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Thanks Iowa, Now I Get It…CIVIL Marriage!

Updated on April 6, 2009


So Iowa knocked down the ban against homosexuals marrying finding it unconstitutional. Yea Iowa and yea homosexuals but what got me even more than the fact that Iowa did what that liberal Hollywood loving state couldn’t, was the Iowa justices using the term that even I had struggled to figure out for so long, “civil marriages” – thanks Iowa, now I get it…CIVIL Marriage! – Don’t Get Me Started!

Through writing my blog for the past however many years I’ve shared my struggles with many things. My weight, my addiction to Starbucks, my thought that the gays were going to throw me out of their membership at any moment for not being gay enough, what to call my guy of over twenty years and finally, why I didn’t quite get the whole “gay marriage” thing. I mean, I get why gays want to marry and why they should but I couldn’t understand why it kept being a gay issue. And I think that as we’re all suckers for great marketing, I couldn’t help but believe that the “gay” word was hurting us homosexuals in getting equal rights. But with a few strokes on a keyboard in Iowa, someone managed to give me that Oprah “Ah Ha” moment she talks of so often.

Suddenly I was renewed with an energy I haven’t felt for a very long time with the idea that our signs written with rainbows and the words, “Gay Marriage” were all wrong. I wrote the word, “civil” on my Word doc and right clicked to get the definition and do you know what I found? I found what the gay community has been looking for (I think) a way to include the gays and a way to get back to a separation of church and state

Civil (adjective)

Definition 1. Polite (this would mean being nice to the other parents at your kid’s soccer game, showing them that it pays to be polite to others. This also includes writing “thank you” notes…actual notes of paper that you will mail and assist in helping the postal workers to keep their jobs and not go “postal” on anyone.)

Definition 2. Relating to citizens (here’s the one we want gays, straights and anyone seeking a tax break by getting married. Like it or not, us gays are citizens and so if something is supposed to be civil, it’s suppose to include us.)

Definition 2. Not military (“connected with ordinary citizens” the keyword here is “ordinary” I don’t want to be “normal” in the sense that the Jesus loving gay haters want me to be but I do consider myself a garden variety or “ordinary” gay so this works for us too)

Definition 4. Not religious (“performed by a state official such as a registrar rather than a member of clergy.” Well I don’t know if we could have asked for a bigger present here with this definition. See, I don’t want a church (or in my case synagogue) wedding so can you see that we’re not talking a religious wedding here we’re talking a CIVIL one?? (Please see above definitions) Civil marriage and let the church figure out what they want to do about allowing or not allowing same sex religious marriages…has nothing to do with the law!

So you see, what we really want is what the Constitution all ready tells us we can have, a civil marriage. All this time I’ve been trying to come up with some cute name for it or a different name and I think the protesting gays with their “Gay Marriage” signs just got the first word wrong. Because marriage in the eyes of the law should be between two consenting adults (are you listening Mormons who raise women children like puppies in a puppy mill to be married off at fourteen to a forty year old pedophile all under the name of cotton dresses and pompadour hair that hasn’t been seen since the last MGM musical was produced) Whether you’re an atheist or a religious person, if you want tax breaks and other rights that our laws afford married people then you not only have to get married by your pastor or whomever but you have to register and get married with the state. Simple, right?

So let’s get the gay out of it for a moment and see what the lawmakers in Iowa saw, an injustice that needed to be corrected. No one’s storming the church asking Benny Hinn to start marrying same sex couples but the local registrar office better get ready to perform a lot of them in every state. And if they have a problem with it they should be cited for going against the laws of the United States of America, can join the ranks of the unemployed or they can all go live on a compound where they seem to put every food imaginable in a jar. (Yes, I watched the Oprah where she went to the Latter Day Saints compound) All the religious people seem to forget in their hatred how impolite it is, the hatred the how shall we say, “uncivil” it is? I think it’s time everyone started learning and showing some manners, let’s start with giving adults the right to marry regardless of sex, shall we? And for all you would be brides and grooms out there, be civil too, send thank you notes. Thanks Iowa, now I get it…CIVIL Marriage! – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      I am so happy!!! That is where I was born and I have plenty of famliy who still reside there. Is it boring? Maybe. We doesn't have neon signs and bright lights glaring , but damn it we Iowans respect the rights of others and I am proud to say , that the mission was accomplished. Many Iowans believed what should be all along and that is rights for all. I am hope that many realize Iowans are warm and wonderful people after all!!!! Congratulations and I do hope that you and yours will be taking your vows soon, as after are you and so many others are entitled to the same rights as we heterosexuals do, (((Big Hugs)))))..:)

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 8 years ago from Las Vegas

      Thanks MH, you're the best...or is that you're the most to say the least? Whatever it is...thanks!

    • MotherHubber profile image

      MotherHubber 8 years ago from Southern California

      Oh, and another thing. I posted a link to your hub under the forum discussion "Iowa Approves Gay Marriage." Commented about it there, as well. Hope you don't mind.

    • MotherHubber profile image

      MotherHubber 8 years ago from Southern California

      Bravo, Scott! After reading this, I gave it a thumbs-up, emailed it to a few friends, posted it on Stumbleupon, and placed a link to it on my Facebook page.


      BTW, I was in stitches over your Big Love-related comment. Cotton dresses? Pompadours? Clutch my pearls, you're funny!