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Study To State That Gay Parents Make More Gay Kids Than Straight Parents But The Question Is What’s Wrong With That?

Updated on May 9, 2011

I just finished reading about a study done by Walter Schumm of Kansas State University that makes the claim that gay parents are more likely to raise gay kids than straight parents. At first, I rolled my eyes, wondering if perhaps this professor was someone who wanted to create a study to slam gays, let’s face it, when we gays read these headlines that’s always our first thought and I don’t care what anyone tells you our defensives go up higher than the Great Wall so instead of getting defensive as I read the article I started acknowledging how I was reacting to it in my head and wondering why. I started thinking about how we’re all conditioned. In a way, gay parents want to prove that they can raise “normal” kids who are just as likely to be gay or straight as straight parents but what I began to wonder is why we fight so hard to say we can raise straight kids? After all, most of us did not grow up with gay parents and we turned out to be gay. The history of gays in America has gone from living a completely closeted life through our “we’re queer we’re here” phase and gradually (and laws willing) soon we’ll see more laws that include us as equal members of society that the generation before us couldn’t even have ever dreamed of so why with us preaching from every outlet and pore on our body that we have available to us, why are we still treating straight children (or raising straight children) as the holy grail? Study to state that gay parents make more gay kids than straight parents but the question is what’s wrong with that? – Don’t Get Me Started!

Don’t let the current news coverage of gay kids committing suicide after being bullied cloud your judgment, trust me, gay, straight, tall, short, fat, skinny kids have been bullied since the world began and while I wish it didn’t exist, I think that the current technology and the fact that once I post this on the Internet I will never be able to take it back has caused a new brand of bullying that we definitely need to address and is much more damaging to the psyche than being told by a bully to meet them at 3 o’clock to get your ass kicked on the playground. Shouldn’t our ultimate lesson to our kids and their kids (and goal for our own future) be to stop worrying about everyone looking and thinking like us and begin to regard the world’s diversity as a blessing and not a curse? Wouldn’t that ultimately put bullying out of business?

As the elections draw near and I hear the campaigns that focus on telling everyone to fear the illegal immigrants or the gays who want to harm your marriage and military strength or even the thinly veiled anger that there’s a black man in the White House and parties are popping up to basically “put him in his place” (or the place where they think all people of color should be, beneath the group they belong to) eventually returning white to the White House, it seems to me that we’re creating exactly what tears society apart the most. It’s isn’t the straights or gays, it isn’t the Republicans, Tea Party or Democrats alone it’s all of us who perpetuates the myth that we are “normal” and everyone must look, think and do exactly like us and those who do not must be feared and kept living beneath us so as to not disturb the balance of the universe. We’re all wrong when we do that and we’re all guilty of doing that to a certain degree.

I’m not saying it should be the goal of parents who are gay to encourage their kids to be gay but my question is so what if kids who are raised in gay homes eventually identify as gay? If you want to live your life according to the bible and how you or your church have interpreted passages from it to mean that you shouldn’t be gay, I should be fine with that as long as you don’t impose your beliefs on me or my family. As long as I can live my life according to my beliefs (which happens to be that I was born gay and have created a productive and happy life by sharing my life with another man) being treated equally as straights in the eyes of the law then society begins to flourish and welcome diversity instead of fear it. My life is no more or less valid than a straight person, a Christian person, Hindu person, etc. So why do we by in large have to “prove” that gays can raise straight children? What’s wrong if they end up gay? The answer should be, “nothing is wrong with raising gay children.” (After all, straight people have been doing it for years)

Just because gays get married or our children might tend to also identify as gay it doesn’t mean that civilization will crumble or there will be no more generations of children for the rest of all time. Give yourselves some credit straightees, there will always be enough straights to populate the world (and go on Maury to find out who the father of their child is I fear). But as long as we continue to perpetrate the myth that being white is better than being black or straight is better than being gay or whatever you want to fill in the blank with, we’ll continue to do ourselves and our society a disservice. So while some may see this study and feel vindicated, thinking it proves gays shouldn’t raise kids, what I see is that we all need to do some more work on what we think makes a good kid and eventually a good adult (and that includes us gays). I’m a believer that if you grow up in a loving environment you’re more likely to be loving so if someone wants to assert that if you grow up in a gay environment you’re more likely to be gay , then I should be willing to accept their opinion and not be afraid of it or defensive about it if they’ve done their due diligence and proper research. (Doesn’t mean I have to agree with it but I should respect their opinion). I was a gay kid and though I may have had it tougher than some kids growing up, I turned out to be fabulous probably in part because I was a gay kid and was teased, etc. and isn’t that the most important thing? Seems to me we should spend more time worrying about the fact that our kids are obese and not learning instead of worrying about who they end up making their life with once they’re adults. And isn’t one of the most important things our kids should learn is to keep their eyes on their own paper and feel good about themselves so they’ll be less likely to fear or try to damage people who don’t think and look exactly like them? You may say that I’m a dreamer…but I’m not the only one.

