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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Ten Dating Mistakes Women Make
A warm welcome to all of the readers be it male or female. This hub is intended to help women who have entered or are entering the dating world. These mistakes are commonly what women make and if you are seeking the male counterpart, please see my other hub for the Ten Mistakes Men Make.
In no way is this hub intending to bash women or relationships and this hub will not help women (or men) looking for casual relationships with no strings attached. This hub is being written by a young woman in her 20's who does not take part in such activities.
I really hope you enjoy the hub and it helps you understand the mistakes you could be making that drive the men away.
Little Miss Gossip.
1. Little Miss Gossip.
Little Miss Gossip refers to the women that behave as though they are in an American, high school movie. Tossing their hair, whispering and walking around being nasty to other people. Men absolutely despise women that bitch, gossip, spread rumours and talk excessively about other women (or men) in a negative light. It is extremely immature and only reflects badly on you. Whilst it doesn't hurt to tell your partner about your friend, or mention someone has spread a nasty rumour online or something and give a brief bit of information, it isn't needed to sit and post vicious things or mock other women. These are not the sort of women that will ever be satisfied or be happy in a relationship and often lose their men to other women.
Do you really need to give a ten minute long presentation as to why your best friend is such a back stabber? No. Do you need to sit and post a paragraph of indirect hate on the internet? No. Do you even need to acknowledge other people that say things about you? No. Men love a woman that is mature enough to take herself out of situations like this, a woman that doesn't spread lies, hate and say vicious things about other women all the time. It makes her look extremely jealous and leaves a dirty mark on her personality. Think before you say things, there are more interesting things to talk about than that girl who wore yellow shoes with an orange dress.
Little Miss High Maintenance
2. Little Miss High Maintenance.
Barbie has her place in a kids doll house, not in the real human world. Now know the difference between caring and making yourself look good, to being high-maintenance. High maintenance women are the type to spend hundreds on their hair, their extensions, nails, clothes, shoes, bags and makeup every month. They always seem to be getting ready, always have their makeup and hair done and always expect romance, expensive restaurants and to be taken out on dates all the time and the guy to pay. Now, these are different to gold-diggers whom go out to get men for their money and presents, these women are more narcissistic and men find it tiring to wait for them, to pay for them, to deal with the drama that comes with them. A good guy will overlook a high maintenance woman because to keep her attention she goes beyond the boundaries of having high standards, she takes it to the next level and makes no effort towards him, only for herself. She is a one-sided person.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to look nice, to take your time getting ready and to spend your own money on getting your hair and nails done. However, there is a limit to what men can tolerate. Imagine dating a man that loved himself, that was always messing with his hair, his skin, his clothes, spending too much money on silly things and would totter about like a Ken doll and expect you to keep up behind him like another accessory. Would you like this? No. Just be yourself, dress how you want and look how you want but you don't need to go way over the top. Stop expecting these men to line up at the door on their knees to worship you and offer you their fellowship if you aren't making an effort for them.
Little Miss Baggy
3. Little Miss Baggy
Little Miss Baggy refers to women whom have had intercourse with many, many men. Whilst some men do not care, a man looking for a mature and genuine relationship. When a woman tells a man she has slept with, say, 10 other men, this tells him that you do not value relationships, sex or your own body enough to limit it to one or a couple of serious partners. Would you want to date a man that goes out and sleeps with women every week and has one night stands? I certainly wouldn't, the risk of diseases, infections and other such problems is too high to risk and some nasty bugs can't be stopped even with protection.
Valuing your body and limiting your number of sexual partners can drastically help your chances of finding the nice kind of man. Many men don't care who has slept with who or how many for themselves or for the woman, these are not the sort of men that make wonderful husbands. Respecting your body enough to share it intimately with someone you are in love with and committed to for a period of time warrants more respect than a girl that says "yolo". Men value women they can take home and even wear white. We all know the majority of women have slept with a few people and won't be virginal on their wedding day and that's okay, but please think before you drop your undies.
Little Miss Clingy
4. Little Miss Clingy.
Ever bought a top that was so tight and clingy it made you keep tugging and picking at it and feel trapped and desperate to get out of it when you wear it? That's what a clingy woman is like to a man. He feels trapped, suffocated and eager to get out of the relationship.
Now understand the difference between caring and clingy. A caring woman sending her new man a text when she wakes up to say "hey, just thinking of you this beautiful morning. Have a good day, I'll see you tonight :)" but a clingy woman texts multiple times throughout the day, often for pointless reasons. She may cling to him either physically or emotionally (or both) and refuse to release grip. Do you find yourself checking up on him? Stalking his Facebook profile? Checking out old pictures and reading all the comments? How about phoning his work or making plans for multiple dates in one day trying to establish a time limit for when the relationship will AT LEAST last to? That is being clingy. Men like a woman that can go off and do her own thing, hang out with friends, let him go out without spamming his phone, can go and live and not be reliant on his companionship all the time, even if you live together.
