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10 Tricky Texts to Send A Man to Find out if He's Married

Updated on October 15, 2017

Some men will be honest about their marital status depending on who is asking. Some will never ever willingly admit to being married and will keep it as a deep secret. Others are 'married but available'. Some are just looking for something casual.

When most women are looking for a relationship, they are hoping to end up in a monogamous setting. Very few women fancy the notion of dating married men for the obvious fact that he's technically unavailable. She cannot call, text and even be with him whenever she desires.

It's right to assume that the 'must-have' quality of an ideal mate for most women looking for long-term relationships is that the man must be single. A woman looking for a serious monogamous relationship is supposed to find the prospect of dating married men very unappealing.

Here are texts you can send a man to find put if he's married;

1. Are you Married?

This is a straight, and therefore not a very tricky, question. Most men looking for a casual date will not inform you that they are married. They do not want to be rejected. Most women find out a man is married when it's too late. For instance, when she's pregnant. That's when the man realizes that dates now come with a responsibility and that changes everything. That's when they disclose their marital status because they just wanted a casual relationship with no-strings-attached and they are hoping that the lady will loosen the grip now that she knows that he is married. Women should not just assume that a man is single. Just because you met a man on a dating site does not mean he is single. If you met a man in church or at the library etc, and he approached you like a single person would, do not just imagine he is single. Ask. Some men will give you a truthful answer. Some will still insist that they are not married. But you do not want to wait until the relationship is too serious to find out for you to start a conversation like this;

"Why didn't you tell me you are married?"

"You didn't ask."

Well you didn't ask, did you?

2. I don't mind dating married men, are you married?

Once you inform and ask him this he will be glad that he is an eligible partner within your expectations and so he will be honest about his marital status. He was probably worried that you will be put off by his marital status but now that he knows you don't mind his kind, he will be free to let you know that he is indeed married.

3. I don't know why married men turn me on

And he definitely wants to turn you on. If he is married he cannot let this chance pass. He will at se point indirectly or directly llet you know that he is married. It is inherent in human beings to yearn to be desired. There's no way a man will pass this special chance to let you know that he can turn you on too. It even bloats his ego to know that he is the type that can turn you on.

4. Why are you not married?

If he is married and not intending to hide that from you , he will disclose his marital status after you ask him this question. He probably intended to disclose his marital status to you but did not know how to do it. It gives him the chance to introduce his 'secret'.

5. Is it ever right for a married people to cheat?

If he supports cheating then he is probably married and hence he will just be naturally defending his intentions. Most single people are usually disgusted about married people cheating. Before people get married, they believe in faithfulness and loyalty but when they get married they start making excuses. In this context, your man understands why people cheat because he is about to start his infidelity with you.

6. Can I sleep at your place tomorrow?

He will not respond instantly to this. It suddenly dawns on him that you really believe that he's single. So he has to take time to respond because he must first creat a story to explain why you cannot visit his place. He is going to tell you any fake story just to keep you away from his place. Be careful about a man who doesn't want you to show up at his place. Men are always eager to invite women to their places. A married man will always suggest anywhere else except their places and the 'smart' ones will invite you to their friends' place and could pretend that they live there. If you find a clue that a man has invited you to a place that isn't his, then that's another sign that he's married. If he invites you to his place and you see some lady's clothes, unless you have met her in person to support his claims about her being his relative or his room-mate's girlfriend, do not wait for anyone to tell you he's married.

7.Let's get married

This will shock him. Chances are that he has never even considered getting divorced and you are suddenly suggesting marriage. He just wants to play. He is not interested in anything serious with you. No married man starts an affair hoping to turn it into a marriage someday. Some end up marrying the women they cheated with but it's an affair that progressed with time until they were sure they were a match. Married men know a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. That's why it's very difficult for a man to leave his wife for his mistress. But married men who want to cheat on their wives are initially just looking for a no-strings attachment. If he has been lying that he's single and you suddenly shock him with a "let's get married" text he will be put off. He now realizes that you don't want to just play. You want something serious and that is bad for his plans so he will start drifting from you. If he shows less interest towards you after this text or if he ignores this text he's probably married already.

8. I'm looking for something casual with a married man

This will excite him because he's just the type you are looking for. He's also looking for a casual relationship. There's no reason why he will not willingly admit to being married after this. But ask him only if you suspect that he is married because if he is not married this might make him wonder about your character as someone whom he wants to get involved with. If your intentions were just to find out if he is married you should disappear if his response will be affirmative.

9. Add me on Facebook

Most people post their lives on Facebook. Most married men will be reluctant to add women on their Facebook and social media in general because they have shared their lives with friends and family on Facebook. His relationship status could be showing that he is married to someone. He might have posted photos of himself and his nuclear family and there you are wanting to fix yourself in his friend-list. He will not allow that. He will tell you that he doesn't have a Facebook account

10. I'd like to meet your family next week

If he's usually a reliable person and he's seemingly honest yet suddenly making excuses about why you still cannot meet the people who matter to him the most then he is married. First, there's no way you will meet the entire family of a married man and not get a hint that he's married. Secondly, he wants to keep you as his secret and meeting his family will obviously mess that up.


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    • Mary Florence profile image

      Mary Florence 3 months ago

      Hi DashingScorpio! Thank you.I agree with most of what you have usual.

      Well, some of the questions depend on how long the couple has been together. Of course some questions will freak him out if asked prematurely. You definitely cannot be suggesting marriage when you have just met. Anyway, some women have unknowingly dated married men for years.Some end up finding out about the man's double life on his demise. I believe if she makes some effort to meet his family or at least snoop his Facebook profile she will find some answers. If he is reluctant about adding her on Facebook or her meeting his family or getting married she should start her investigations.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 months ago

      "Most men looking for a casual date will not inform you that they are married." - Very true!

      From (their point of view) they're just looking to have sex and not develop any kind of relationship. If the woman is only looking to get laid to then neither of the marital or relationship status should matter. No strings attached means you don't care what the other person does when they're not (with you). It's none of your business...etc

      This is especially true when meet where one person is from out of town on business, a vacation, weekend getaway with friends. Odds are they're not planning to see each other again. Therefore it's usually (Don't ask: Don't tell)

      On the other hand if you're hoping to develop a relationship than it's natural to have more of a "screening process". As you noted the first step is to ask right out.

      "Why didn't you tell me you are married?" "You didn't ask."

      - This is very common! People make assumptions!

      Questions 7, 9, and 10 would creep out most people whether they're married or not especially if they barely know you! Almost sounds like a "fatal attraction" if someone you don't really know wants to be added to your Facebook, insists upon meeting your family, or proposes marriage.

      Most people prefer to spend several weeks or months with someone before determining if they're going to be serious enough to introduce them to their "inner circle".

      In all honesty these days most men don't hide the fact that they're married. In fact according to statistics most affairs are started at (work). We also live in an era where there are hookup sites, "sugar baby sites", and "sugar daddy sites" for married people looking to have sex outside of their marriage. It's too much work for cheaters to hide their actions from their spouse and the person they're cheating with.

      Last but not least there will always be a scenario where someone may not be able determine if a person is married. For example some large companies have contractors who fly into various cities from other states or countries. They are set up in an apartment where they live alone until they move back home. The contract could run from several weeks to a year. In the mean time their wife and children are back in London, Amsterdam, or Hong Kong. You can call the guy any time you want, spend the night at his place, and so on without having any idea he's married.

      The same holds true for exchange college students working on graduate degree programs. When they fly home to visit "their family" they'll tell you it's their parents and siblings.