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Are You Ready for a Serious Relationship?

Updated on October 10, 2016
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Sadie Holloway is a workshop facilitator who teaches interpersonal communication skills to help people strengthen their relationships.

How can you tell if you're ready for a serious relationship? How can you tell if your boyfriend is ready?

Here are some signs the two of you are ready to get serious.

Have you been in a romantic relationship for a while but you're wondering if what you and your boyfriend have is true love?

Do you spend time pondering the question ‘Are we getting serious?’

Have you ever wondered if he could be your soul mate?

Do you have doubts about whether or not you are ready for a serious relationship?

Asking yourself “Is this true love?” isn’t necessarily a sign of doubts about your boyfriend. Nor is it a sign that you aren't ready to get serious with him. It’s just a sign that you're ready to examine your relationship in a meaningful way. It’s a sign that you're curious about love, that you're self-aware, and that you want to bring your best, healthiest self to the relationship. So if you're wondering if you are in love, don’t panic. Read on for more tips on what to consider in deciding if you're ready for a serious relationship.

Is this couple breaking up? Or are they talking about getting serious in their relationship?
Is this couple breaking up? Or are they talking about getting serious in their relationship?

How do you know when you're in love, and when it's time for the relationship to get serious? Well, everyone experiences love and romance in their own unique way. So there really is no single answer to the question ‘Is this true love?’ or "Is this a serious relationship?" But there are things you can pay attention to help you decide if this is a relationship worth investing more of your time and energy in.

1. You are comfortable starting conversations with your partner about your relationship. Not only is the willingness to talk about your relationship a sign of maturity and confidence, it’s a sign that you understand the role communication plays in a healthy relationship. That's important because you can’t experience true love with your partner if you aren’t in a safe, healthy relationship with strong lines of open, honest communication. Another indication that you are ready for a serious relationship, and so is he, is that he feels comfortable starting a conversation with you about the state of your relationship. Being in a relationship is a two-way street, after all. You both need to be open to talking about your future if you want to be serious, and seriously in love!

Are you and your boyfriend best friends? That's a positive sign that you two are ready for a serious relationship!
Are you and your boyfriend best friends? That's a positive sign that you two are ready for a serious relationship!

2. You and your boyfriend are awesome friends in addition to great lovers! If being with your boyfriend feels like hanging out with one of your best friends in the whole world, that’s a very good indicator your relationship has the potential to grow into something serious and long-term.

Friendship is vital in a healthy relationship because when things do get serious---and by serious, I mean life happens: illness, family loss, unemployment---you’ll have your best friend (and lover) at your side. Having a mutually compatible sexual chemistry with your best friend is one of the best feelings in world. You can’t experience true love without true friendship. If you can see yourself being happy just chilling with a guy who's also your best friend, you’re off to a good start.

A sign that you’re ready for a serious relationship is that you're open to talking to your boyfriend about where you’re relationship is going.

3. You feel comfortable sharing your most embarrassing moments with your boyfriend. Talking about the things that make you feel insecure, the things that give you nightmares, and the things that make you feel anxious is a sign that you are wanting to have a long-term, trust-filled relationship with your partner. And if he's openly sharing all of his thoughts on these difficult parts of life with you, then he’s getting serious too. Sure, talking about your deepest fears too soon in a relationship can sometimes be sign of poor boundaries, but if you and your boyfriend have been together for more than a little while, opening up about the things that make you feel vulnerable is a sign of growth and maturity. It is a sign that you're willing to trust your boyfriend with some of your most personal, fragile emotions.

4. You’re not afraid to disagree with your boyfriend. One of the best signs that things are getting serious with your boyfriend is you feel secure enough to speak your mind. You aren’t afraid to hold a viewpoint that's different than his. You don’t just agree with everything he says just to keep him happy. You feel safe enough to express an opinion that he may not agree with.

If you find yourself avoiding conflict or just going along with whatever he says because you're worried your relationship will end, that’s a sign you shouldn’t be in a serious relationship with this person. Committing to someone for the long haul means being able to talk through your problems. And when tough issues do arise, you have to know how to fight fair if you want your relationship to grow into something more serious.

Being able to talk to your boyfriend honestly about your relationship is a sign you are ready to get serious.
Being able to talk to your boyfriend honestly about your relationship is a sign you are ready to get serious.

5. You’ve had serious relationships before. Why is this a good sign you're ready for a serious relationship? Because chances are, if you were in a relationship before, you’ve likely learned a thing or two about how people relate to one another when they're in love. Even if your past serious relationship didn’t work out and you broke up, that doesn’t mean things can’t be serious with your current beau. As long as you're willing to be honest with yourself about why the relationship didn’t work out, and you are committed to learning from your mistakes, there’s always a chance to start over again and find true love with the one you are with.

6. You have talked about how your partner will relate to your family and friends. This doesn't mean you have to get your family and friends to meet and approve of your new boyfriend before your relationship deepens. But if you have strong feelings for him and you want him to be the one, then feeling confident your loved ones will get along with him will make it easier to have a richer, more satisfying relationship.

If you have kids from a previous marriage or relationship, you should make sure that they have met the person who, if you get serious with him, will become a part of their lives too. Your boyfriend, if he is serious about the two of you as a couple, should be open to talking about his role in your kids life.

Can you see your family, including your kids from a previous marriage, getting along well with your boyfriend? That's a good sign that you might be ready to have a serious relationship with this man.
Can you see your family, including your kids from a previous marriage, getting along well with your boyfriend? That's a good sign that you might be ready to have a serious relationship with this man. | Source

7. You are taking good care of yourself. No matter how many of the above signs that you're ready for a serious relationship resonate with you, there is one very important indicator of relationship-readiness: you are taking good care of your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Even if you tick-off all the "I'm ready!" indicators, you still need to be committed to taking care of yourself first and foremost. If you aren't eating properly, or you're working too hard at your job, or you're not finding time for healthy exercise and recreation, do you have the time and energy to get serious about this relationship?

The other reason taking good care of yourself is important if you want your relationship to become more serious is that you have to be ready to deal with rejection. You may think that you're ready to have a much more committed relationship, but how will you cope if he says that he's not ready to get more serious? What if he says he just wants the relationship to remain casual? What if he says that he wants to break up with you when you start a conversation about your relationship?

Taking good care of yourself will strengthen your resilience if things don't work out the way you had hoped. If you are nervous about being rejected, the video below may help you cope with getting rejected by your boyfriend.

Images source: Pixabay

Which of these do you think is the most important indicator that you're ready to be in a serious relationship?

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© 2015 Sadie Holloway

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