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Step up and Be the Girlfriend You Are, Not the Wife You Are Not

Updated on December 27, 2017

“Heal a scar through love and emotion. That’s what they say. Time heals every scar. Some say so. I say this is a new start for me or rather for my unending tangled love story. Just as I had managed to convince myself that I would never fall in love again, like a miracle, my beloved walks back straight into my life as if he had never even left. I don’t know how to chew on this. I can’t put myself in this situation again, but I still love him.” Girls it’s time to step up and go for what we want, it’s time to say no that toxic relationship you’ve wanted to come out of for so long. Because we are ladies and we can’t let men step on us and prevent us from being who we are. This is the article that is going to tell you how to walk away or make him see you for who you are. How you gonna flip your hair and shout “I ain’t your mama.”
Stop being his maid.
Girl, if he likes it, he’s gonna put a ring on it and if he hasn’t yet I don t see why you should hurt your fingers with his laundry. You are too pretty to act wife when you are supposed to be the girlfriend. Stay away from the chores, or he is never going to take you seriously. That’s a fact.
Don’t move in with him.
I know how romantic moving in with your boyfriend is but sister that’s like he is marrying you before the wedding. The next thing you are pregnant and then a mother before ever being a wife. Ladies, don’t compromise, we know you love him but don’t let that blind you. But if you wanna move in, remember you are the girlfriend, not the wife.
Go out more often.
You are the boss of you, and clearly, you need some alone time with your girlfriends. If you stop hanging out with your girls at twenty what are you going to do when you are forty. Go out, have fun don’t miss out on your twenties because you were busy playing wife with your boyfriend. You will never get back those years, so get up and go to that club, dance your twenties out after all he isn’t the only one allowed to have some fun with his friends.
Dress up.
That is what you should always do. Be classy and sassy every wake of the day. Put on those hills and that dress that brings out your curves and is decent at the same time. Let him wish he had you for life. Let him know what he has, and if he doesn’t man up, he is gonna lose it quick.
Ladies, we are the masters of ourselves. Don’t let any man dictate how you are going to spend your time and money. If he won’t like you after you step up and be who you are, then he doesn’t love you at all, and that’s your cue to leave. A man should love you for who you are, especially if you are confident enough to start making decisions for yourself.

© 2017 Natasha


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      12 months ago

      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself...

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us has our mate selection process/must haves list.

      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".

      If you go to the grocery store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No!

      You learn to be a "better shopper"!

      Lets face it the only thing all of your failed relationships have in common is (you). Believe it or not a lot of women chase after the "bad boys" because they want the "challenge" of trying to get him to "change" and when that doesn't happen they blame him and not themselves for knowingly choosing a guy who isn't what they want. Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

      The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want!

      "This is the article that is going to tell you how to walk away or {make him see you for who you are}."

      If you have to "make him see" or (train him) then he's not the man for you!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

      Ideally you should choose someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another. Compatibility trumps compromise.

      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!

      Anyone who is having one bad relationship after another probably needs to (reexamine their mate selection criteria).

      Another reality check is most men don't start thinking about marriage until they're close to age 30 or beyond.

      Therefore any woman in her late teens and 20s dating guys (their same age) may have unrealistic expectations and thereby setting herself up for heartache and disappointment.

      The majority of weddings that take place today are between couples who have lived together. Too often people are looking for a "reason" why men don't propose.

      There are basically two reasons why men don't propose.

      1. Timing (They have other priorities/don't feel ready yet)

      2. You are not "the one"!

      Oftentimes women and men have a chip on their shoulder and there's way too much animosity between them.

      Anytime you're thinking in terms of (you & me) and not (us & we) you're heading towards an eventual breakup.

      A relationship/marriage is a "partnership".

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      The choice is up to us!

      One man's opinion! :)

    • LimeyFeline profile image


      12 months ago

      As someone who was in a committed partnership for over 10 years before actually getting married, much of this wouldn't have made sense to me back then. We definitely lived together before marriage, in fact it was a requirement for me. If not, how were we supposed to know we'd be compatible? During cohabitation we split chores equally. Laundry, food, cleaning, you name it. So I guess what you say about staying away from chores is not actually a fact for every single relationship, especially ones that share responsibility.

      That being said, I definitely agree with going out more and not having your entire life revolve around your partner. This is healthy and should continue even after you have agreed to commit/get married!


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