“The eye of the adulterer waited for the twilight saying, no eye shall see me: and disguiseth his face” Job 24:15
The Longman family dictionary defines adultery as an act of voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and somebody other than his/her spouse. Sexual relationship is sacred and is only right between married couples.
Some people, especially men believe that marriage is a license for them to sleep with whosoever they desire. This perverted understanding is the bedrock of rampant adulterous activities of married men with other married women or single ladies. This has contributed to rise in cases of broken homes, polygamous marriages and sugar daddy profane adventures in our society today.
Our Lord Jesus while on earth had to resolve one of those adultery cases with wisdom. A woman was caught having sex with a married man. They let the man go and brought the woman forward to be stoned to death. Could a woman commit adultery without a man? They did not bring the man forward because like in our day, people believe that men have the right after marriage to sleep with anybody they desire. A married man has the right only to sleep with his wife, period.
“They say unto Him, master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. …when Jesus had lifted up Himself, and saw none but the woman, He said unto her, woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee?” Jn.8:3-11.
One of the reasons God instituted marriage was to prevent the sinful life of adultery or fornication. It was not God’s intention to prevent fornication and with marriage promote the wicked act of adultery.
“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband” 1Cor.7:2
The prevalence of HIV/AIDS has brought to the fore, the wicked and murderous nature of adultery. In our Nigerian culture, women are at the receiving end of the continuum.
Consider the story of a married man who for the only reason that his wife just put to birth and could not resume sexual intercourse immediately, took a willing woman other than his wife for sexual intercourse in a hotel.
Unknown to the married man who wanted to try it just that once, the woman in question was HIV positive. The married man contracted the HIV virus and was living with it unknowingly.
When their baby was weaned and he resumed sexual intercourse with the wife, the innocent woman contracted HIV virus too and was living with it unawares.
The married man fell sick later in the years and was diagnosed HIV positive. His mind went to the only possible incident; his “one night stand” at the hotel. He was so ashamed and hid it from his wife until she was also diagnosed positive.
While the wife was crying in confusion on how she could have contracted the disease, the husband broke down into tears and confessed his ordeal which he called “one night stand”. He begged the wife to forgive him. He died some months later of complications from the disease.
The wife was soon faced with the burden of raising their children alone and the challenges of the HIV disease. She died some years later for what she knew nothing about; for the consequence of “one night stand” adulterous activity of the late husband. How else can we describe wickedness than that a woman should suffer and die for the mistake of her husband.
Some men are bold to adduce reasons why a woman must remain faithful but a man cannot. Some of the reasons include the following:
Ø A man will have to wait for 9 months period of the wife’s pregnancy without sexual intercourse. This is not true but share ignorance on the part of the man. Sex during pregnancy is allowed, only, care must be taken not to physically harm the baby in the womb.
Ø A man must endure without sex after the wife puts to bed. This is also not completely true. Doctors will counsel on the safest time and means to resume sexual relationship with your wife after delivery.
Ø Abstinence family method. Abstinence is recommended for the unmarried and is not a good means of planning our family. We could consult our Doctors for other methods that will not expose either of the couple to the temptation of adultery.
Ø The wife is not sexually active and strong; she is lazy in bed. There are better ways to handle the situation as we will be told by our marriage counselors or Doctors.
Ø My wife is wickedly starving me of sex. We do not repay wickedness with wickedness. We should commit time to settle every quarrel in our marriage than finding solace in another woman that is not our wife.
There are no plausible reasons to justify wickedness. Adultery is not caused by anything outside the man who is engaged in it. The cause of adultery is from within a man.
“…for from within, out of the heart of men proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornication, murders, …” Mk.7:20-23.
It was not caused by your beautiful house girl, or sister-in-law. You sneaked out of your matrimonial bedroom, away from your wife in the middle of the night and tried to rape that innocent girl. If the girl even consented out of your intimidation, it is still not her fault but the greedy spirit of lust inside of you.
“From whence come wars and fightings among you? Ye adulterers and adulteresses know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? …Jam.4:1-4.
“But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death” Jam.1:14-15.
The spirit of lust is in the flesh. A flesh controlled man will not be able to live above lust even after marriage. Men who believed that marriage will solve the lust problem are always surprised after marriage to discover that they are not satisfied with their beautiful wife. Marriage cannot solve a lifelong internal conflict of lusting after everything on skirt.
“But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” Matt.5:28.
Flesh is humanity’s fallen, corrupt or sinful nature as distinguished from human nature as originally created by God. Flesh is man as he allowed himself to become in contrast with man as God meant him to be. The solution to lust that is resident in the flesh cannot be found in the same flesh. The solution to the lust problem is found in the spirit.
“This I say then, walk in the spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh” Gal.5:16.
I am not ashamed to confess that as a pastor, the extent to which I am victorious over lust is only to the extent that I submit my desires and internal conflicts to the control of the Holy Spirit. Without Jesus and by extension the enablement of the Holy Spirit, a pastor like me is as weak and gullible, wayward and useless, profane and perverse as every other man out there who has lost control of their senses because of anything in skirt.
It is not surprising then why some great men of God fell because of lust, fornication or adultery. The first amongs these men of God is Samson (Judg.16:4-21), second is David (2Sam. 11-12), and thirdly, is King Solomon1Ki.11, Neh.13:26)
King Solomon in Prov.7:24-27 warns against the prostitute and the end of those who sin with her. He stressed that adultery is a destroyer of soul. It sounds like adultery is one of the weapons of Satan perfected for the destroying of the souls of men engaged in it. The adulterer in our story died of HIV virus and so did the wife; their souls lost to the lake of fire for eternity.
“But whosoever committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul” Prov.6:32.
The good news is that the Lord Jesus Hates adultery but loves the adulterer. The truth is that the adulterer is one of those He died for on the cross. Jesus is waiting for the the repentance of that adulterous prodigal son. He will, like the story of the prodigal son restore all you may have lost including making you joint heir with Him to enjoy His Father’s great inheritance in heaven for eternity.
Are you ready now to make that change to happen: by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour? Then pray as follows: God Almighty Father, I accept that I am a sinner and Jesus came and died for me. I accept Jesus into my life today. Cleanse me with the blood of Christ and write my name in your book of life. I refuse every covenant I have with the devil, directly or indirectly, in Jesus’ name.
You are now a born again Christian. What you need now is a Bible, the great book that God will use to lead you on.