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Sometimes You Have To Look In The Mirror And Support Yourself

Updated on July 2, 2010


I’m one of the lucky ones. I grew up doing theatre where I was accepted no matter who I was. I always knew my family loved me, never questioned it even for one day (even if my brother did tell me I was adopted and convinced me when I found my birth certificate that they change those to make the adopted child not “feel bad”). I have no huge tear filled coming out story, I simply told my parents. I have been with the same man for almost twenty-two years now and our parents have met and get along just fine. It’s Passover with my family and Christmas with his with very little drama. So I know how fortunate I am and I know that I have many people to “lean” on if the case be that I need to do some leaning but what I discovered recently was that even with all these people in my corner, there are times sometimes you have to look in the mirror and support yourself – Don’t Get Me Started!

Once again I defer to musical theatre writers who tend to write things that I feel just a bit better than me. In the musical Goodbye Girl (lyrics by David Zippel) the main character sings, “How can I win if I’m not on my side?” While this may seem as though it’s a sentiment we should all, all ready know (and maybe we do somewhere in our subconscious) there are many times when I forget this sentiment and I wish I didn’t.

I don’t know about all of the visualization techniques people talk about or even putting post-its about my mirror so that every morning I see, “Gosh you’re handsome today!” but I think that sometimes I look to others for what I should be finding inside myself. I want to see myself in someone else’s eyes because somehow that seems to give me more validity but the truth of the matter is that if you only look at yourself in the reflection of someone else’s eyes then you’re also giving everyone in your life a lot more power than they deserve or want really. It’s almost expecting too much of people and too little of you.

I admit that I have about as much right to give people psychological help as Dolly Parton in the movie, Straight Talk (am I the only one who can’t help but watch this when it’s on)? But I think my words will ring true for some people reading this somewhere out there in the Internetosphere. It’s sometimes stating the obvious that rings a bell in my head and since I have a blog I occasionally share my bell ringing with those who read me. “And if I were a bell, I’d go ding, dong, ding, dong, ding” (name that musical).

Recently I put myself in the running for the Oprah get your OWN show completion online. You need to submit a video (and if you’re reading this before July 3, 2010 – go vote - and a lot of the people in my life told me how great they all thought it was and they even clicked a few times and voted. But behind those faces I saw what they were thinking, “There are six gazillion people trying for this thing Scott, what makes you think you’ll get chosen?” I’ll admit that there was a part of me at one point that saw some of the other entrants with six million votes and/or views and I thought I was out of my mind in the first place for throwing my stylish hat into the ring. But then it came to me, “Why the hell not? Why the hell not me?” I don’t know that I’ll be chosen, I don’t know that the casting people will even watch my video but as I watched and voted for myself yesterday I realized that whether or not the gang looking at this audition video thinks I’m “worthy” I all ready know that I am. I came up with a great concept for a show that I know I can bring my unique talents and humor to creating an entertaining and informative show. I’ve won all ready because although it was looking at my video online, I was looking into the mirror of who I am and what I’m capable of becoming. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and support yourself – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • Updownside profile image

      Updownside 7 years ago from Southern California Coastal

      Damn Scott, I just watched your video and was late to vote! What a GREAT concept for a show. I hope you get selected, good luck!

    • Seakay profile image

      Seakay 7 years ago from Florida

      Ah yes, the mirror. That's where I go to look me in the eye and repeat "I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THIS!"

      After any set back, I find myself in front of that mirror. I know, sounds strange, yes? However, then I just look myself in the eye and LAUGH OUT LOUD! The best medicine!

      Good Hub! Thanks for sharing.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      EA - There was such a big smile on my face when reading your comments and then I came to the section where you told me to smile. Thank you for your continued support and may I just say I'm delighted to be part of morning Java AND anything pure sugar and a little "not good" for you! Thanks again and as always for being an earthly angel for so many of us!

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      MH - Congrats and well deserved. Any board would be lucky to have you!!! As I am lucky to have you as an online pal. I honor you and all you do and for knowing it!

    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 7 years ago

      Ahhhhh, a Krispy Kreme with my morning Scott and Java!! Those were the days!! Well I know Scott is still appreciative even if my thighs are not!!

      GREAT Hub Good Scott!! So glad you have decided to support and honor yourself the way many of us do already!!

      Flattery and praise are addictive - just like Krispy Kreme's!! Didn't KK go out of business??

      As to your Oprah Audition, I would be celebrating if I received nearly 10,000 votes already!! Those are solid votes from people who love and support you!!

      Not like the votes of some of the other contestants who made voting a competition unto itself!! Remember Ashton Kucher challenging 1,000,000 to follow him on Twitter??

      It's the 'herd mentality' and you are much too unique and gifted to be a part of the herd!! You can rest assure that Oprah and her team 'get it' as well!!

      We, with a bit of muturity and insight, know the difference between 'quality' and 'quantity!!" So does Oprah and her team!! There are no fools on that staff; they are looking at nearly everything!!

      You have every reason to like what you see in the mirror!! Next time you see yourself, give a big smile from YOU!! (And me too, of course!!)

      Blessings always, Earth Angel!!

    • MotherHubber profile image

      MotherHubber 7 years ago from Southern California

      Well, amen and hallelujah!

      Thank you so much for writing that, Scott. What a great reminder that even in our daily insecurities, the only validation we really need should come from within. It's so easy to forget this, especially when we're so programmed to do so much and please so many in our daily lives.

      Just this past week I received what I think is a pretty major honor (I was appointed to serve on a board of directors for a performing arts school - I had to interview with the current board members, and sell myself, and put an application of sorts together, etc. When I was voted in (unanimously!), even I was a little shocked. But why? Why should I have been? Maybe I sell myself short. Really need to stop that nonsense!

      Thank you for this. It was just what I needed to go with my morning coffee, instead of a Krispy Kreme. :)