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How to Survive a Broken Heart

Updated on October 19, 2015

Why is it so hard to let go and tell yourself, "Maybe he's not the one?"

Going through a break up is not always a walk in the park. Depending on the length of the relationship or how close the two of you were, losing someone emotionally may even require a little grieving time. For a moment, it may even seem as though you won't survive...but you can!

Often times, thoughts of what would've, should've, or could still happen may flood your thoughts. Other common feelings that can enter the broken heart include:

  • Rejection
  • Loneliness
  • Bitterness
  • Blame or Guilt

It's also common to experience the following:

  • Sleeping too much or not being able to sleep
  • Having a loss of appetite or eating to feel better
  • Loss of energy to do the things you love
  • Mood Changes (feeling irritated or sad)

It's a good idea to talk to a trusted friend and even a professional counselor about your feelings. Not dealing with your feelings could lead to depression. It may even take a toll on you physically.


Things to Consider

One of the first steps to letting go and being content is changing the way you think and your perspective about what has happened.

Instead of letting the circumstances and your emotions control you, take charge by being content with the situation. I know that this is so much easier said than done...but it can be done.

  • It's better to have loved than not loved at all. Some people are in our lives for a season. Appreciate the good memories you had in this and look for this experience to bring personal growth to you in some kind of way.

  • Trying to make a relationship happen or become more than what it currently is can be very hurtful to yourself when it doesn't turn out how you planned or hoped for. You lose a lot of energy and peace of mind because you are fighting within for love.

  • If there is a possibility you may get back together in the future, would you have wanted to spend your time just sitting and waiting, suffering, or enjoying life instead?

  • There is more to life than the dating scene. You don't need to be in a relationship to feel complete.

  • In the right time, the right person will come along.

  • Your ex can still care about you even though it's over.

  • Loving someone may also mean letting go.

  • Loving yourself is finding the inner strength to move on.

  • Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5


Becoming Whole and Finding Contentment

Have you heard that you can take everything to God in prayer, even a broken heart? ...Especially a broken heart

I Peter 5:7 Cast your cares on Him, for He cares for you.

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Matthew 6:33 Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

This one is my favorite. God already knows but wants His children to come to Him. He wants us to rest in Him. We can tell God what we are going through and rest in knowing that He cares. I remember pouring out myself in prayer because of my broken heart and feeling comforted.

He loves us that much. We don't have to worry about anything, not even love. He knows our every heart's desires. When we let go and spend time delighting ourselves in the things of God, then our wants line up with His plan for our lives, and we watch our desires and His desires become one. And until the right person for you comes along, you grow deeper in the love of God.

Sometimes when you throw in the towel, and let things just works. It's not that you give up on love. Instead, you choose not to actively chase it and avoid holding on to a relationship. Just just let things be...If it works out, good; If not, move on.

When not in a relationship, enjoy being single. Stay active, social and maintain healthy hobbies. Find contentment in being single and independent.

Toni Braxton_Let it Flow

Kelly Clarkson_Stronger

Destiny's Child_Through With Love

Tamela Mann_Take Me to The King

The Clarke Sisters_Jesus is a Love Song


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    • profile image

      Robyn 2 years ago

      Thank you so much for this hub. I was looking for this sort of advice..

      I also find watching a fire is sort of calming. Sometimes I get really really upset, and then I just need to look at something that sends out warmth..

    • His princesz profile image

      His princesz 5 years ago

      You said it well! I sure did enjoy my single years. For the broken hearted - return to your first love - Jesus Christ. ;)