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Talented Complainer

Updated on June 7, 2015
Holy ?!*!
Holy ?!*!

Classic Movie Mistakes: Asian People vs White People

I wonder how many scary movies you guys have watched that have made you crap your pants and cry like a little baby. I know I have namely Mama and Return of the House on the Haunted Hill. A piece of advice: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH THOSE MOVIES OTHERWISE YOU WILL BE ROCKING BACK AND FORTH LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. Have you guys ever watched a scary movie and then thought I am never watching another scary movie as long as I shall live, but then you end up watching another movie a couple months later. Well, that's exactly how I felt after I watched The Devil after watching Mama. Anyway, we're getting off topic. Let's go back and compare asians vs white people in horror films.

The first classic mistake in a horror movie is when white people decide to investigate a noise. Like seriously, are they for real? Do horror movies not exist? Everyone knows that if you hear a noise, you run as fast as your legs can take. That's definitely what asians would do. This is probably one of the reasons that Asians live longer than white people. White People always want to play the hero, but asians are okay with playing the coward because they have more sense and also we have a lot of practice from running from little noises since our parents would always come after us with shoes and sticks. I don't understand horror movies, I mean the ghost or soul is meant to be an almighty powerful thing, but it gets scared away by humans. What the hell man?

The second classic mistake made by white people is when they want to split up. What in the world is wrong with you? They're in a haunted place with evil spirits and they want to split up?! What could you possibly achieve by splitting up? You know other than getting yourself killed. Asians would never make a mistake like because like I said before we're cowards. We're cowards for two reasons: one is because we stick together and the second is because we think we're so hard. Honestly, if there was a horror movie where an asian wouldn't try to pick a fight, I think I quite possibly would be having a heart attack.

The third classic mistake is there always seems to be one jerk that tries to ruin everything. For example, this one jerk would start suspecting the main character and telling him to sacrifice himself for the rest of the group. WTF?! Heard of teamwork? As usual this stupid jerk goes off on his own and gets killed and the main cast try to stop him, but he's already gone. If it were us asians, we would've battered the crap out of him since we do have quite a few anger issue problems. We would've have done the villain's job for him. Also the asian jerk would have never stalked off on his own to be killed, instead he would have sat down and sulked about how unfair life is. It also would have benefited us since we always feel safer in large groups.

Anyway, I could write a lot more in this blog, but I am feeling really tired right now, since I have got to revise for my GCSE's. Anyway, please do send me some requests of what you want me to write about in my next blog. Love you guys. Peace from the West Life Gangsta.


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