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Signs of Cheating in a New Relationship

Updated on October 10, 2016
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Sadie Holloway is a workshop facilitator who teaches interpersonal communication skills to help people strengthen their relationships.

What are some signs that your new boyfriend is cheating on you? Your number one clue may be the fact that you are even asking yourself if he is cheating on you.

Has he got another ace up his sleeve? Is he seeing someone else behind your back and trying to keep his options open?
Has he got another ace up his sleeve? Is he seeing someone else behind your back and trying to keep his options open? | Source

How long after you start dating someone do you expect to be on exclusive dating terms?

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How can you tell if the man you have started to see on a regular basis is serious about the relationship? What if he is dating other people without telling you? Would you be able to recognize the signs that he's cheating on you?

1. Have you noticed that he never introduces you to his friends as his date or his girlfriend? This could be a sign that he doesn’t want other people he knows to find out he is seeing someone, including someone that he is cheating on you with. If he avoids identifying himself as being in a relationship with you, ask him why.

2. Although you have been dating for awhile and seem quite comfortable around each other, including being romantically intimate, has he allowed you to stay at his place by yourself? Or does he usher you out when he has to leave? Perhaps he doesn’t want you in his place by yourself because you might find out someone else has been coming around, too. What if you stumble across a lipstick left in a bathroom drawer? He might be worried about you finding some lingerie kicked under the bed. What if his other girlfriend called and left a voicemail message that you could hear? Or worse, what if she stopped by and let herself in while you were there? If he’s cheating on you, he probably has more than a few reasons to not want you left alone at his place.

3. You don’t get to see him during the primetime dating hours. You always have to see him at odd hours such as in the morning or midday instead of the evening. The weekends are out too, so you always end up seeing him on weekdays. Is this a sign that he’s cheating on you? It depends. Unless he has a genuine excuse for not being able to go on dates on weekends (such as he works shifts or nights) then he could be saving those dating slots for someone else.

4. There is no sign of 'you' anywhere in his house, in his car, on his phone. You can't see one photograph, one note, one memento of you anywhere that would show you even exist in his life. If he's cheating on you, this could be a huge red flag. Not visually acknowledging you in his life is one way of pretending you don't exist when he's not there. If he has someone else over for a date, he doesn't want to have to worry about his other date finding out about you.

So what do you do if you start to notice these signs of cheating popping up? Well, it all depends on how badly you want to continue seeing him. If you think he's not being faithful to you, but you still want to see him, you could ask for clarification on your mutual dating boundaries. Make ir clear to him that you expect the two of you to be exclusive, on the off chance that he needed a memo making it clear that you were in a monogomous relationship.

Even if you think he is cheating on you, you should give him a chance to explain himself. It may be that he has a very good explanation for these behaviors. It would be a shame to end a relationship with someone who really wasn't cheating on you. When you bring up the topic, your gut reaction to how he responds will be a big clue about whether or not he was seeing other people. Your subconscious mind is able to pick up on subtle body language clues and facial expressions that tell a bigger story.

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.

— Albert Einstein

How good do you think you are at spotting a liar?

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If you are tempted to spy on your new boyfriend, do you really think you could make the relationship last? What would happen if he found out you were snooping around his stuff?
If you are tempted to spy on your new boyfriend, do you really think you could make the relationship last? What would happen if he found out you were snooping around his stuff? | Source

Is there anything that you shouldn't do if you suspect that someone you are dating is seeing other people? Yes.

Don't be a snoop or violate his privacy by following him, rummaging through his stuff or asking his friends about his whereabouts. You'll just come across as obsessive and possessive. Don't do anything to him that you wouldn't want done to you. Always take the high road. You'll feel better about yourself if you do. If you do break up with him because of his cheating, you will be able to hold your head up high and move on with your self-respect still in tact.

Don't just leave without hearing him out, Even if he is cheating on you and he admits it, you may be able to talk through it and get past his transgression. For some couples, going through a rough patch where one or the other, or both people have made a mistake can actually strengthen their relationship.

Is he the marrying type? Do you have other issues that are causing you to have doubts about your future with this person?
Is he the marrying type? Do you have other issues that are causing you to have doubts about your future with this person?

© 2014 Sadie Holloway

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