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That Feeling

Updated on July 8, 2010

It washes over me. Warm, like hot blood. That feeling. The one ive been aching for. It taunted me, danced and teased, always so close, but just too far out of my reach. And now it posesses me. Ahhhhh.

Suddenly i have merged with a feeling of utter satisfaction. I dip my head back, and the hot rush washes over me.

I feel clean, yet, not so clean.

the fear has left me now.

This whole time my mind has been like a dark wood. My escape has been to search that wood inside my mind for answers. Clues. Reasons.

I close my eyes.

Im at the entrance of the wood. I brush past the initial foliage covered entrance, and step inside, and the light dissapears behind me as i step forwad. Like a dying star, illumination is deceased, and the darkness overtakes me.

I take it slow...careful...steady...

Wandering around trees and bushes, trying to find what im looking for.

but as i already knew, i have no idea what that is.

Whatever is missing.

Something is not there that should be.

Like a savage, full of frusteration, lust, and anger, I slash at branches, and scrape through leaves. I rip through the dirt at my feet, digging down deeper, and deeper.

The root.

My hand grasps the root, and my fingers, dirty and cut open grasp its sheer girth.

Suddenly, my back arches, and light bursts from my very eyes, illuminating the darkness.

I found it. The wave. The dark sick and twisted wave.

It overtakes me. I am whole again.

Feeling so desperate for so long,

Holding in every breath until release was not an option.

And i finally feel the blessing i needed to exhale.

It was inside of me all the while.

Hidden.

The memory comes back to me, hot and steady.

it was my decision.

To hide.

Nothing soothes the pain of anguish...like breaking your own rule.

Barefoot i stand, and raise my arms to the celest.

Once stifled and struggling, now empty and clean.

The space belongs to me.

the raven's eyes no longer hold judgement.

Just in time.

In just the right place.

I walk into the darkness,

looking back only once

the ruby red slippers hang from a dead branch gleaming in the darkness.

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    • profile image

      TwinkleBabe 6 years ago

      WOW this is brilliant sweetie loved it :) x

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      Twinklebabe- yea, i used to write like this all of the time. I had stacks of composition books full of stories and poetry just like this. I guess i found my shimmer again. Thanx for loving it.

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 6 years ago from home

      Pink,

      this was ..,strangely erotic... uh I gotta go take a cold shower now... keep on writing.... YES Good stuff... *tee-hee* seriously good stuff....just being silly-sorta

      TH

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      haha tom!enjoy your icy blast!

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 6 years ago from home

      Pink,Like the new picture way hot... gotta go take another cold shower now woohoo

      *tee hee*

      TH

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Tom, your too much! I didnt even really mean for it to be a hot picture, one second im all proud i lost weight, and the next im selling melons for bare bottom prices. lol

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 6 years ago from home

      Pink,

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Teehee melons at bare bottom prices prices I read that again even better the second time ---Whew! I was worried you were going tobe mad and call me a pervert - which is true. But is never nice to hear!

      TH

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      haha, tom. How could i call you a pervert, when im the one auditioning for penthouse up there...i mean seriously, i can't even take myself seriously up there, lol! Is that what us girls look like when were like "im up here!"

      That has to be accidentally the best picture ive ever taken of myself, haha. Im printing it out, and this will be the picture i show my grandaughters. "Yea, back in the day, gammy was a little hotcake!"

    • Papa Sez profile image

      Papa Sez 6 years ago from The Philippines to Canada

      Hey Pink, wish I could write like that...seem so deep yet effortless :)

      Papa Sez

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 6 years ago from home

      Pink,

      i am commenting on things... you have a great smile and very pretty eyes too but i am a guy and I "notice stuff".

      That is obvious and "out there" *tee hee*. BE PROUD OF YOUR SEXUALIITY status. you should not be embarrassed about being hot....I GOT ONE EYE BUT I am not blind...

