Sugar, Spice and Puppydogs Tails | How Men Come To Want To Be Women
Are you a male who wants to wear women's clothing? Are you yearning for a touch of the feminine about yourself? I have some good news for you, you're not alone. Why do you feel this way? Well, I can't tell you on a personal level, but I do like to theorize on a general level. There are many reasons why some men want to be women, and I do not claim that this article explains them all. Rather this is one look at a possible reason why young males may decide that it is better and more desirable to be female than it is to be male. Your mileage (and opinions) will vary. If you have personal experience you deem relevant, feel free to have your say in the comments.
This article about a Swedish couple raising their child without gender (long story short: they're not telling other people whether the kid is male or female,) raised some interesting points. Some readers commented that this was a good thing because people tend to treat boys and girls differently from birth. There may be a tendency to be softer and gentler with girls, whereas boys may be encouraged to be tough and strong and brave. Of course, when you're a relatively small human being, there's very little difference between being a boy and being a girl, and it is entirely possible that young male children may sometimes feel scared and alone because they are made to be more independent, pain resistant and generally disposable from a young age, whereas female siblings are cossetted and cuddled.
I do remember growing up with my younger brother, even though we both had egalitarian stickers which proclaimed “Girls can do anything!” and “Boys can do anything!” respectively, my brother would get in a lot more trouble when we would fight than I did. If we were discovered trying to beat the hell out of one another (which we did on a regular basis up until the age of about 10,) then chastisement would be much harsher for him than me, regardless of the fact that I was older.
It seems obvious that some males, depending on the circumstances of how they were raised, may come to see being female as being good, or being female as being safe. If a little girl falls over and grazes her knee, nobody tells her to be a man about it. If a punishment of some kind is to be meted out, nobody tells a little girl to 'take it like a man.' Now of course, not all parents treat their children in such gender disparate ways. But those who do could be contributing to what I'll call for want of a better term, 'gender jealousy.'
It goes both ways too. Boys often get away with more outrageous behavior, which comes under the umbrella of 'boys will be boys,' no, children will be children. However if a girl behaves in an overtly destructive or rambunctious way, she isn't just disciplined for the behavior, she is often also shamed for not being a good girl. Her very femininity and identity is questioned, which is far more powerful than a slap on the wrist, which is all a male is likely to experience.
But if a male sees that he is allowed
to get away with more, that he is less protected than a female, is it
not also possible that he views himself as less important, on some
level? After all, as humans, we protect that which is important to
us, and we sacrifice or let go that which we are not so concerned
Of course, some of this has its roots deep in evolution. When we were cave people, protecting women was important because by protecting (and controlling) women, we were protecting genetic lineages. Men on the other hand, were more useful if they went out and spread their material about.
We're not cave people any more, though many instincts from that time remain. Instead, some of us raise small children according to values which no longer work in the modern world and which can even lead to rejection of those norms and rules if they are enforced too rigorously. After all, if I were male, I am sure I would find the idea of being valued, cossetted and treasured as a female to be highly appealing.
So, what do you think?