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THE TALL GUY
The Tall GuyClick thumbnail to view full-size
Welcoming Home A Powerful Friend
In a previous blog, September 16, to be exact, (It Takes A Man#2 ) I describe a "tall guy" inside of me, and when I am connected to "him," I actually walk tall and hold on to my confidence and maybe even my magic. I can persist without giving up or crying uncle! I also mentioned that I am not sure how it is that sometimes the tall guy seems to run away or perhaps I chase him away, but the bottom line is, there are times he seems to be nowhere in sight, GONE.
When I realized today that the Tall Guy hasn’t been home for a few days, I thought about calling him. As I was dialing his number, he tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped and then laughed. He told me that he’s been here all along.
What’s interesting is that when I first considered calling him and inviting him back home, I felt an instant hesitation, actually a "No, don’t do that." I realized that if I invite him home, I’d have to give up feeling tired, feeling depressed, and let go of the incessant self-judgement that basically I am a fraud and anything but successful, and I’d also have to give up all my pity pot soothers, like ice cream and vino.
Well, he hears it all, cause he lives inside the same "tenement" with all my other crazy voices, and he quickly assured me that he would not demand that I give up anything. He was simply going to invite me to let go of my mental and physical activities that are energy drainers and go back to mental and physical activities that create energy. That’s all!
One of the things that drains me of energy is trying to solve the many different problems I face in a given day ALONE. The tall guy points me in another direction–reaching out and networking and dialoguing. Oh I hate that stuff.
I remember one time many years ago needing to get up onto my roof, but I did not have a tall enough ladder nor did I have the money to buy one. I could clearly see into the neighbor-across-the-street’s garage where a tall ladder stood vigil, anxiously waiting an opportunity to be used! But I could not bring myself (that’s an interesting phrase) to ask the neighbor to borrow his ladder. So I pulled the patio table over to the swing set in our back yard. I placed my small ladder on the patio table. I climbed to the top of the small ladder and used the top bar of the swing set to launch myself on to the roof. Getting up was really a cinch. Coming down was not so easy. I continued to use this method of getting onto the roof for almost twenty years. What the heck is my problem!
No, the tall guy was not in my life then. Thank God, he emerged, and now the challenge is to allow him to take me by the hand and lead me. And I don't think it has to do with being tough or even doing the "right" thing. It's something way beyond that.
It sometimes seems easier and certainly more pleasurable to wallow in my aloneness and fill myself up with food and alcohol. And hey, the food and alcohol does, in fact, fill me. It leaves me FULL, and at least momentarily clouds some of the fear and pain of the challenges in front of me.
So do you have experiences like this? Do you have a Tall Guy? Do you sometimes tell him to get lost and prefer to go through life ALONE wallowing and filling up on your addictions rather than connecting to your life energy? And what typically finally moves you to follow once again your Tall Guy?
SHARE WITH US AND THANKS FOR READING.
HEY, sorry for being so sexist. I imagine women have a TALL GAL too. Any women out there to comment?