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Staying Single In the 21st Century

Updated on September 30, 2012

History of Relationships

Since the dawn of time, people have formed relationships for reasons of survival ala hunter and gatherer societies. As more modern and civilized societies evolved it was less obvious the reasons why people formed relationships.

During the 18th Century, relationships were formed with certain main goals. For women relationships were formed to secure shelter, money, and social status. For men relationships were formed to pass down property and continue the family line with marriage being only acceptable framework for having children. However, towards the end of the 18th Century the reasons to enter into relationships evolved.

With the introduction of Samuel Richardson’s novel Pamela, marriages for love began to blossom. The pen was truly mightier then the sword as pages upon pages of prose and romance flooded society. From Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice to Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre, women’s needs began to involve the idea of love within marriage.

Two Is Better Than One

People have always naturally felt the need to find a partner. The ever popular “two is better than one” mentality pushes us to take risks when dealing with relationships, but are these risks dangerous to our sanity?

I often hear tales of “he done me wrong” followed by “I should have known better.” Why do we throw ourselves into these relationships?

We need to FEEL. We long for love and a connection to another person to validate our own desires to feel important, remembered, and loved. It doesn’t matter whether we feel love, lose, anger, or rage. We simply need to feel. We are programmed to love and seek love no matter the cost.

Why Stay Single

In a society filled with the need to form relationships, why do certain people still cling to their singlehood? What does it mean to be single?

There are many reasons given for staying single. Some of these reasons include enjoying independence, fear of commitment, refusal to settle for certain standards, and the need of additional self-discovery. To be single is truly a matter of dignity and self respect in many cases. Once you have decided to wait for a soul mate everything else pales in comparison.

My advice: Keep waiting. There is a match for everyone.


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    • LightInDarkness profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Smyrna, Tennessee

      Thundermama, so many singles nearing 30 yrs. old upon seeing friends get married get the "itch" to settle down. Don't get me wrong in that I still "pine for a mate," but I am at peace with myself and my choices in life. It's okay to be single. I pray your children follow your good example.

    • Thundermama profile image

      Catherine Taylor 

      6 years ago from Canada

      Short, sweet and to the point. I enjoyed this hub and although I am happily married, wish that being single would have been presented as a viable option to me so I didn't waste my single years pining for a mate. Now with three children of my own I am trying to let them know that being single is a good choice too. Voted up!

    • The Invincible profile image

      Hitesh Bubbar 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Pretty interesting stuff. That's all I would say..

    • Rosalinem profile image


      6 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      The ending is perfect, I enjoyed reading the hub. voted up.


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