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Taking Divorce in the Right Sense

Updated on September 16, 2011

Marriage has been considered to be a sacred institution till date. Even today people do believe in marriages. There is an endless list of marriages that have lasted on the basis of trust, mutual understanding and commitment. Yes, marriage is no doubt a lifetime commitment which lasts on mutual trust and understanding between partners. Gone are the days, when marriage was only about having kids or heir to run the family hierarchy. Today, it is about nurturing a beautiful relationship where two people try to complete or compliment each other. It is more about giving respect and trying to accompany each other in the beautiful journey of life.

But very often in few cases, things don't work out the way it should for many of them, and then cracks get build up in this beautiful journey, which leads to serious problems, like divorce.When a beautiful relationship, fails to meet each other’s expectation, things tend to get worse and nothing seems to work out, the final solution that is rightly considered is a divorce. It is no doubt, true that its rate has increased over years, but one needs to recognize, what and who is to be blamed for? Gone are the days when it was said that 'Marriages are made in heaven'. The truth is marriages are very much made here on earth by people, and people very often do mistakes.

Common Reasons for Divorce

Physical abuse

Misunderstandings

Suspicion

Incompatibility

Work pressure

Infidelity

Financial issues between both the partners

Drug addiction

Alcohol

Sexual dysfunction

Communication problems

There can be many reasons associated with it, which compels one to take this decision.One such reason is physical abuse. Women often complain of physical abuse or domestic violence and it is always better to get out of this complication, rather than getting beaten every other day. Things of past - when a woman would shut her mouth and bear such atrocities happening to her. Time has changed and so has certain definitions of life. It is also about seeking freedom and living life the way one wants to. This also could be one of the reasons for taking such drastic step.

Today, individuals try to get some space and always love their privacy. Since both men as well as women seek equal status when it comes to economic power and education, differences of opinion are quite natural and one may be unable to or not even try to adjust to the present situation.Apart from all these few other factors that compel one to take such a drastic step are lack of commitment, infidelity, misunderstandings and lack of compromise.

Taking Divorce in the right sense

Divorce can actually be taken in a right sense other than considering it as a threat to the society. It can be actually considered as an easy way of getting out of the complications, one would otherwise have to face or bear for the rest of the life. Why people ever opt for such a thing?It’s therefore advisable to try and live a happy life, by getting a divorce, rather than feel suffocated in a relationship which could no longer hold the same meaning, the way it did earlier. One way people can work out after divorce is become friends which may work wonders if you have children and thus you can happily share the responsibilities of a child, without getting into fight. Though it doesn’t seem to be that easy the way it sounds, yet there are couples who happily manage working out just fine by being good friends. However this also depends on how bitter the divorce battle was and how well both the parties handled the situation.

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    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      @the pink umbrella..thanks for visiting. I really appreciate your parent's stand and feel happy to know there are people who actually consider divorce in the right sense. I am just penning down my thoughts here, but your parents have actually understood and accepted it as a fact.Yes its true.. who would ever imagine their marriage going down to pits. But still accepting the fact takes a lot of guts. I would appreciate how you too have accepted their decision and the facts of life positively. Great job!

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
      Author

      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      @VENZKHVAM...Thanks for reading and understanding the message that I plan to give here in this hub. I truly appreciate this. Yes what I plan to convey is that no doubt we believe that marriage is a sacred institution, but that does not mean that you need to suffocate within just to show out to people who have nothing to do with it. Instead of fighting and raising voices in front of children, why not just simplify things by accepting and respecting each other's space and needs. Even the children can live peaceful lives.

      Though when they are young enough they may not understand what's going on between their parents, but once they grow up I am sure they would respect their parent's decision.

      One more thing, since you end up spending lot of time together as a couple you know each other more and that's what you need to have in friendship, knowing each other. I know its tough one but its all about moving on and to let live.

    • the pink umbrella profile image

      the pink umbrella 5 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      my mother just had a very civil devorce. sure, it started out heated, but after a while they spoke on the phone at least once a week. when my stepfather went to sign the papers they agreed on, they hugged when they left the office. i think thats nice. just because it didnt work out, (or he was a cheating bastard) doesnt mean that they both have to walk around with all of that anger. its a shame because if people took entering into marriage more serioualy, divorce wouldnt have to be so casual. then again, there are circumstances where you wouldnt have known it was going to end up in the pits.

    • VENZKHVAM profile image

      VENZKHVAM 5 years ago from Milk way galaxy, trying to find a more adventurous place in another galaxy with my great followers

      hi fellow mumbaite,

      I really liked your topic .This is really postive in today society. As per your discussion here , what i feel is if any one after entering in to the marriage constitution is not finding it lucrative atleast for the children should hold on to it with soime adjustments and condition here and there. But if nothing is possible you can divorce and try to be good friends forever before things getting into blaming each other. Thus both the peoples privacy is respected and also individual freedom gets a meaning. Over and all the if childrens are there they will in future understand and not feel bad when for his functions both join together.

      wonderfull positive hub.

      I had voted this hub up and also VERY USEFUL.

      With warm regards

      Dinesh Nair

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
      Author

      Fellow Mumbaite 5 years ago from India

      Thanks for visiting securitynxt...You are totally right there about being friends after divorce. But then there are many cases known to us, where divorced partners still share wonderful relationship of friendship. Its all about the couple's wish to work it out. Moreover when you have a child, you may prefer to stay in good books of your child too. Why the child be denied with the happiness he deserves, so what his parents are separated. Yet being friends can always bring out a positively for the child.