Why Expect So Much of Others Who Can Not Live Up to Pleasing You?
A strong belief that someone will or should achieve something is Google's definition of what is going on inside those who lay a lot of this on someone they believe in, trust, and honor as a capable and reliable soul. What they do not realize is that is unfair to everyone around them who has this placed upon their heads.
An expectation is nothing more than an opinion of what you think should be happening. When it falls short of what you want to see, you feel as if everything went belly up. Truth is, you set yourself up for mental failure.
Walking around without knowing that you are believing someone else should perform to your mindful thoughts, is a sure-fire way of watching people have less trust in you.
The side effects that someone feels when they see your disappointment is usually huge. From feeling like they failed you, to questioning even their own abilities. Nothing shy from mental exhaustion for everyone involved.
They Do Not Even Know
It took me to stop, take a step back, and watch myself to see what I was expecting of others around me. From my kids to my mother, and even from myself. Most of what I thought should happen, was out of reach of reality. The goals to success planted way to high. I set everyone up for failure. All within my own mind.
Knowing someone's character and how they function in their everyday life, only to turn and place something on them that you have never seen them portray, is wrong on every level. This has to stop. You are going to have a heart attack with the stress you are creating.
The day will arrive when you have lost too many to count who use to trust in your thinking abilities. People who now see you as not having their best interest at heart. With no one else to turn to, all expectations will then fall upon you. Perhaps then is when the brighter reality will shine down upon you, and there will be time to fix broken relationships.
Yes! They exist. Here are some examples.
1. We expect the people in our lives to be honest.
2. We expect our children to apply themselves in school.
3. We expect help with the chores in the family home.
4. We expect our boss to pay each week.
We All Have Expectations
Having expectations is not a bad thing. As long as they stay within the normal range of daily happenings. As mentioned above, the children in school are expected to apply all they can to their school work to better educate them for the world. But the keywords here are "apply all they can". Not apply above and beyond what they are capable of. If your child is not gifted, why would you expect your 2nd grader to be doing 4th-grade work?
Sports. Where Expectations Flourish.
Surely you can already see the parents I am speaking of. Coaches, too. Yes, sports is an expectation game where winning is the over all-purpose but when people boo the player because they missed the goal ... sorry ... that is way too much expectation you place on them without taking into effect that maybe the wind played a role. Perhaps a bug flew into their mouth. The possibilities of why they disappointed you are long. The first biggest being is the one within your own mind.
Tone It Down
If you want to stroke yourself out with false hopes, you are entitled to that. To raise someone else's blood pressure is unacceptable mental abuse.
There is no one telling you to not have expectations. Heck, even I have them. What needs to happen though is learning to fight off all the unwarranted expectations. Instead, turn to the levels that are within successful possibilities. I mean, would you join the military to become a nuclear biological chemical warfare specialist knowing your abilities lie within the field of truck driving?
Go Easy On Yourself
If you are an expectation giver, maybe take a week off? Challenge yourself to lessen the load on yourself and those around you. See how mentally relaxing can influence those around you to strive for higher goals. Not expectations.