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    • bassgodjimmy profile image

      bassgodjimmy 6 years ago from New Jersey

      I have gay fathers and im a heterosexual girl, but i also know a kid who is gay and has gay fathers and blames it mostly on them. I doubt its the fact that you have two dads or two moms though

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Thanks MM - for always reading and sending your support and thoughts!

    • profile image

      Molly's Mom 7 years ago

      You have a wonderful mind.

      I love reading each word you write.

      Great job Scott.

    • MPG Narratives profile image

      Marie Giunta 7 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      They've actually spent time on a study to show that gay parents bring up gay kids - seriously can't they spend money on more important issues like tackling world famine or decreasing our pollution levels (just a couple of major issues).

      Kids who are loved grow up into healthy human beings regardless of their sexuality. There are good and bad parents everywhere regardless of their sexuality. A study is not going to change that.

      A family is made up of people who love each, they may have their differences but in the end it's love that keeps them together.

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

      People need to stop caring about who marries who, and who their kids are. People should be allowed to be who they are, even if Rand Paul does not feel that way.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      earnestshub, Thank you so much for your comments, I couldn't have said it any better. I completely agree with you - tolerance, education and love. Thanks again.

    • earnestshub profile image

      earnestshub 7 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Well thought out and presented. You make some very good points here.

      I'm hetrosexual, my gay friends have mostly straight kids. They are all very tolerant of their children's sexuality as they are educated and broadminded.

      On the other hand, a friend of one of my grandchildren is staying with another all straight family after being thrown out of home at 16 when she came out as homosexual.

      Tolerance, education and love are all any of us need in my view.

      Nice hub.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      EA - As always a pleasure to find that I have a comment waiting from you. You make me think more than a person should in the morning, I think. Oops, there I go.

      I just wish that we (including myself here) didn't think that we knew what was best all the time because sometimes we have no freaking clue. That's why we need others to challenge our points of view and help us to continually re-think our take on things.

      Thanks again for the great comments.

    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 7 years ago

      Good Morning Great Scott!

      GREAT Hub!! I read it twice while enjoying my before-sunrise java!! You bring up many valid points!! Kicks my brain into gear and reminds me to be proactive about increased awareness and independent thinking on all levels!

      I have dear friends who would be considerd open-minded and aware on most levels! And then comes an unexpected comment from them, 'glad my child is not ___________!'

      Many debates with me have followed on the tails of such nonsense! If people have beliefs systems, whatever they may be, I am eager to learn how they came about them! I don't have all the answers; maybe I have missed something along the way! Enlighten me!

      Unfortunately, most people have given up their ability to think independently - and our conversations deteriorate rather quickly into 'well that's how I was raised!'

      In this world of hate and violence why would anyone turn away from love?? Does it matter what equipment anyone is packing in their pants or under their skirt??

      Martin Luther King, Jr. famously said in his 'I Have a Dream' speech that people should be judged by the quality of their character and not the color of their skin! This should hold true for the sexes as well!

      As you stated clearly, gay or straight parents are going to raise gay or straight kids - Does is matter as long as the kids are loved, cared for and grow into decent loving human beings??

      We really all need to wake up and realize that our similarities far exceed our differences! That skin color, sexual orientation, religious beliefs are all just human-constructs meant to divide and control!

      We really all need to wake up and take back our ability to think independently and not buy into the social 'herd mentality!'

      We really all need to wake up and stop hiding our dysfunctional feelings behind politically correct sentences and instead deal/heal with the nonsense we may have inherited from less enlightened parents!

      Love comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and flavors! When we turn away from one form of love, it closes us off to others!

      Thanks for the morning share Scott!!

      You are the BEST!!

      Blessings Always, Earth Angel!