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Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Man

Updated on November 26, 2016
Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Man
Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Man

Excessive jealousy and controlling behavior are some of the early warning signs of an abusive man. If your husband or boyfriend is showing some of these symptoms, then know that you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship. Be aware that emotional abuse can lead to physical violence or death. Just because he hasn't physically abused you yet doesn't mean it's not coming. It doesn’t worth it to be married to someone who talks about how attractive he finds other women. Someone who tries to make you feel guilty for being honest with him. Someone who isolates you from everything and everyone you care about, so that he can have complete control over you, someone who calls you all kinds of cruel names even though you've told him how unhappy it makes you. It is good that you cares to recognize it early enough before it destroys you mentally and physically.

Top 10 Signs of an Emotional Abusive Man

1. He gets jealous a lot:

Jealousy is a big sign of insecurity. You will only end up trying to please him all the time. What he was jealous of before marriage could worsen once you get married. The more he becomes abusive and violent is obviously dangerous to a relationship. You need to let him know how bad you feel about this and that it can't continue, and perhaps invite him to see a counselor with you if he is unable to deal with the jealousy on his own.

2. He doesn’t listen to your opinions about sex:

He forces you to have sex when you do not want to, and even in ways that you do not want to. It means your husband or boyfriend is emotionally manipulating you into sexual activities you don’t like. He is unfriendly if he won't listen to your opinions about sex. If he does not understand your feelings, it means he does not love you truly and wants only sex from the relationship.

3. He blames you for his problems or his bad mood:

He blames you for his actions and behavior when you have done nothing wrong. He's going to keep doing this to you because he doesn't know how to accept responsibility for his own life and mistakes. This is nothing but emotional abuse and he does it because he wants to control you.

4. He always ignores you:

When he stops talking to you each time he’s displeased. Your partner may just ignore you until you apologize for opposing his decision.

Source: By johnhain via
Source: By johnhain via

5. His behavior scares you.

Frequent blame, humiliation and undermining your self-esteem makes you to be afraid of your partner. Also when displeased with you, he’d hit walls, drive dangerously, or do other things to scare you. That means he is showing some of the signs of an emotional abusive man. Also, if you are being abused emotionally, it won’t be long before he starts the physical violence.

6. He isolates you from friends and family:

He tries to separate you from everything and everyone you care about, so that he can have complete control over you. He is self-doubting about being worthy of you, but he’ll try all deceitful ways to make you think he’s the only person that could care about you, because you are not worthy of being loved by anyone else but him. He will eventually get violent either before you are married or after you get married.

7. Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?

Your feelings are dismissed. Your spouse refuses to discuss issues that troubled you. They avoid discussion of any matter where they might have to take concern for their actions or words. Your achievements don’t matter. You’re not allowed to think. Emotionally abusive lovers take pleasure in taking full control of the relationship.

8. He accuses you of having affairs:

Another warning sign is that he accuses you of being interested in someone else or he's always accusing you of cheating on him despite your being loyal and honest with him. He is possessively and does not have trust in you. Your relationship is unhealthy and potentially dangerous.

9. He makes jest of your body:

He is being very disrespectful and cruel. He is killing your self-esteem by making fun of your body. He tries to belittle you and makes you feel worthless so that he can have complete control over you. All he does is trying to bring you down emotionally and physically.

10. He shouts at you whenever you make the smallest mistakes:

He screams at you if things were not done by you the way he thinks it should be. Again he would yell about what you did wrong in the past making you feel so down and sad. That is another form of emotional and mental abuse in relationship. It is more damaging than the physical abuse because it destroys self-confidence and causes low self-esteem. Basically he is controlling you and making you feel that without him you are useless.

Are you in an emotionally abusive relationship?

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Marriage counseling would be beneficial for both of you. His behaviors are inappropriate and if he wants your relationship to work well, then the man needs to recognize that what he is doing is inimical to your trust in him and to your self-esteem.


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    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 

      4 years ago from Minnesota

      Excellent information on signs of abusive people. I have been in one and seen many friends; men and women, in abusive relationships. Life is way too short to live with someone who is controlling, isolating and violent. Wonderful job on this hub.

    • Elearn4Life profile image

      Darlene Matthews 

      4 years ago

      The biggest mistake here is to suggest that only men can be abusive. I know a few women that fit this mold. They pray on men with low self esteem to control them.

      This is a very useful article however men can also be victimized and should be able to freely seek just as much help getting out of abusive relationships as women without being judged. Voted Up

      "Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Man (Or Woman)"


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