ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The 5 C's to Finding the Ideal Spouse

Updated on May 29, 2012

Get Paid to Write

Share your opinion and expertise and make residual income at the same time by signing up for Hubpages.

These items are based off of my personal experience as well as advice that I have gotten from others who have had long and successful marriages. There may be other things to look for in a relationship that I will not touch in this article, but I can say these things are VERY important.

Chemistry

If you are not attracted to your potential spouse then there is a problem. I have dated some girls who were wonderful people and were even quite beautiful but the chemistry was not there. I was not feeling it. I am not talking about sex either. I am proud to say I was a virgin until my wedding night, and so was my wife. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, but I am glad my wife and I chose to wait until we were committed before we took that step. If you choose not to do that, that is you choice, but I advice against per-marital sex. What I can advise for is that you both must be attracted to each other or you will have a lot of trouble in your marriage.

Commitment to Christ

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have a very strong faith. My wife shares that. You may not be of my faith or even Christian, but my point here is that you should have a common faith. It is very hard to not have a common belief and value system. Commonality is key in this respect. There are spouses that have overcome this challenge, but it is better to avoid the problem by seeking that commonality.

Commitment to You

The same goes for you to your future spouse bub! If either of you are not committed then you have lost before you can start. Let me tell you a story to illustrate my point:

The farm animals on day were standing by the farmer's dinning room window and talking on fine morning.

The cow boasted, "Not only is my milk being drunk by the farmer, but he butters his bread from the butter made from my cream."

The chicken scoffed, "Hah! My ages which are my potential young are being used not only for him to eat strait, but they are also in the bread too. Top that!"

The pig looked at both of them and said, "I don't know about you two, but I am committed..."

The point of this story is to demonstrate that like the pig, we should be committed completely to the relationship we are having with our spouse and visa versa. If it is anything less then you have not found the right person.

Communication

You have to talk. You need to talk about everything. Not just the good stuff but also bad things. Not just favorite movies and music but children, money, jobs, politics and more. You don;t have to agree on all things, but lack of communication is one of the highest reasons for marriage failures.

Here are the 4 Danger Signs for Relationships:

1) Escalation: Building off of each other. Taking a small thing and doing something larger in response to it. Starting a war over small things.
2) Withdrawal: Refusal to talk. Clamming up. Running away. Talking to anyone other than your spouse about the problem.
3) Invalidation: Using phrases like, "That is stupid," or "You are stupid," or similar ideas or phrases.
4) Negative Interpretations: Assuming that if he is late that he is cheating. Or that if she goes over the minutes that she is doing it on purpose.

If your relationship shows most of these you need to re-assess. If your potential spouse is unwilling to change, then you don't have the right person.

Cash Savings Account

This sounds kind of weird along side the others, but this is VERY important! The number one reason in the World for marriage failure is over money problems. If your potential spouse can save money (you should be able to too by the way) then this is a good sign.

Some questions you should be able to you potential spouse:

What is your credit rating and score?
Do you have any out standing debts?
When we buy a house, will we own it jointly?
Do you pay child support?
What are your plans for retirement?

These are just some of the questions that you should ask. Some of them I didn't ask before I got married just because I was not aware of the need to ask the questions, but the good news is the answers were positive.

I am so grateful for I have a spouse who is on the same page as I am when it comes to money. That has made our marriage amazing!

Conclusion

I personally believe that is you match up with these 5 points that your relationship with your spouse will be much better. If there is something that does not match up and you are already married, the good news is that you can still try to improve your relationship with your spouse. I can guarantee that if both of you are willing to change the relationship will become better!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Cloverleaf profile image

      Cloverleaf 

      7 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

      I agree with your 5 C's - especially communication. It's so important to talk about things and clear up any negativity as soon as possible. The 5 C's are a great recipe for a good relationship.

      Thanks for sharing.

      Cloverleaf

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)