      TH

      A COMPLIMENT IS NEVER MEANT TO BE DISRESPECTFUL... unless it is all snarky

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      Papa- i had to write it, It came over me like a rush, and there was no stopping it. I felt tlike if i didnt write, i would go insane. not my usual hub, but it felt good to get it out, and im proud if it!

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      Tom- thank you. i appreciate your comments always, and this one all the more! its nice to feel sexy, and not have tp be a whore about it! your sweet, and i think your wife is very lucky...because as you have told me, you have a serious desire for her. But im sure she knows how lucky she is!

    • Cagsil profile image

      Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

      Hey pink umbrella, that was pretty cool writing and made for great reading. I do appreciate your sharing. Thank you. :)

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      thanks

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 6 years ago from home

      PINK,

      YA MY WIFE IS GREAT, I've been trying to get some lately but she has been a little sick.... tonight is saturday and hats a good night... but with the kids home all day for summer it is hard (oh ya) to get a moment alone...TodaY IS MY niversary 7/10/98- 12 years so I am not sure what we have planned- maybe I was told but after my sons baseball game who knows *wink* * tee-hay* *giggle* maybe I'll get lucky-T

      H

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      Okay, so were all in agreement here? Everyone get as much bounce bounce as you can! Bounce your wife, bounce your ex...bounce a neighbor! Im declairing Today, july 10th, national "get your bounce on" day! because really people, all spiritual, and political perspectives aside... Don't ya just wanna get bounced? Like, just good and bounced!

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 6 years ago from home

      Ms. Chairwoman,

      I second the motion on the floor- (on the bed in the shower in the pool on the couch etc etc).

      *tee hee* bounce

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      Hahaha, then let it be called to order that today is national bounce day! lol.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ..everytime I come to your hubs I get 'that feeling' of a golden glow washing over me and purifying my soul!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ..and there's nothing sexier than a woman with an incredible sense of humor - I'm sure A.W. (wherever he is at the moment) would agree with me on that one!!

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      epigramman- haha, whenever im feeling down on myself, ill be sure and read all of the comments you have left me. Your right, there is nothing sexier in a man or in a woman than a sense of humor. If a man can make me laugh, then he definately stands a chance of standing under this pink umbrella!

    • profile image

      Johnny Love 6 years ago

      Holding in every breath until release was not an option.

      And i finally feel the blessing i needed to exhale.

      It was inside of me all the while.

      Hidden.

      this is my favorite part. it feels like my heart. where have we met? space? shadows?

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      we met in the shaddows of the spaces in between.

    • profile image

      Johnny Love 6 years ago

      You have a lovely heart of shadows. You express, i feel. Yousmile i cry. so much passion in this realm of your light that I am falling in the beautiful shadows in time.

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      you're quite the romantic Johnny Love. The name suits you.

    • profile image

      Johnny Love 6 years ago

      that is very deep and lovely. You are looking very deep into the image of my Rose blood heart.

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      am i?

    • profile image

      Johnny Love 6 years ago

      i felt you were. doesnt mean you are trying to, but in your words its like you know everything about what i am inside and out.

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      well i went through a few of yours, and the feeling is mutual. saying "am i?" sounds sarcastic, but not meant that way. i have the uncanny ability to come off as snarky, but im actually curious. I feel like you write like i do, from a place way down deep inside. Its a place im not sure most people have been to in themselves. You keep writing, and ill keep reading thats for sure. As others might tell you, im a little selfish here on HP. I do more writing and commenting within my own hubs than others, but ive been reading yours wher=never i come on to do my own thing. Its unusual for me. :) .

    • profile image

      Johnny Love 6 years ago

      i know the feeling. i have a really hhard time reading like your words because i get pulled into them emotionally. it is hard. not all of the time. but like today it was very hard to get my fingers to hush.

    • the pink umbrella profile image
      Author

      the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

      and thats the state im in presently. odd for me to be commenting on so many of one's hubs. But i fall into every one of yous. im so glad your still awake. :) .

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