You may think you are being kind, securing the relationship and even making him feel loved. But showering someone with too much is smothering and pushes men away. If you seem clingy, he won't want to go out with you again.
Just relax. The main problem with clingy women is a form of anxiety. Maybe this is your first relationship or maybe you have been dumped in the past and hurt and feel insecure that your man will leave. Clinging to him and checking on him will only insure that he does. Give him the space you would like to have and see him comfortably. If you want to be exclusive I recommend you have one good talk about it to be sure both parties are clear you are in a relationship. If your anxiety is a problem, please seek help.
5. Little Miss Communication.
5. Little Miss Communication.
Have you ever been to a friend's house or out with someone and they have sat glued to the phone "mmhmm" or "yeah and.... yeah, what did you say?" or that takes calls in the middle of a date/ conversation? That is what you look like when you're on your internet or texting whilst out with him. A woman that loves her phone more than her man isn't going to last long in any relationship. It is rude, ignorant and extremely annoying to sit and take calls (be it work or otherwise) on a date, when hanging out with someone or sitting there texting them. Some men will feel you have no time for them, you are too busy or you are even seeing other men! When on dates or with them, turn the phone off and give him your attention.
If you really can't be without the phone, switch it to silent, turn it off or just don't take it. You don't need to take a picture with your new date and post it to Facebook, or tell your friends who you're with or that you're on a date to make them jealous. Chances are that if you do, you won't be getting another one. Just stop conversations with the outside world when you're with him, give yourself a chance at being with someone good. Would you rather update a status than be on a date with a man that could be your husband? Do you want to take that risk?
Little Miss Drama
6. Little Miss Drama.
Dramatic women find it hard in the dating world. Men don't like a woman that is always gossiping, always in a jam, always with some massive feud or internet war and always has something to complain about. If you're the sort of woman that can't live without being in some massive scandal with lots of people involved, men aren't going to want to date you. Women that take a small thing and blow it massively out of proportion and let things spiral way out of control are too much to handle, they are high maintenance and men see it as immaturity. Causing fights online, making fake profiles, gossiping, spreading rumours, trying to provoke fights or overreacting even to things he has said or done and running to your friends about it telling everyone, isn't the way to keep a man, it is the right way to drive him away.
You need to show your man you are calm, sensible and logical. Women that are calm, logical and mature fair much better in relationships than ones that run about screaming, rushing to text, posting huge dramatic things online or being involved in every scandal or fight going are not the sort of women men want to take home. It is a form of immaturity and also ties in with high maintenance women. Leave all the drama where it belongs, at age 15.
Little Miss Secret Agent
7. Little Miss Secret Agent
This is the most amusing one. Little Miss Secret Agent is a woman that are overly analytic, clingy, needy and very jealous and insecure. She spends her time analysing everything her man says. She says "We've been together for six months now, how time flies!" and he falls silent. She automatically assumes he is thinking about the relationship, she automatically assumes he is thinking of breaking up with her, he is bored, she shouldn't have said that, she said something wrong. The Secret Agent woman is the type of women that reads into everything too much and then goes to spend 6 hours analysing every aspect of every movement he makes. Have you ever seen those TV shows where the woman are going into detail and saying "what does that mean?" or "oh, he looked down, that doesn't sound good!"? Yes, that's the type of woman I am talking about.
What you have to realise is that these women are wrong 99% of the time and lack the skills to communicate properly with her man. She is most likely to have been in failed relationships or be very insecure/ anxious. They don't seem to realise that they are driving their men up the wall.
Don't read in to everything he does, give him space and communicate. A lot of the problems in a relationship are down to a 50/50 mark of a lack of communication. If you are a very vocal person that voices her problems and fears and he is not, you likely aren't going to be a good match. You need to communicate calmly and in a mature manner, if you are concerned then tell him and you want to make it clear that he is open to communication too. It is a very important part and running off worrying, biting your nails and analysing every tiny flicker of an eyelash or the slightest gesture of a finger is only going to end up with him walking out the door. Men can't cope with women like this and a woman who does these things is often not mature enough to last in a relationship.
Little Miss Chooses-Wrong-Guy
8. Little Miss Chooses-Wrong-Guy.
She is the typical girl that repeatedly gets hurt in relationships, that dates men short-term hoping for a long-term relationships but never seem to be able to hold them down. Perhaps she blames herself, perhaps she wonders why none of these seemingly nice men want her. It's because she is choosing the wrong men. No matter how nice he seems if you don't click, you don't have much in common with him or he seems interested in other women, he isn't right for you. For example, she is a conservative girl that likes to study and works in an office, she does not drink or do anything wild. He is a party boy, very handsome, lots of girls chasing him and works in a club. What do they actually have in common? Very little.
