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Charming Subterfuge

Updated on November 13, 2014

What you see is not always what you get...

Psychopath-sociopath, pathological liar, it doesn't really matter what you want to call them, they all are incapable of telling the truth and lack empathy, so none of them feel any guilt or remorse. Thus, the reason they are incapable of any real human attachment. They habitually lie, but because they are so superficially ‘charming’ many are unaware they are being conned, misled, and inveigled. Unfortunately, for those of us that recognize their behavior and their tendencies, they show nothing but contempt towards us, and anyone else, willing, trying, or seeking to understand, and or help them. That is not the most unfortunate part, it is that they are so cunning and calculating, that they are able to convince others they are innocent of any wrong doing, making it seem or appear as though he/she are the victim.

They are parasites, and go from ‘host’ to ‘host,’ as they seek to obtain that which they want or desire, regardless of the consequences. For generally, there are no consequences, at least not for them, because they can and will always feel, justified in their actions and or deeds, and because they are so charming, it is likely they will once again, come out as the victim. Impulsive, promiscuous, irresponsible, but because they are so amiable their family, friends, coworkers, and any of their other intended victims are not even aware they are being victimized.

Whether you recognize or identify the aforementioned character traits, in you or someone else, whether in part or in whole, it is frightening to think about the kind of damage these individuals inflict and subject others to. When and if they are confronted is perhaps the most frightening thing of all. If you are their victim, they often smile and seem almost pleased with themselves and what they have done. Which they are, for many have narcissistic tendencies, and a sense of grandiosity, in other words, the world and everyone else revolves around them and their needs. They have a sense of entitlement, so whatever they do, need to do, or have to do, in order to get what they want, they will do. If others are hurt in the process, so be it, so long as they get what they want.

If, on the off chance, you should try to expose them or reveal them, they will find a way to turn it around or in some instances, find a way to make it seem as though you have it out for them and convince others to turn their backs on you. This is how many of them are able to obtain and maintain control and continue their destructive, deviant, behavior.

I have continually strived to gain some type of understanding for what it must be like to live a life without forming any type of real human attachment with anyone. One would imagine it would be a miserable, lonely, existence, and yet, because they lack the ability to empathize and have no remorse or regret, they appear to, and seem to, always be surrounded and supported by loved ones, that are willing to believe the worst about everyone else around them, except for the ones responsible.

The sociopaths/psychopaths, and pathological liars, are rarely, if ever, held accountable for their actions, largely in part because they are so charming and cunning, but also in part because so many of their loved ones cannot, will not, are unable to, or refuse to, accept or acknowledge the fact that anyone, least of all, their loved one, is capable of such actions and or behavior. Ironically enough, they too have difficulty with dealing and facing the truth.

Truth hurts, truth is over rated, everyone lies, these are all phrases and or comments that are probably familiar to most, and sadly hold true for many more. For it seems that most people would rather live a lie, live with the lies, lie to ourselves, lie to themselves...some are even convinced that lying is better and or easier, than the truth. The truth is, many of us live with, know, have met, have read, have heard, and know of, someone that is a psychopath , sociopath, or pathological liar, we just aren’t always aware of it…or is that just another lie we tell ourselves to avoid the truth? Bury our heads to avoid the ugly truth...the only problem with that is, when we are face down, burying our heads in the ground, we are leaving our asses exposed. I don't know about anyone else, but personally, I'd rather see it coming, than just take it up...later on, when it's too late, because I've already been f*%!ed. Face down, ass up, that's they way they like to f*#$! or so I've heard. What you see, is what you get, I'm okay with, it's what I'm not seeing and still getting, that I have a problem with. On the surface of things, the part that I see, the parts that are visible to me, everything appears 'normal,' I don't feel threatened, afraid, or insecure, because I cannot foresee the danger ahead of me...charming subterfuge.


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      Andy 6 years ago

      That also describes my wife to a T.

    • raquelpier profile image

      Raquel L Pierson 6 years ago from Lancaster Ca

      I actually had several in mind...sadly there are many I recognize with these traits! UGH! But, you're right, sounds very much like the person you married! Thanks sis! Love you!

    • profile image

      Kim 6 years ago

      Hey sis...........not sure exactly which peeps you had in mind when you wrote this....but sounds oddly like the person I married, eh? As always, well done!!! Love you!!