Sometimes Love Is Not Enough
Oh Dear, the Places We Wander..
It's been so long since we had a word or two. Death or change approaches; I know not which. I thought I'd drop a line just in case one of us is yanked out of circulation and the chance gets overlooked to extend this greeting.
I share your persistence quality. I hope you remember we spoke of this quality. At one time I thought I shared your intention for incarnating. Although that may still be true to some extent, that we had the same intention for incarnating here, it is so that you have developed an abrasive quality that makes physical contact with you an impossible force field to break through. I say this not in a judgmental way. I think I understand why this is so.
Although I have been able to touch you in the etheric fields on occasion and this remains as a divine intervention in my own mind, I have no idea of what kind of effect our meetings had upon you, being unable to approach the physical force field, perceived as a barrier, that has been in construction your entire life, and which you see as causing your rise to fame and fortune. I see your life as a double edged sword; fame cuts both ways.
I myself had need of such confirmation that I had indeed been successful in approaching you on a nonphysical, herein described as NP level and that some healing had taken place for you. I often found you to be in great upset and needing soothing. I had need of this confirmation that we had indeed met on the inner planes, through the verbal contact we made on the physical plane as I still doubted the effectiveness and truth of visiting on NP levels at the time of these occurrences.
What I received by way of confirmation was much colored by what your thoughts are of all women, myself included in those collective false images. It was of little use to my withering heart for this sort of business we undertake in the new age.
To speak of one's dreaming landscape only to be rebuffed time after time was not conducive to give me that confirmation that we had actually been together and spoken within NP, at the least, in short sentences to one another. Also there was, of note, instances where you heard my actual thoughts in your head, and I heard your tonal voice in inner auditory happenstance say 3 word sentences, while I was yet in my conscious waking mind.
This was a cause for alarm rather than assurance I was on the right track. I was certain of one thing that this was too weird to digest. I was alone in my exploration of what exactly was taking place, in this, shall we say the opening of the 3rd eye. To confound the matter, our brief physical communications rarely had the opportunity to discuss these paranormal happenings, as the topic veered off to other inanities, to my mind, and quite away from the topic I would have led you to, if I'd been allowed, for my confirmation purposes.
The necessity, as I saw it, for you to guard and protect the self image, grown much larger than my own, prevented an honest and open communication to occur.
I can understand that what you have achieved on earth is far more important than anything else I can think of, yet it still remains for myself, that a self image is an entirely disposable item, a tool, if you will to navigate the earth plane with and not the entire truth of who you are in your fullest capacity. Your name will go down in history archives, while I must remind you, you, your soul will be off somewhere else on another adventure perhaps in another solar system, or you could be taking your much deserved rest on a higher plane. Somehow I cannot see you taking any rest for very long in the event of your transition to NP areas.
As I see it, there is nothing to protect as God is surely in control no matter what appearance is presenting.
I shall not dwell upon your intense vibrations which cause such an affront to so many people. I rather concern myself with only my perceptions which can never be translated into knowledge unless my own soul, that part of God which never fails, be, so to speak sitting atop my shoulders and thus guiding. I assume, that is what is happening.
I return to the dream works which my soul has set up as an avenue in this life to adhere to, in getting through to my smaller, limited self, the ego, in order to bring me to greater awareness of our oneness with God, IE: heaven on earth concept.
I was, as we speak of physical, earthly connections, as concerning reality making potentials and possibilities, I was drawn to a place you had made on the Internet, to partake of conversation. I had received, prior communication, through a dream, you requested my presence on this board. You had placed a ring on my finger in this quite lively dream circumstance which I had tried on, then given the ring back to you, as it was too heavy, too bulky, and it was a man's ring.
As it turned out in reality, I stayed only briefly on your created website, for one reason, all the people had fled to my dismay. There was only you, myself, and a lady who seemed to have a yen for you, and I did not want to interfere with that yen in any way, but desired to correspond with the whole of the world, which is another type of relating where I can be at my finest.
