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Love #123 Part 1

Updated on November 10, 2011
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I am an artist, designer, photographer and writer. See more of my work on cmariearts.


Something so innocent...

We all want to be loved. I sat in something for six years wanting to be loved. Sometimes it did feel like I was loved. At other times though, I was alone and not loved. Lucky #3 that's how I saw it. He told me he could save me. He told me he would love me forever. He told me everything I wanted to hear. Everything any girl would want to hear. He told me I was beautiful and his love made me love myself more. Then, when things started falling apart and he wasn't there anymore, I couldn't handle it either. It felt almost as if I was dying and I couldn't breathe anymore.

There were 3 loves. Love #3 is still going on, wondering if it will last. Love #1 taught me a lot and made me strong. Love # 1 I didn't even want just got into somehow. Loving the attention, then eventually falling in love. But, I guess he really didn't love me that much in the first place. Love #1 was the one that loved attention from other girls, from other guys, from anybody. He was born loving himself. You didn't know what he was or where he came from. He was exciting and miserable at the same time. Inside though, you could see that he didn't love himself as he should have. He was always trying to change. Making his black hair spiked blonde, making his brown eyes green. Working out to make his muscles bulge out. He was the one who made me try smoking with a cherry cigar. He said I would look so sexy... And he introduced me to so many things. At the time it seemed fun. I was a junior in high school and everything was so new and fun. He loved to get all ready. He was so metrosexual, at the time I didn't think anything of it. I loved to get ready too. Loved gorgeous clothes, loved doing my makeup, and loved exotic jewelry. He took pictures of me like a model and made me pose. We were in his basement most of the time by candlelight. We would talk until late at night and listened to music that you couldn't hear on the radio. Everything with him seemed so exotic and so different. I loved it at the time. Then came the lies, the cheating, the drugs, and everything else.

It was so innocent at first. It was my first love. I was open to anything. To be continued...


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    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 6 years ago

      Thank you epigramman and Cheeky Girl for your comments. :)

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      Aaah, pangs of love. We all experience that and we want it to last forever, and grow more. If only it would do that! Every precious second we spend with the one we love is so valuable, and it's human to want it to last. Great hub! I like that you write about romance so much! :)

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago write with such great feeling and sincerity and honesty - and thank you for taking the time to give me a royal endorsement of my humble little hubspace and coming from such a terrific writer like you really means a lot - such openess here with your words - you are searching in life and this is a journey I will take with you as you keep on writing ...... lake erie time ontario canada 4:39am