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Soulmates or Soul Lessons

Updated on November 7, 2015
Ripton Scott via Wikimedia commons
Ripton Scott via Wikimedia commons

Many people go through relationship problems and they often are left wondering if the person they once envisioned as being their lifetime partner was a lesson or a soul mate. So I will explain how to know if the person you are currently with is your soul mate. The first thing to know here that a soulmate connection is an unspoken love. Meaning you don’t have to see affection, give affection, or show affection to feel the love. The person could be million miles away but you feel the bond that unites you. So here’s how you will know if the person you are with is not your soul mate.

  • No Trust – Being with your soulmate is a relationship full of trust from both parties. You should never have to question their trust because regardless of outside influences or conditions the trust is a solid part of your spiritual cords that bind you together. Here’s a question, if you had your soulmate behind you and they asked you to just fall back and they would catch you. Would you trust them and just do it? If you answered No, then something is off and you should review any insecurities you might have and work on healing that piece of your soul that needs trust.

  • Lack of Loyalty – Loyalty means you would never do anything to betray the trust of the other person. Loyalty is a huge factor in soulmates. They could be days, months, or years apart and are loyal to the person they are committed too. They will never give you a reason to question their loyalty to you and the relationship.

  • Secrets/Lies – Soulmates have no need for secrets. If you are keeping secrets in your closet from your loved one then it’s quite possible that this may not be your soulmate. You should feel totally comfortable being open with them about everything. An example, you can speak to another person with them being present. You have nothing to hide. Sure you enjoy your space and privacy and that should be given but for the most part you shouldn’t have to find out information by third parties. You also shouldn’t have to find out things years later that should have been told immediately.

  • Repetitive Arguments – Every couple will have healthy debates or arguments but make amends and move on. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone and arguments become the daily norm and often you’re the one left crying and hurt. This person may not be the soulmate at all. Soulmates will state their point of view but always find a resolution and balance to the inner peace needed for both individuals. They are not selfish.

  • Show Face – You shouldn’t have to put on a show or be uncomfortable to make your soulmate happy. If you find that you feel like you have a mask on or can’t be comfortable around them and their friends then this might not be the soulmate. Often people who are not soulmates will feel like they are from two different worlds.

  • Easily Influenced – True soulmates set boundaries to the external sources like friends and family. If family is whispering in your ear and showing no respect for the person you love, then you need to STOP this. If you acknowledge and side with external people outside your relationship than with your partner, then you might not be that person’s soulmate. Soulmates will always give the benefit of the doubt but will fight for their love and not get influenced easily.

  • Broken Communication – All lines of communication should be opened and easily accessible. If you feel like you cannot openly communicate with your partner or it often turns into a huge argument instead of a civil conversation between two adults then you might not be with your soulmate. You should always feel comfortable expressing how you feel and what you think.

  • Fear – You should only feel unconditional fear. If you are being abused verbally, emotionally, or physically then you should reconsider who you are with. True soulmates will never hurt one another in any kind of matter. Bullying or words spoken are often forgiven but never forgotten. Know your worth and move away from anything that strikes you with fear. Fear is a lower vibration and has no place in a spiritual and healthy relationship.

  • Spiritual Illness– If you are with your soulmate you will share the same spiritual beliefs and find healing with their words, touch, or embrace. True soulmates can heal one another in their own ways. You might find that after a long and stressful day at work you come home to your partner and you automatically feel better. The energy you both share is full of healing. You shouldn't feel sick being around your soulmate or ill from all the arguments and bickering.

  • Broken Promises – If you are with your soulmate and promises are being made but not kept, this may not be your soulmate. True soulmates will always keep their word and commitments. You will make time to be true to your word and take action. If your soulmate is telling you they will change but keep doing the same thing over and over, then they are not being true to themselves and obviously do not care about their love for you.

I could go further and keep giving many examples but I believe if you found that you are not compatible with 2 or more of these areas, you might need to reconsider what is going wrong in your relationship and what needs healing the most. Often it’s hard to break free from relationships when children are involved because many people don’t want the children to suffer. They often lose a piece of their soul by trying to stick it out and become miserable. This can have long term effects and what many don’t consider is that if this situation is stifling and arguments are daily, children are still being affected adversely. Most of all you are being affected. You can try to make things work out and see where this leads but if the person is not willing to change, then you might need move on. The hardest part is always letting go of what hurts you the most. Change is often scary but if you are not willing to change anything in your relationship then the same patterns keep repeating.

Some people will discover that the person they are with are actually soul lessons. These are individuals who come into your life to show us the things we do not want in a future partner. You learn the difficult lesson in life the hard way and it may take years but true happiness awaits. Coming out of a bad relationship you might find yourself vulnerable and afraid to trust another person. You need to heal those areas of your life before you can invite someone new in. Soul Lessons will develop you will know if you mastered that lesson by not choosing the same type of person as a partner. If you are on your 2nd relationship and still finding the same patterns you might have not learned all the lessons you needed to learn but will.

Soul lessons give us the courage we need to overcome future obstacles and not allow the same people to hurt that part of your soul again. Soulmates are two individuals with the same soul type and attract all the good qualities that last a lifetime. Sometimes your soulmate from a past life will also reincarnate and be the same soulmate in this lifetime. Soulmates will always find themselves again regardless of distance and time. Cherish your bond and let the spark of the divine unify you both. Blessings in love n light. x

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