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Splintered Love Troubling Signs

Updated on July 16, 2009

When I'm with a couple, and there are constant little put downs about the other. It can be just about anything but the message is clear, I am angry with you, I don't respect you, this relationship is the pits." It's also a cry for help to get  the partner to pay attention, to be kind or just hold my hand and pay me a compliment."

It's hard for young people to communicate at an honest and intellectual level what they want. they are afraid of hurting the other's feelings, or they will dis-please others in your unofficial group. group, If the relationship starts that way,up to the other and actually tell them you would like them to sit down so the two of you can communicate. when you sit down to talk, the object is to listen to the other, not interrupt and try to show how wrong they are.

It takes practice to listen as someone tells you what is turning them off. however, each of you should make a list with all the likes on one side and the dis-likes on the other. Make a contract before you sit down, together that you will hear the other out, and not get all involved fighting and spitting and trying to get even. This will never work. If your relationship is worth the love you have already put into it,  the exercise is worth doing. 

All right, maybe it's too hard the first time but keep at it. If that simple exercise is impossible to complete between you, you may need to see a therapist near your home. Most problems with unusual communication  may be cleared cleared up in a few visits. If something more complex is uncovered, the therapist will work the details out with you. Meanwhile, Don't forget to be loving to yourself. That's where destiny will take each of us in the end.

People don't need to fight. It isn't written in stone anywhere that a couple must disagree over money, sex, and fidelity, or infidelity

You have kept your love for this man who sort of acts like you are beneath. him anything is possible. Good luck, start a journal so you can see how you have progressed. Relationships are complex and hard to find and develop. Make it your goal to keep the relationship going. good luck. Keep up the writing.


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