- Gender and Relationships
Taking Action to Find Your True Love
How likely is it that if you sit at home all day, that someone walking down the street will just feel compelled to knock on your door and turn out to be your one true forever love?
Sure it's possible. It's also possible that cats will learn to speak English.
And yet many people seem to expect it to happen.
Not the cat's speaking English part.
If you want to find your love, then you need to get out there and open yourself to it.You need to take concrete action.
So how do you do that?
Consider Where You're Looking For Love
Most folks tend to consider dating websites, singles bars and that sort of thing.
Although, hubby and I actually did meet on a dating site, I don't recommend this as a first resort. Unless you choose a site that is geared to a particular lifestyle that is important to you. When I found my husband I'd been on a Pagan dating site, but there were very few guys in my area that felt right for me. Lucky for me, they had a sister site for the Gothic crowd. That's where we met.
I tend to have a low opinion of dating sites that claim to match you to your perfect person via all kinds of algorithms. One openly states that they won't match folks from two different religions. Since hubby identifies as a cross between Christian and Native American beliefs, we would never have come together on those kinds of sites. Of course your results may vary.
As for singles bars, you'll meet the kind of person that likes to hang out at bars. If that's not you, you're already in the wrong place.
So what's my suggestion?
Go Where You're Having Fun
If you like sky diving, hang out with sky divers. If you love art, go to art shows or museums. If you're into medieval history, join the Society for Creative Anachronism.
Why does this work?
When you're having a great time you'll glow with it. Joy is naturally attractive. Therefore you're more likely to draw someone to you.
You'll be more likely to find someone that you have interests in common with. No, you and your prospective mate don't need to have every single interest and hobby in common, but it certainly helps to have a few.
Finally, if you're having a great time, doing something you love, then it's not a waste of time.
Don't be afraid to use the web for this too. Get involved in discussion sites and forums on subjects that interest you. My brother met his wife on a forum for paranormal interests. Pretty soon they were exchanging private messages and then phone calls. She moved clear across the country to be with him. It's been close to 18 years now, and they're still crazy in love.
Take a Class
You don't need to take a formal college class, unless you want to. Think about your interests and check into what opportunities are available in your local area. Whether you like painting, sailing or karate, get out and learn something.
Yes, this is a subset of Go Where You're Having Fun, and in the same way, you'll meet folks who share your interests. Even if you don't meet the right person at the class itself, you've expanded your circle of friends, and thus the chance that they know the perfect person for you.
Plus you'll learn something. Gaining a new skill is never a waste of time.
Dance is fun. It's a fundamental part of our human expression. Again, having fun makes you glow.
If it's not fun, you're doing it wrong. Enjoy the music and don't worry about looking silly. Let your body do what it already knows how to do. And being silly is perfectly fine. Who knows -- you might even invent the next big dance craze.
And don't tell me that you're not capable of dancing, unless you're not capable of movement at all. The guy I dated before I met my husband was in a wheelchair. And he loved to dance.
A disclaimer here: My husband is a ballroom dance instructor. However this is advice I gave way before I ever met him. I met my ex partly because I was taking belly dancing classes. I will say that one of the reasons I decided to contact my now-and-forever husband was (besides everything else about his bio that told me he was the right one) because he offered to give me a lesson in the Tango.
Dance, when it's done as a couple is also incredibly romantic. There is nothing like the connection of standing close, looking into each other's eyes and moving together.
It's also a great way to break the ice. "Want to dance?" is a low commitment way of getting to know somebody. You can share one dance and then move onto another partner, or you can find out that you're compatible and spend the night talking.
When you allow someone to buy you a drink, you're allowing them to buy your time. At least as long as while you're drinking it. Possibly (in their minds) for the entire night. Yep, some people have the mixed up idea that by accepting a drink, you are now obligated to them. Accepting a dance, however, is a commitment that lasts for no longer than the time it takes for the song to end.
If you meet someone who attracts you, don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with them. If you enjoy their company, whether you're male or female, don't be afraid to ask them out.
For all you know, they're hoping you'll ask.
And what's the worst that could happen? They'll say no?
Fine then. They weren't right for you. Stay friendly if you've discovered a friendship. And move on to the next person who interests you.
Where have you tried looking for love? (Most often.)
Be Prepared to Kiss Some Frogs
When I started to empower the Ultimate Love Spell and Affirmation in my life (which I'll give you in the next of this series), I did have to kiss some croakers. I found one relationship that helped give me the wake-up call to leave my long-broken relationship, but didn't last much longer than that. I got out and met some guys. Some I became friends with but there wasn't anything romantic going on. Some I didn't want to have anything to do with after the first date.
I dated one guy for almost a year. I knew he wasn't the right one from the first moment he kissed me. I also knew he had something to teach me. And I was right about that. Despite the fact that he wasn't the person I was intended to spend my life with, that relationship forced me to grow as a woman, a priestess and a human being.
So be aware that the first relationship you get involved in if you use that affirmation might not be "the one."
Just know that the Universe will lead you to the right person if you allow it.
Other Articles in this Series
This tested Affirmation and Spell will help the Universe bring love in your direction. You don't even have to cast a spell unless you want to, as the affirmation is strong enough to work on its own.
A look at how your actions and the Universe's wisdom may be delaying you from the relationship you desire.
© 2014 Lionrhod