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Stop Being Jealous

Updated on December 21, 2015

Jealousy

Jealousy leads to problems in a relationship when you do not have any, some people are naturally jealous because they are insecure with themselves or within a relationship. If you find yourself having jealous feelings when there is no reason to then you should consider you may have a problem. Jealousy can ruin a good relationship when you let it interfere, especially when your partner has done everything correctly and not given you any reason to feel this way. This is when you know the problem is yours and you need to work on it.

Is is hard enough finding someone that you like enough to want a relationship with, then you have to wonder if this is the one for you. Many times I have asked myself "is this the one" for me only to be left guessing. If you are lucky enough to find that person do not ruin it by letting past experiences effect it.

Trust

This comes from not trusting your partner and develops for many reasons, the most common is related to maturity. If you are not mature enough to trust your partner then you will have issues in the relationship that are more serious then jealousy. You could have been hurt by another and now have problems trusting, maybe you were raised in a household where trust was scarce and you never learned how to trust. Trust is hard to establish and even harder to repair if it is damaged, when you are building a new relationship you have to take the person at their word until they show you different. If they are able to be trusted and you still feel jealous then maybe the issue is your and you are projecting it upon them.

Couple happy together
Couple happy together | Source

Trust In A Relationship

Trust is needed in any relationship, however it becomes most important when you are in or building an intimate relationship. It is hard to trust if you have been hurt and being hurt many times creates a pattern that leads you to not trusting anyone. At some point you need to handle your feelings about this because you need to trust some people and your partner especially. If you want to find happiness and be part of a loving relationship then you need to trust without any doubt, I know this sounds like more pain coming your way and you may be right. To be in a relationship you need to take that chance though, and it is not fair to judge the new person in your life for your past mistakes in judgment for getting involved with people that hurt you.

Communication

This can help you to build a quality relationship and is needed in a good relationship of any type, by having good communication skills you can build a trusting relationship between two people. When you talk to your partner and inform them of everything that goes on you should not have any trust or jealousy issues. I believe in being proactive and handling things before they arise or grow to massive proportions, this enables two people to work together and compromise on common goals.

Compromise

Compromise is also important and is needed in any relationship, it has to be done by both parties and it will not work if the same person does the compromising every time. These things need to be discussed and worked out by both of you at all times.

Relationship Qualities

Needed
Hardest
Easiest
Average
TRUST
Yes
No
No
Communication
Yes
No
Yes
Compromise
No
NO
Yes
Faith
Yes
No
Yes
Source

Cheating

When two people sneak off for a secret meeting you are asking for trouble because nothing good will come of it, you may think you are going to talk but when your hormones start to excite you there are too many things that can happen.

By not placing yourself into a harmful situation you can avoid doing something you regret that hurt's someone you love. Many people have already made the decision to cheat before it actually happens, this gives people the right to feel jealous. Once you are hurt it becomes harder to trust and you see cheating in people that are not capable of it.

What Is This?

Source

Evidence

The thing about being unfaithful is that you will always leave some kind of evidence to get caught, even when you think you are being careful your jealous cohort may want you to him/herself and leave a little something to be found and speed up the process of you becoming single.

No matter how careful you are something will always happen, I have never done it because I know I could not live with the feelings I had of hurting the person I am with. Every time I would look into their eyes I would know what I done and eventually I would tell because I could not live with the deception anymore.

Bad Behavior

The act of cheating is what causes many to feel they are being cheated on when in fact they have met an honest and loyal person that loves then dearly. Once you are burned by a cheater is becomes hard to trust another person, you may take the chance to find love but somewhere in the back of your mind you know the possibility of this happening and you being hurt again is there.

Have You Ever Cheated?

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Arguing

Man and woman fighting
Man and woman fighting | Source

Arguing

When you argue often in a relationship you run the risk of driving your partner away and maybe into the arms of another to find what is now lacking in your relationship. Good communication is the best way to ensure you will not argue over anything, when you discuss things and work them out as mature adults you greatly improve the chance you marriage will last.

Speaking for myself, I do not want to be fighting all the time. One of the things about being with someone is enjoying their company and the time you have together.

Save Your Relationship

When you have something worth fighting for you better do just that, in this day and age it is getting harder to find that special person that will stick by your side. To ruin this relationship by accusing them of something because you are jealous is just wrong, work on your issues and be thankful you have that person.

Work at communicating and saving your relationship because it is special and well worth saving, especially if it is your insecurities that are putting it at risk. Any type of friendship or relationship takes work, and it takes two people to compromise and work together. Hold on to the good friendships at all costs, they are becoming scarce now a days.

© 2015 Vince

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    • Ngozi Ebubedike profile image

      Ngozi Ebubedike Ahumibe 13 months ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      "in this day and age it is getting harder to find that special person that will stick by your side." Exactly, getting a trustworthy partner is becoming a mirage.

      Values of good relationship is fast disappearing. trust is becoming a scarce commodity and doesn't come easy again.

      Jealousy is really is an act of insecurity in a relationship which often arise as a result of lack of trust.

    • profile image

      Christine 2 years ago

      What if your boyfriend is getting, and possibly responding to, texts from a female "friend" who wants more than a friendship from him? If he is not doing anything to stop this attention, isn't that a valid reason to feel jealous? I know if I was receiving inappropriate texts from a male "friend" and my boyfriend was uncomfortable or jealous by it, I would immediately put a stop to it. If I didn't do that, then I feel that I am encouraging this "friend" and giving false hope for a relationship that may never exist in the future.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      Much of jealousy and insecurity can also be tied to the fact that the individual can't believe someone finds them worthy enough to love and only want to be with them! Therefore they're constantly trying to prove themselves right.

      As you mentioned oftentimes this is a lesson they learned from a previous relationship in which they were betrayed/cheated on.

      Now they "Trust no one" which means they "love no one".

      The easiest time for us to fall "in love" is the first time.

      Afterwards with each failed relationship we become more guarded and less trustful. In essence we've learned to allow people to demonstrate their honesty and integrity (over time) before letting down our guard.

      Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.

      However when one makes accusations or enters into a jealous rage every time their mate smiles, or is kind to others, or spends time with their family and friends it's an act of abusive manipulation to control their mates actions. Sometimes people stay with jealous partners to their detriment.

      Now and then you see someone whose light has been extinguished by their mate. They're constantly walking on egg shells, averting eye contact with strangers, making sure they don't smile or laugh in such a way that may be construed as flirting. They do their best not do anything to cause they mate to erupt . Essentially they become zombies or a shell of themselves.