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- Happy Marriages
Ten top ideas for happiness in married life.Very effective indeed!
“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” Fawn weaver
Do you want happiness in your marriage? Of course you want it! But you find it the most difficult thing to achieve in your married life and feel that your marriage is just a survival between you and your spouse. You feel emptiness in your interaction with your spouse and your marriage soon slips into the mediocre and the mundane.
Why is happiness so rare in marriage?
- You take your marriage for granted.
- You are always concentrated on your viewpoint.
- You do not trust your spouse
- You have idealistic expectations about marriage.
- You do not want to be burdened with responsibility.
You should also work for the success of your marriage.
‘What do you say? I thought that I should only work hard in my job and that marriage was always a co-existence between me and my spouse.’ You are wrong. Just like your job, your marriage also needs hard work from you and your spouse. Even a mild lagging behind can turn your marriage into a disaster and you feel your marriage is a drab and meaningless togetherness. ‘Nothing to feel excited about!’ this is the conclusion most couples have about their marriage. You can make your marriage very sunny and bright by inculcating these very important characteristics into your marriage.
1. Tolerate her\him.
Difference of opinion can be common among you, but it should not come in between your happiness. You need not agree to everything your spouse says, but you can be tolerant to diversified opinions. When you are able to adjust to contrasting and conflicting outlooks and thoughts, your marriage becomes happy and successful.
2. Appreciation does not cost you a dime.
It is indeed sad that you do not feel like appreciating the good aspects of your spouse. Do you know that a word of appreciation can create magic in your married life? Appreciate your wife when she cooks with care for you. Does she look pretty? Show instant appreciation and watch her glow. There are many things your wife does to make your life at home comfortable and you should not let even a single factor miss your notice. When your wife feels that you value her contribution, it makes her feel overwhelmed with happiness.
You should appreciate your husband for his thoughtful actions. Did your husband buy a surprise gift for you? Hug him with love and show your appreciation. Did he help you in household chores? Smile at him with affection and make him feel loved. These are all small things you do, but they have great results.
3. Apologizing makes resentment disappear.
You sometimes burst out emotionally when you are stressed and the words you utter hurts your spouse. You should not feel egoistic to apologize as your spouse feels satisfied that your harsh words were uttered at the spark of anger and not said from the depth of your heart. You should never let things drift apart by callously thinking that your spouse should forget the bitter words uttered. Consoling words of apology takes off any bitterness your spouse might have felt.
4. Doing household chores together.
Husband can no longer consider household chores as a prerogative of his wife. In this modern world, both of you go to work and it is only natural that both share the household work together. It should not be done on compulsion, but done out of love. Sharing work load together brings you even closer to your spouse and when you do it with willingness, it becomes yet another secret formula for happiness in your marriage.
5. Outing is fun.
You have to go for work and you are stressed and tensed by your work load. Weekends are days for your happiness and togetherness. Plan for some outing and you can feel your stress disappearing when you spend your time together with your family.
6. Neat home unwinds you.
You would be surprised to find neat home as a prescription for happiness in marriage. Have you noticed how irritated you feel when your house is cluttered and strewn with dirty things? Undone dishes, papers thrown on the sofa, wet towels on bed, bathtub clogged with hair can make you feel edgy at home. When you return to a neat home after a day of hard work, you immediately feel relaxed.
7. Good relationships with in laws
Do you fight about your in-laws? If you do so, it is very unfortunate that you fight over someone who is in fact your extended family. You should respect your in-laws to make your spouse happy. Though your in-laws have no direct contribution to the success of your marriage, it is very true that your cordial relationship with them brings in comfort and happiness.
8. Listening helps.
Good listening capacities bring in loads of happiness in your married life. You are in a problem and want to share it with your spouse. How will you feel when your spouse only half listens to what you say and has his\her attention elsewhere? You feel uncared and unloved, don’t you? Suppose your spouse listens attentively to what you have to say and gives his\her full support to you, you feel happy that he\she is very understanding and sympathetic towards you. Yet another priceless formula for a good marriage!
9. Mutual respect
It is very true that when you respect each other, there is harmony in your life. You should not make snide remarks about your spouse before your relatives or friends. Comments about physical appearance may appear innocuous to you, but it inflicts severe hurt in the mind of your spouse. When you are protective towards him\her, it brings in tremendous happiness in your marriage.
10. Laugh together
When you are serious and morose at home, the atmosphere becomes stuffy and charged. There is an air of tension in your home which makes you feel tensed, stilted and strained. But when there is laughter, it is a totally different atmosphere at home. You unwind, relax and enjoy your time with your spouse.
‘Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections’- happiness quotes.
There is happiness within your reach and you need not look elsewhere for it. You make your married life miserable by having a magnifying glass with you to make every fault of your spouse look enormous. If you cease to see everything from your view point and empathize with your spouse, you will be amazed to find lot of things you can feel happy about in your marriage.
© 2012 mathira