Choosing a guy because you "fall in love easily" or because he's handsome, isn't love.It is not possible to actually be in love with someone after meeting them for a week or two unless you have known them personally for an extended period of time. People that fall in love easily are not actually falling in love, it is called being smitten or an infatuation. You need to really assess these men before jumping in the car with them hoping to ride off into the sunset and down the aisle.
As I said above, it's not all or nothing. These women tend to think it's all or nothing, they give everything to one guy and if he doesn't respond she thinks she's worthless. Men that make you feel bad or unworthy of love are NOT the right men no matter how many you date. You should really look at the men you're dating, what do they have in common? How long were the relationships? Why did you break up? A lot of the time the man will blame you in these cases and try to run off with other women, these men never took you seriously and you shouldn't feel bad. Women like this are extremely kind and gentle people that need some guidance and time to think about what they really want in a relationship. Make yourself a list of things you MUST have in a man e.g. a degree, a job, a certain religion, a second list of things that are negotiable such as hair colour, weight, level of education and things that you do not want e.g. men that sleep around, rich/poor men, men with children and ex-wives. It depends on you. Learn to meet new men and try dating someone completely the opposite of what you normally do and see how it works out.
Little Miss Foghorn
9. Little Miss Fog Horn
The type of woman that is a loudmouth. She shouts, she calls attention to herself and she is loud and sometimes ignorant in things she does. Men find it tiring and even embarrassing being with a woman that is talking excessively loudly as though she is looking for attention or for other people to know. Women that are around someone and suddenly blurt out dramatic things that have happened, expensive purchases or a random funny joke (or just something random) and don't normally do it, come across like they are trying to prove something, trying to show off and even trying to brag. Have you ever seen that loud girl somewhere shouting, waving her arms around and exaggerating her movements/stories? Notice how the men seem slightly intimidated of her or even call her crazy? Most men can't handle a woman like this.
Tone it down. Being loud, shouting, bragging or blurting things out makes you look obnoxious, immature and even ignorant. Shouting at people even in a friendly manner is rude and blabbing about everything to anyone that will listen can intimidate people, especially quieter ones. If you find yourself behaving this way, you don't need to stop, just pull back a little and be calmer and quieter. Men can sense it when you're showing off, doing it to get attention or just being plain obnoxious.
Little Miss Gold Digger
10, Little Miss Gold Digger.
This is one of the bigger ones for men. Men looking for a serious relationship and possibly marriage and children DO NOT want a woman that is going around looking for his money. These women often do not care about their men or they EXPECT to find a sugar daddy that will be their husband and pay for them to go to the gym and get their hair done all day. If you are looking for a rich man, a rich older man or someone that is offering to buy you expensive treats and gifts, you're not going to get marriage. These men KNOW you are using them for money, these men are NOT looking for marriage and these men will NOT take you seriously. There is nothing wrong with you paying for dinner or even better, splitting the bill equally as it should be. In the real world, the chances of you finding your perfect, faithful husband that will buy you diamonds, dinner, clothes and designer bags whilst you sit around unemployed and going to the gym all day with a nanny caring for you children is extremely rare and unrealistic. TV shows do seem to put emphasis on these lives but when you dig deeper, these people have been married multiple times and are NOT happy people.
Get in to reality. Most people have to work a normal job to pay for things. How is it fair that he goes to work all day and then he pays for an expensive dinner, diamonds, clothes and funding for you? It isn't and if a man tried to take advantage of you that way you would not like it. The chances of you finding a man that will give you the Beverly Hills lifestyle to begin with is extremely slim and the more men you use for money, the more the word spreads and you lose out on great men. If you want these things, pay for them yourself. A man doesn't have to pay for the woman's ticket or dinner just the same as he doesn't HAVE to take you out on that date and could choose the girl willing to treat him properly and pay her own way.
So now we have reached the ending of this hub. I hope it covered the many mistakes women make. If you are still confused, I will sum it up in a few quick points now:
- Dating men she has nothing in common with.
- Dating men and expecting him to pay for everything and shower her with expensive gifts and take her out all the time.
- Being too dramatic over everything and being too involved with internet drama.
- Analysing everything he does and assuming the worst of him - unable to trust.
- Wasting too much money on ridiculous things.
- Dishing it out too early and not sharing any real conversation with him so the relationship is based on sex.
- Absolute desperation. Men sense it.
I hope nobody was offended by these things and I hope this helped you better understand. Think, if the situations were reversed and he did these things to you, how would you feel?