red hair, and you find short blonde hair in the drain of the sink.
  22. Finding condoms when you and your partner do not use them.
  23. The car mileage seems to be way off. This mean's your partner has been going other places than work and to the store like they explained.
  24. The passenger seat in the car is adjusted differently. It's either too far back or too close. Which means someone who was either taller or shorter than you was in your seat or theirs.
  25. Your partner want's to go "buy something" "run to the store" or "go get gas" at the most random times.

Question Time

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What Now?

So after reading all of the signs, you are more than certain that your partner is cheating on you. So what do you do? You have many choices and decisions to make at this point. It may be easy to just throw your hand's up in the air and yell for them to get out of the house. But may consider all of the options. There might be children involved.

If the cheating was not sexual, and may have only been emotional cheating, or the person was just texting another person. Then kicking your partner out of the house may actually be just "going too far".

Here is how to handle the cheating partner:

  • You need to think about whether or not the trust is completely gone from the relationship. Cheating is not okay. But sometimes people may perceive things differently. And some couples are able to trust eachother again, and fast at that. You need to find out if trust is going to be able to ever be a real part of your relationship in the future. If not, then maybe it is time to part ways.
  • Ask your partner to cut off all communication with the other party. If they are completely okay with it, then only time will tell if they are going to go back to their old ways and cheat again.
  • Get to the root of why your partner cheated. Cheating is wrong no matter what. But some people feel that the reason for them cheating gives them the okay to do it.Some people cheat because they feel like their partner doesn't show them enough love or attention. This forces them to go out and find someone who will. This usually occurs with women cheating on their male partners. They my also cheat because their partner is no longer engaging in sexual relations with them. The other is when the cheater goes out and cheats because they have a major sexual attraction to the other person.
  • Give your partner space. And do not try to talk to them about the issue until the two of you are ready to talk like adults.

© 2017 Alecia Brown


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 months ago

      "Every time I have ever felt that tug of pure intuition, I would check my husband's phone. Or at least attempt to, and in the end I was right. He was in fact cheating on me"

      Unless one has a history of being paranoid or insecure there is never any reason to doubt (yourself)!

      The minute you no longer (trust) your mate it really doesn't matter whether you (can) confirm it or not something has changed dramatically from your point of view.

      In fact it's "changes" that causes us to suspect our mate is cheating. This may be their behavior, attitude, becoming less available to us, emotionally or physically more distant, or whatever else. It's a "change" we dislike.

      However if we were able to prove they are NOT cheating and the changes remained it's doubtful we would jump for joy. The sad truth is being "unhappy" is not enough for most of us to end a relationship or marriage.

      Many of us almost need our mate to cheat or abuse us in some way to give ourselves (permission) to leave a relationship or marriage we are unhappy in.

      There are 3 basic reasons why people (don't) cheat.

      1 . They are "in love" with their mate or spouse.

      2. They know how hurt they would be if their mate cheated.

      3. They don't want to risk loosing him or her.

      There are also 3 types of cheaters.

      1. The Incessant Cheater

      This person has never be faithful in any long-term relationship. They get bored easy and are always looking for the thrill that comes with being with someone (new).

      Their motto: "Variety is the spice of life!"

      2. The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater

      This person is not proactively looking to cheat. They may have a crush on someone or find someone very attractive. This person one day actually flirts with them! Or makes it known there's a chance to turn their fantasy into reality!

      This cheater caves in to temptation!

      3. The Discontented Cheater

      He/she blames YOU! They will say: "If you hadn't done (this) or stopped doing (that) they never would have stepped outside of the relationship. Essentially they're saying it's (your fault) that (they) cheated.

      The goal of most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. They are not looking to (replace) one relationship with another. They want to compliment what they already have. Whatever they feel is "missing" in the relationship is not bad enough for them to walk away.

      In all honesty when we ask (why) it's usually a rhetorical question because there is {nothing he or she can say} that will cause us to feel they were "right" to do what they did!

      The real question is: Is cheating a "deal breaker" for you?

      We also must not assume a (busted cheater) will beg us for forgiveness, show contrition, and bend over backwards to earn our trust. Oftentimes they're "relieved" to be caught.

      They may decide they actually want out of the marriage or relationship. In some instances they run off with "the other" person.

      If cheating is a "deal breaker" for you and you suspect your mate is cheating you might as well end the relationship. Very few people are going to spend the rest of their lives transparent and attempting to "prove" their love. Once trust is broken it's extremely difficult to get it back.

      One man's opinion! :)