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Updated on July 12, 2013

Tips for Co-Existing

When a married couple has a conflict because one is task-oriented and the other is relationship-oriented. It may be best to divide and conquer. No need to be discouraged, however, they can still achieve goals. Here are some tips:

  • Define the goal is with clear communication.
  • The task-oriented person needs to develop a relationship with each family member - even if they have to pencil it into their schedule.
  • The relationship-oriented person needs to make the goal a priority and be willing to set a deadline so the need for nurturing is not so distracting it prevents them from obtaining the goal.

Leader Traits of Both the Task-oriented and Relationship-oriented

  1. Task-oriented people are leaders who are goal-oriented and strive to achieve based on rational, logical and factual thoughts. While this is a productive way to meet deadlines, often this leader injects appearances of demotivating others because they come across to team members or even family members that they do not care as long as the job gets done.
  2. Relationship-oriented people are leaders who are concerned with the people performing the tasks and in families, this leader is more concerned with nurturing, cheer-leading and encouraging. They foster good relationships, typically have good communication, and this usually motivates members to do their best because they know they will have the support of their leader.

List of Differences

Use of schedules, conscious of deadlines
Emphasis on interaction with people
Straight to the point
Motivates people
Completion of tasks is a priority
Good communications
Cares about others

Get R Done!


In Marriage

Women are usually the nurturers in the relationship. Women just want their task-oriented husbands to care enough to listen, acknowledge and validate what she has to say. Wives want their husbands to hold their tongues, not give advice so readily and are really seeking an understanding ear, a shoulder to lean on.

Men are usually the task-oriented creatures in the relationship. Men want respect and want their nurturing wives to just get to the point, take their advice and acknowledge they are the problem solver. Husbands want their wives to deal with the facts.

It doesn't really matter which spouse is which. What matters is that you meet in the middle with a mutual exchange called communication. Remembering there is not about being right or wrong, but finding solutions together and recognizing the strengths in each other.

Nothing Like a Big Happy Smile to Get You Through the Day


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