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Staying Grudge Free When Someone Does You Wrong
Don't Let Feelings Control YouClick thumbnail to view full-size
People Can Hurt
Unfortunately in life, everyone will be let down, disappointed, heart broken or lied to by someone else. This is a sad but true fact of life. After we are hurt by someone else, there are some things we should do to protect us from bitterness or holding a grudge against the person.
There have been times in my life when I was utterly dumbfounded by what someone else had done to me. Since I was brought up with Christian parents, and am a Christian myself; I am unable to relate to this kind of treatment. In one instance, I somewhat went into shock. I replayed what happened over and over and over again in my mind. I just could not let what he or she did to me go.
Eventually I found myself angry, depressed, bitter and holding a big time grudge against that person. This is when I knew I had to do something about my feelings before I reacted in a not so nice way.
I am not a licensed professional, but I have learned through my experiences somewhat on how to handle my feelings after someone has done me wrong. Of course I do not always do the right thing; and I don’t always take my own advice. I have thought of a few helpful tips to help after someone has done you wrong before getting angry, bitter, and even before rage sets in.
Get Your Feelings Out On Paper
This technique was taught to me by my parents and has helped me numerous times. Since you can express your feelings this way, this will help with the stress and hurt from the situation. You can even get mean if you choose, and it is OK, because you will not send the letter. I have learned when doing this; your mind thinks you are really letting that person know how you feel. This is somewhat like tricking your brain. You will feel less stressed after you try this. Do not send the letter to the person! You should tear it up and throw it away. Sending what you wrote to the person will most likely make things worse. I have done this also, so I am speaking from experience.
Vent To Someone ONCE
Confiding in a friend has helped me talk out the hurt and anger. This also kept me from going insane from the play over in my head. You may just need to be listened to, reassured you were hurt and reassured what the person did to you was wrong. Be careful though, to choose your words, depending on whom you are talking to. There are two reasons I say to talk to someone about the situation only once. The first is because the person who you are talking to may get tired of hearing of it, and this may bring him or her down also. The second reason is for you. If you keep talking about what happened, your hurt is just going to stay fresh in your mind. We want to move on, not keep dwelling on it; remember?
Look Up Or Read Funny & Positive QuotesClick thumbnail to view full-size
Help Someone Else
Focus On The Positive :)
Staying positive may be difficult, but it is do-able. You can keep the positive in your life by listening to positive music. Music always can soothe the soul when listening to the right kind. Some songs to listen to are:
- Happy- Pharrel Williams
- It's A Great Day To Be Alive- Travis Tritt
- It's A Beautiful Day- Michael Bublé
- Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)- Kelly Clarkson
Another way to stay positive is to look up positive quotes. Some people, like myself are visual. When I read something or look at pictures this will trigger happy or sad stimulants. Since we are trying to get over the hurt, I suggest looking at quotes and pictures which are positive.
It’s Not All About ME??
Try to get your mind off of “YOU”. Yes, of course you were hurt bad, but let’s stop thinking about “ME” for a while and focus on someone else. Do things for another person. How about a friend who is sick? You can send them a positive email, text, or even call them. If you are religious, say prayers for others who are hurt or ill. Look online where you are able to volunteer for local community activities or groups. Thinking and doing things for others during this time will work wonders for your anger and bitterness. Pretty soon you won’t even remember what happened. Well, the situation may pop in your head, but you will be so busy doing things for others, it will pop right back out.
Forgive? Really, After What They Did!?
Sometimes forgetting about what happened is easy; but forgiving, well that is another story. Forgiving someone who has hurt you can be very difficult. We may be able to forget how bad they hurt us with tips and talking, but forgiving is the hardest part. Maybe you are not ready to forgive them yet, and that’s okay. Everyone is different, and so is every situation. Forgiving someone sometimes can take months, years, and unfortunately maybe not at all. If you are not able to forgive them yet, don’t feel bad. This is normal, but don’t start dwelling on how you can’t forgive them.
Maybe You Can Forgive Someday
You Are Going To Be Alright
Even though you were hurt, everything will be alright. I learned the hard way when losing a friend after what they did that life still goes on. You need to think about if they were really your friend or cared about you, they wouldn't have treated you this way in the first place. Try to get your mind off of what happened between you and the other person. Dwelling on what happened will make you miserable, and it will not help anything. If you just can not get over the hurt, there are chat groups, forums, and even licensed therapists to get your feelings out. Being hurt by another whether an ex boyfriend, friend, or relative can be sometimes very hard to take. I am listing some websites to go onto for further help. Remember to focus on the positive in your life as much as you can. Positiveness will help you from holding that dreadful grudge!
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