Six Free and Easy Dos and Don'ts to Help Make a Happy Marriage
Doing These Things Should Help
Stay in touch. There is almost no excuse not to with cell phones, texting, instant messaging, email or even snail mail. Most couples are away from each other at least nine hours a day and if one or both have jobs that require travel, the separation can last for days or weeks. Try to keep these, usually quick, check-ins as positive as possible. Sometimes negative information will need to be communicated and should be. Joys are multiplied and burdens are divided when shared. A phone call a day, may help keep the counselor away!
Make plans together. Coordinate calendars so that you are in the know about each others’ schedules. This way you can be sure not to over schedule or schedule over another’s event. Remember, everything takes longer than you think and anything that can go wrong will. Think margin and balance and much stress will be avoided.
Get physical in ways other than sex. Lounging together on the sofa at home, holding hands, back rubs and foot rubs, snuggling in bed, hugs and caresses communicate to your spouse that they are worthy of your attention. This is very flattering and helps to relieve the rebuffs that may have occurred elsewhere in their day.
Now for Some Don'ts
Smother love will smother love. Micromanaging your spouse’s life works only if your spouse wants a mommy. Give each other room to have friends, hobbies, and interests where you are not in lockstep all the time. Again, balance is key.
Putdowns are relationship killers, especially if done in front of others. There are diplomatic ways to correct your spouse, if an issue must be addressed. Interrupting you spouse to correct minor details of a story he or she is relating is annoying to the listeners and downright rude to your spouse. So what if Aunt Martha’s dress was light mauve and not lavender.
Don’t think that getting married means your relationship is all wrapped up and ready to face the world. The work has just begun. It is critical that you work together on fine tuning expectations and goals with flexibility and forgiveness as you discover how to complete each other.
Marriage ideally is two people who each want the best for the other. There is nothing more attractive than knowing that you are the most important person in the world to another. These six easy ideas are just a beginning and won't cost a dime. Pay attention to what works and doesn’t work in your relationship and adjust or compromise accordingly. The marriage you save can be a happy one!
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