- Gender and Relationships»
Sincerely, Your Frienemy
What About Your Friends
As we grow older, we realize that not everyone is who they proclaim themselves to be. The very ones who we trust and confide in, are the very one who betray us with little to no remorse. Our issue, is that we continue to put our trust in people who do not have our best interest in mind.
Do you have that one close friend who always always has something negative to say about the person you are dating? Regardless if the person you are dating is a saint or a sinner, this friend will always point out his/her flaws. Understand this, if your friend loves you, they will respect the person you decide to share your life with. There is a distinct difference between a friend looking out for another friend, and a friend being a straight up hater. However, when it comes to the point where your so called "friend" is openly disrespectful to the person you are dating there is something deeper there that the naked eye cannot see.
Most women despise anything that appears to be better than them. We claim to love every human being on earth but to be quite frank, we are envious creatures. In friendships a woman might claim she is elated for your happiness but in reality she actually wishes it was her. This is where the problems come in at. There is nothing worse than a woman who so desperately wants what another woman has, instead of getting her own. In friendship this is quite dangerous. Simply because, if your friend cannot be comfortable with what he/she has and still be genuinely happy for you; this person is to be considered untrustworthy. There is no way you can trust a person who fakes their happiness.
Out side of relationships, friends are involved with our lives in every way. Whether it be for play dates with the kids or a girls night out on the town, we are always talking and sharing information with our "friends". Have you ever had that one tad bit of info that you didn't want to leak and get out but it did? Check your circle of friends. I'm sure you'll find there is a weak link in the mix. Real friends keep secrets, and protect their friends' reputation with honor. Hardly ever will you see a genuine friend posting malicious things about another close friend, unless of course, they have passionately yet secretly despised them from the beginning. Regardless of how many fall outs a friendship has gone through, there should never be a point to where years of secrets and confiding spills out on social media networks. That is not what friends do, it is however, what frienemies do.
Real friends talk, they communicate and whether they are wrong or right they are able to listen without speaking, and speak without demeaning.
Living in the Midwest for all of my life, I have seen friends literally kill one another. I have witnessed friends setting each other up to be jumped, robbed, and even raped. It is sad but it is also true.
Realize that not everyone deserves the title of being a friend. We mean well when we let people into our lives, not really expecting to automatically be stabbed in the back but we have to be a bit more precautious. I believe Drake the rapper came out with the song entitled "No New Friends" prod. by DK Khalid. Even on the industry level, friendship is now the new name for frienemy. People are learning that just because a person calls themselves your friends doesn't mean they actually are.
Evaluate and check the people who are around you. Be aware of the people you unload to, are they trustworthy. Can they hold your secrets? It is in your best interest to be wise about the people you let into your life and into your heart.
Remember not everyone you call a friend, actually is. Pay attention.