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How I Stopped Playing The Fool

Updated on December 24, 2015
word55 profile image

Author of (Love Is Our Law) poetry book, songwriter, firefighter, real estate broker, College Instructor. 3 songs released. Yet to marry.

Everybody Plays The Fool

Playing The Fool

I finally told myself that I needed to stop playing the fool.

When it used to come to relationships I would begin and end up playing the fool. Of course, looking forward to having sex was the major determining factor with whom I pursued. Why? Like most men, all of my life I had a constant sexual appetite. I’ve always been a sucker for a pretty face, medium to long hair, nice size legs, nice pointed boobs, shapeliness, nice hands/feet and of course a nice behind but I didn’t care for long nails because I always admired a good shoulder and back massage from my mate. Race, or nationality did not matter.

I Cheated My Own Heart Out Of Love


I Used To Undress Women

A good woman comes from all kinds of races and nationalities. Kissing has no color and neither does any other attraction. Again, I always thought that I was different for some reason but most men felt and did the same things that I did. Yes, I used to undress women anywhere; whether they were on the street, at the malls, church, restaurants, weddings and etc. I didn’t know how not to undress them. However, I always respected them. How could I have expected to go into a serious relationship of love to marry?

I Treated Her With Top Notch Class

I was always impressed with the woman that I was with. We would do all the things that people who thought they were in love would do. We went to movies; eat outs, gatherings and other functions. We would exchange quality gifts during holidays and special occasions. Another important thing to point out was a lack of attending church together. I look back at the fact that we weren’t as committed spirituality as much as we should have been.

Don’t Call Me “Player”

Somehow, I would resent being called the word “player” simply because I didn’t consider myself one but when you fail to settle down or when you’re seen occasionally with a different mate by people who notices your lifestyle you may be characterized as a player especially by my associate buddies. What else could I expect to think of myself as? Nothing much. All of my life, I’ve been playing the fool. I had been cheating myself out of true love.

How I Played The Fool

The thought that I was getting over by seeing different women and sowing my wild oats has left me feeling guilty. I thought that things were going so well but I neglected the real concerns and those concerns were to preserve my life for a good future. When a man chooses a woman to be his bride she should submit herself as mentioned in the scriptures and cater to his every need. He should be willing to do very much the same if not more.

I Played The Fool On Myself

I played the fool for all the past of my life. I could not blame any of the women that I had been in relationships with. Surely, as I got older I realized why I was not yet married. Apparently, I had never put any real value into a relationship. I had the nerve to think that I could always find someone better than the person I had. Thinking like that is a major hindrance and mistake. For some reason I thought I needed more women before I would throw in the towel and settle down. That was foolish thinking. Now is time to claim what is mine.

Life Catches Up To You

Today, I wonder what do the experiences that I’ve had add up to. I’ve partied, drank, made money, hung out and enjoyed life. In order not to feel foolish at this point in life, the time has come to take the next relationship to the alter. Yes, everybody plays the fool whether someone uses you or worst yet you use yourself. It would take prayer and sincerity to end up with someone to fulfill most if not all the qualities that I look for in a mate and settle with. Then there’d be no more playing the fool.

I Maintained The Good Qualities

It is not good to play or gamble with your feelings, let alone another’s serious feelings because you can reap what you sowed. How many guys are out there that wish they had been more loyal and loving enough to a lady that they had lost. I can avoid reaping what I have sown because I did the damage to myself. All I would need to do is get my priorities in order, get a good woman in my life while in my prime and still have the desire to give good love. Fortunately, I've maintained all the good qualities that I've ever had and dropped the bad ones. I can always be my good self, my spiritual self. It doesn't cost me anything. It's the best thing that I ever let happen. So, how I stopped playing the fool? I sincerely was born again and finally let go of myself and let God overrule my life according to His Will.

Why Should I Waste Good Love Making?

I felt that I should not waste good love making on someone that I don't love or that does not love me as a wife. There is no reason to prolong my goodness for someone special. I want to tell someone, how much I love them so, while I have all this good love energy. Often, men burn up so much of this energy playing to please too many women and losing their oats along the foolish way.

Watch Your Step Brothers


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    • Besarien profile image

      Besarien 2 years ago

      We all have to make mistakes to learn the hard lessons that life is teaching. When you finally learn something say "Hallelujah, I don't have to do that again!" and go on to the next lesson which hopefully doesn't hurt as much or take as long. That is my approach, anyway. Don't beat yourself up because eventually you might learn to like it. Instead treat yourself like you would your bestie and forgive all your past failings while concentrating on loving what's best about you now. Then somebody else can too.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Hey Au Fait, thank you for stopping by and giving such a wholesome comment. You are so right. You have set it even straighter :-)

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 3 years ago from North Texas

      When people choose a mate by shallow standards, whether it's a man influenced entirely by looks or a woman influenced entirely by bank account, I feel they get what they deserve. They have their shallowness in common. I think it's great when they find each other.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Hi Dana, I applaud your response. I appreciate your understanding as well. Men just don't know how much they short change themselves just to please such a passion. Settling for temporary passion is foolish, as they hurt someone that loves them, in the meantime. They can't see it while they're in it. If a guy wants to be real with his lady, I recommend that guys listen to

      Jeff Lorber featuring Karyn White "Facts Of Love."

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 3 years ago from LOS ANGELES

      It takes a strong man to admit the things you admit in this article. There are many men who have made this mistake and still continue to make the same mistake on trading a passionate affair for something real. I dated someone for years and I walked away when I realized I couldn't be everything he wanted me to be in order to be " deemed worthy" he was chasing a dream because no one is perfect but there is someone perfect out their for you. The bible says he that finds a wife finds a good thing. Eventually you will find her, if you haven't already.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Yes MsDora, past experiences get us to where we are today. Thank you. Be blessed!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      I share Jodah's sentiment. Seems that you have come a long way, and are ready to live by the wisdom you have gained. The very best to you, going forward.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Thank you Liz for stopping by. Blessings to you.

    • Elizabeth Bowers profile image

      Elizabeth Bowers 3 years ago from Tennessee

      Great Hub illustrating what love and relationships - with other people and with God - are all about! Thank you for this heartfelt hub!

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Hey Jodah, thanks for stopping by and for the sound advice. Yes, the past is gone, Just wanted to let you know how I got to where I am. I'll check out your hub too.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      It takes a big man to admit his mistakes in life,but as long as you have learnt from them and realise where you went wrong you can move on. Don't dwell on the past word. Now you are ready to make up for all that. I wrote a hub called "Never Dally in the Field of Vain Regret". It may be relevant here.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Your comment is so on point DDE. Thank you for understanding.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      There comes a time when you got to give in and move on. Life is based on great experiences and the not so great ones.