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Simple Steps to Get an Ideal Partner: How to find an good Man

Updated on July 2, 2014

Getting an ideal partner

In today’s reality it has become exceedingly difficult to find an ideal partner that would share your dreams and life goals. Not because there aren’t any eligible bachelors out there but finding them seems a herculean task. Eligible bachelors abound but locating a love interest among the majority of pretenders needs a certain type of skill and knowledge.

Understanding what men want in a life partner can make the difference between spinsterhood and happily ever after with a loving and devoted spouse. Every woman has a friend that seems to have a monopoly on eligible men while her friends seem unlucky in love; this is because she understands men.

So how do you attract the right man without compromising on your core values, desires and wants? Before you start searching for an ideal mate you need to organize your priorities develop a plan and stick to it.

Listed bellow is tried and tested methods to attract the right man who might meet some of your expectations. Note there is no perfect man that has everything you wish such as wealth, being handsome, religious, hardworking, a gentleman and so on.

Having to high an expectation could be counter productive because you aren’t perfect yourself, let good morals the fear of God, love dependability, and trust guide your decision.

Couple in love

couple in love
couple in love | Source

Some simple steps to finding a life partner

1 Take good care of your appearance and build on your self confidence

2 Say no to causal sex

3 Say no to cohabiting keep your self respect

4 Work on your mannerisms and character

5 Be God fearing

6 Discover Man that practice same religion

7 Investigate and learn more about your love interest

8 Have a practical check list

9 Mingle and socialize

10 You can find love anywhere

Religion is important in finding love

Religious men make great husbands because they are bound be the doctrines that guide such religions, men who fear God are compelled towards a pious life style that has honesty, family values, prayer and faith guiding their life style.

If you are a Christian or Muslim woman getting heavily involved in church activities could expose you to eligible bachelors who would prefer marring someone from the same faith. Activities abound in religious setting such as chore practice, bazaar, societal groups even Sunday school.

Getting visible in religious activities puts you within view of all the eligible bachelors in the church or prayer house. If they are shy you can zero in on one by encouraging them with smiles and conversation. Some men generally need a little encouragement to bring them out of their shell, so be friendly and courteous while reserving an element of mystery.

Girl in mini skirt

Dancing happy girl in mini skirt
Dancing happy girl in mini skirt | Source

Your appearance counts

The first and most important step to finding love is taking care of your appearance; your appearance is the first thing men notice even before contact. Men a visually based than woman and are first attracted to a woman because of the way she looks.

Your appearance dictates how people perceive you- wearing slutty cloths and revealing your assets only cheapen you in the eyes of men. They would approach with a mind set of bedding the woman without any reservations.

Be a lady and favor well cut dresses, floral prints, gypsy skirts, wear moderate makeup nicely done hair with an amiable mannerism and a hint of mystery to keep him interested. There is nothing wrong in accentuating your best features as long as its done in moderation, men subconsciously look for qualities identical to their mothers when searching for a life partner.

Your appearance is about the most important thing while searching for a life partner; let your appearance reflect the amiable personality within.

Steps to finding a mate

What is important when finding an ideal mate

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A woman smiling

A smiling woman
A smiling woman

Say no to sex

Don’t fall for their tricks concerning sex, if her wants the whole package let him make an honest woman of you. Why should he take you as a wife and spoil his freebee if you give out the goods easily, men are selfish that way.

They respect a pious woman even though they don’t want to acknowledge such openly, Resist sex and don’t cohabit. Sex before marriage is wrong especially if you are a student of religion so try to do without it until you get married.

Work on your character

Your character is the next thing a prospective suitor notices after your appearance, having an easy going character an inviting personality is easily noticed. Smile and make yourself approachable if you zero in on a prospective bachelor.

Find common interests, goals, and fun activities, encourage communication and friendship using subtle methods. Let him think he’s doing the chasing but if there’s no positive response move on. Be suppliant, approachable, easy going and friendly towards suitable bachelors.

Don’t be desperate and remember you have the power to reject or accept any invitation but never date out of pressure or pity.

Investigate a Potential Mate


How to investigate your date

Do you investigation

Investigate your love interest because he could be a married man without scruples, divorced or other unsavory characters. Find out if he is gainful employed, background, religion and belief.

Ask question and make a determination based only on fact. Don’t be carried away because every man would put his best foot forward when dating, listen to what he says and use common sense.

Make a check list

What do you seek from a future partner you can make a list of virtues and if the man come in seventy percent then you have a good chance at love. A check list is only a guide and shouldn’t be taken too seriously but a reminder of values you hold dear.

Things that you can include in your check list are if he is gainful employed, has a certificate, religion, some features you like, mannerism and so on. Remember your check list might be a guide but shouldn’t be a hindrance to love.

Finding Mr.Right

church gatherings
mingle more
same religion
be approachable
common interests
blind dates
public places

Mingle like You Mean It

Mingle words and image of a wine glass
Mingle words and image of a wine glass

Find love online

It is possible to find love online if you limit yourself to your immediate locality, be very careful not to fall for fraudsters and keep vital information to yourself .when you make a love connection online have a meeting in a public place if possible with a friend close by.

Some people have found love online but great care is needed because you are dealing with a stranger despite the telephone conversations and mails. Love might also be around the comer on social media platforms like Facebook and twitter. Always leave your options open.

Open yourself to blind dates but always meet in public places with lots of people, if not impressed make a quick exit, some people have gotten lucky finding Mr. Right on such blind dates.


Learn the art of mingling whenever you attend a social gathering, mingling involves subtly getting involved in small groups and getting involved in the conversation. Go out with friends to fun locations and mingle, public places like parks, museums, restaurants and bars might work.

Chose event you attend carefully

Choose events you attend carefully if you want to find the right partner or love interest, corporate events that allow mingling with organization like bankers, cooperate bodies and other social gathering. Gainfully employed bachelors are busy people and might not have any spare time for leisure and fun so they are limited to corporate gatherings and events. Eligible bachelors abound in such places and are ready and willing to find love.

Racial preference and ethnicity


Ethnicity shouldn’t be a big issue but it actually is in certain countries and regions, because it’s easy to relate with someone from similar background and ethnicity. In Africa it is a big problem because even tribes hardly relate well with each other.


Finding a life partner requires being at the right place and time, being visible approachable, social and courteous. Take proper care of your appearance and be approachable while taking part in communal activities and religious gathering.

Attend corporate parties with your friend and be easy going and amiable and Mr. Right might just be around the corner.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Excellent advice voted up and useful! (Nice writing style)

      The bottom line is most people never take the time to do any serious "introspective thinking" to figure out (who they are), what they want and need in a mate (before) they start pursuing relationships with others. That is the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

      This causes them to enter into relationships based upon impulsive connection or happenstance. You have to know what you want! Each of us chooses our own friends, lovers, and spouse. You are responsible for your own choices.

      I agree with your statement; "Note there is no perfect man that has everything you wish..." Oftentimes having unrealistic expectations keeps someone from enjoying life. It's also important for one to (take stock of them self) as it what do they have to offer the other person!

      Don't expect to sit next to the moon unless YOU are a star!

      As you alluded to a woman has to be where the type of man she wants is likely to hang out or congregate. Even a lottery winner has to buy a ticket.

      When it comes to sex most couples that get married have had sex these days. The most important thing in my opinion is finding someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

    • tony55 profile image

      femi 2 years ago from Nigeria

      Beautiful comment i agree with you on all points raised.

      Thanks dashingscorpio

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