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- Relationship Problems & Advice
Tell me the truth
Don't hide your life away
Tell me the truth
Tell me the truth
Truth or lie, well some omission isn’t a lie and this would be a correct statement, but it is deceitful. Imagine a relationship, an intimate relationship and all the while as we are thinking how great our relationship is with each other, I withheld information about my life. The relationship becomes more complicated by accusations of an unhealthy lifestyle, deceit again quickly follows suit, then all Hell breaks loose when a crisis surfaces and the unknown is brought to light, do you think this is a healthy relationship and how long will it last?
Do you recall being in a relationship such as this, what did you do about it, stay, go? These relationships can be with family, work, organizations and even spiritual. I want to focus on a relationship between husband and wife first, for this I know something about. If you want a healthy relationship, it is not how much time you spend together that will make it grow, it is how honest you are willing to be in that relationship and it is recognizing the needs of others before your own that will make for a rewarding and lasting love.
ANGER, not necessarily what any of us desires to have in a relationship, yet since we are speaking honestly we can’t ignore the fact that it will happen. With two persons, there are two distinct personalities normally they compliment each other, but when things go wrong as they do sometimes, blame games can start to arise. It is very important to stop that kind of behavior as soon as it starts.
NO good comes from finger pointing or the continued criticism of each other. Let he/she who is blameless cast the first stone, who is ever completely blameless and how important is it to establish, it is NOT important at all it would only serve to add fuel to a potentially rising flame. What IS important is to work on a compromise/solution as quickly as possible. Do not let the sun go down, with anger still residing in your hearts for one another.
Here I will spill some of my own flaws and even though I get somewhat defensive over them, I am glad I have recognized them so I might be able to diminish them. These flaws are; the inability to listen intently and the need to apply a fix to everything she mentions that is wrong instead of just listening, this is the deficit in my attention I give to her and I need to just sit there and listen. I also must be willing and capable of not judging and this can be a tall order, remember the blame game. The one other and I am working on this with all sincerity yet it is very hard for me, is to be physically able to caress and console not only her but others.
For all of my weaknesses I have mentioned, I do possess good traits and I use them to the best of my ability and in a timely manner, I will not bore you with those details. What is important in establishing and continuing a healthy relationship is communication, this is KEY! Please, do not think I know that much about relationships to profess that this will work in all circumstances, it won’t. There is one relationship that will always work with being clear and direct and that is what I need to address with you next, it may even help to develop your relationship with each other and this is why I will include it in my note here. First a small review from a man named James, he says “My dear brothers (sisters; this is my add), take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” there is more he has to say and I will leave this link starting here and ending on this 20th verse, in chapter 1 of his book.
If ever there were a relationship I need to continue to build upon, it is the one with my Creator, He has none of my flaws and listens to everything I have to say whether good or bad. In my deepest times of trouble I am able to plead for mercy and though I may not get what I asked for, at least I don’t get what I deserve.
In the knowledge and faith that God created the Heavens and Earth and all living creatures that dwell upon it, it would be absolute nonsense for myself to think I am capable of deceiving Him and with that same attitude is how we should approach each other in our relationships, we should never in a truly loving relationship feel as if we need to hide from each other. Ponder this, until the serpent enticed Adam and Eve into believing they would surely not die from eating the fruit from the “Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil” they never hid from the LORD, again a link I have posted.
Wherever you may find yourselves in relationships at this moment, please consider if you have not already to add to it instead of omitting, be truthful and honest to each other with consideration and caring and truly your relationship will be blessed.