We now had before us another opportunity to display ineffective communication, although I know this was your best effort to produce that place for your growth of who you really are, above and beyond the public personification and all the undue and uninvited attention you must continually be bombarded with.
I abruptly left and never responded back to your comment which came privately, and which I deleted without reading. However my avoidance of communicating with you on the physical levels forced you to contact me NP once more.
This gets easier as you go along...
Dancing In The Dark
I will not go into why I left your board unless it's to say, we both want to lead the conversation, into our respective focus point and I did not want to go where you were leading the topic. I do not believe life philosophies can be categorized quite as easily as we would like to think. I had trouble that you would present to us, a character whom quoted as such, aliens had removed his penis and handed it to him; the symbology which was obvious to me, I cannot go into here. Perhaps a later date I will.
You fully expected me to agree that within our life plans everything that can go wrong does go wrong. Yes, of course I get it. But that is a dead end thought, and as you must decipher by now, I am not dead yet and prefer to be creating of my own philosophy from reading everyone who takes my fancy, from my experiences, so on and etc. I did not get a good vibe from the material in other words. I did not see it as my duty to converse on the matter with you. If it had been an article penned by your own hand, then yes, I would have stayed to chat further.
Evidently you were crushed by my disappearance and came to me, within profound emotional upset, in a heap of despair, supported by your lady friend, I assume the gal on your board, who has good vibes btw, and there you were crying at my door, in the rain, no less. I brought you just inside the threshold with her help where you collapsed, exhausted on the floor. I was concerned about you. Of course, this experience made me rethink my own reactions of the way I always leave without saying goodbye.
It is because I am dying to the world and that may include a physical death. If I do not concentrate on just those items where my interests lie predominantly, I will fail my soul and have to return here to this God forsaken planet. Which, I must say, is changing for the better, but that was my viewpoint then.
So you have issues that you generate along your interests, and I am over here with my own focus on personal topics, such as it is. You need not take it personally, that I have left. You will understand our different ambitions, pertain to our shared trait of persistence.
I used to think, well, there he is, he owns the world and I want none of it!
As I looked back over the myriad experiences of interaction with you I found to my surprise how much I still liked listening to your speaking voice and your singing voice as well. In secret I applauded your success even though there is this nagging little voice that says you do not love yourself, nor love many others, to the extent that they try to tell you they love you. You take no notice.
I leave you knowing you will get this, sometime, somewhere. I leave knowing it's such a little bit of communication, when there was so much I would have liked to talk with you about. I suppose there's just been too many people who wanted to talk to you that you became ultimately with a crowded feeling. I know the feeling of being crowded with subject matter that is neither here, nor there. Just as you are impatient, I can take 2nd place in the impatient nominee category. I was to become, in the end just another figure in the crowd. Remember the grain of sand and think of our oneness and that this too shall pass.
We are connected. Yet, no, I am not your twin flame as I could hardly be that, as I don't believe in twin flames existing. It is like people will say we invented God to make us feel better. The same can be said about inventing the concept of twin flames; nice thought, but I have no evidence it is true. Now, on the other hand I know God is not a fabrication, because I did not make myself and you may recall I entered a room of Light which embraced me. That was God to me and remains the light I follow whenever I go dancing in the dark.
You may think of this as cosmically connected, which means we have to face it head on with fearlessness, whatever we have enacted in the past towards one another that is less than love like. It is a time for the clearing of negativity upon the earth. Then we shall truly be rid of our internal conflicts and peace on Earth will be apparent. Then my words, and your words will cease to ring in our heads and we can be about the business of bringing Earth into alignment with heaven. I am speaking of the entire population of Earth. Not just you and I. There will come a time it won't matter what website we're on; nor what supermarket you visit, nor what family you are born into, the communication will be PERFECT! I am up for that my brother.
All my love, Laughing Rain