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The Art of Self-Expression: How to Express your Feelings to Someone

Updated on August 12, 2015

Expressing feelings has to do with mutual and emotional understanding between the two. We express our feelings to let people understand our emotional state, so we need to be also prepared to listen. Practical active listening usually paves a way for feelings of both parties to be expressed more vividly and unambiguously.

Sometimes we find it necessary to explain feelings to avoid doubt and overcome communication problem in our relationships. But something more important than just expressing how you feel is how the person will interpret your feelings. Because it won't make sense if nobody understands or the person that needs to understand keeps missing the point.

In this case you are to be instinctively aware of which method of expression serves the best, according to occasion, time, place and the person you're dealing with. It might be a less overwhelming issue that you still need to explain your emotions, it also deserves same strategy.

Pick a time to talk

Emotions, when they rule, have no respect for time. It doesn't know patience, the best attitude it needs to overcome reckless decisions. In order to express a feeling that hangs for long you need to choose a suitable moment, which comes in the field of time.

Considering when the person you want to express those feelings is ready and comfortable to listen (that's if you've chosen to express your feelings verbally), your success also depends on the time you're comfortable and equipped to express those emotions. Time scheduling can look simple but tricky, although you have all the chance to make decisions, avoid fear of setting a definite time and deadline.

Pick a place to talk.

Still on the basis of verbal expression, picking a venue, no matter how common it looks affects will affect the way you express your feelings. Whether it is love, like, hate, doubt or confusion, you do not want your partner or you yourself to be distracted.

For feelings to be expressed clearly and emotionally the character needs to feel safe and secured both physically and mentally. Your emotional and physical security can only be assured by you, by the choice of the place you choose to be emotional.

Write what you have to express down

Usually when we make a lot of arrangements and preparation in serving an emotional desire we tend to be too anxious as the time approaches and practically lose our sense of expression at the point we need it. This is very crucial to a point of self-assuredness and uncertainty.

To avoid failure or confusion when trying to explain your feelings to someone you need to have them on paper. It's your feelings and you might feel them all the time but remember, how you explain them matters more than how you feel this time. And in a clear frame of mind, we tend to be more vivid about our feelings when alone and writing. So take that opportunity to portrait your heart to that individual.

The ways to express your feeling through writing shall be explained precisely on the category part. Do not write too much on paper so you won't find yourself presenting a written work. Write the master fact. You might like to use few words that mean a lot or those that remind you of a moment to help you picture out your expression.

In expressing your feelings to someone you need to find different ways of explaining one thing. Note that you have to be clear and unambiguous to that person. Despite the explanation you also have to let your little words to sink into your partner's mind. Talk less but do the behavioural judging.

Types of feelings and how to express them

When you're in Love.

People usually call this feeling indescribable. You really cannot describe how it looks like but you can vividly explain how you feel about someone. Falling in love is a common but most interesting and thrilling feeling concerning relationship as a human. So how do you express your love, by words or action?

Verbal expression: The first genuine verbal expression of love is complement. Physical features are more preferable but you need to be sincere and real. Make sure that you're trying to make the other person happy and to feel good about them.

Maintaining eye contact, try to be romantic as possible in your compliment. Soft voice is very important. You also don't have to start this face to face. You may start expressing compliment on phone before you gather the boldness to do the same thing eyeball to eyeball.

Get caring. You know how everyone likes to be considered. As you're trying to express your feelings to someone you love, ask about their welfare passionately. Give them real attention when necessary and give them the impression that you're always there for them when they need someone.

Communication. This is the most important part of expressing a feeling of love to someone. You can easily say i love you when the moment feels comfortable. While communicating your love, always avoid awkward silence between conversations. So you might like to make it short and clear although spending much time with that person you love is also useful.

Just take note of the verbal rule: pick the right time and place, maintain eye contact, relax, avoid awkward conversation and be emotional. Sharing sentiments and expressing it verbally helps conversation to flow while the bond between two parties increases.

Non-verbal expression of love: Feelings that can be written can also be read right from the heart. You first move in trying to express your feelings to someone you love non-verbally is by writing a letter, text or email. Any one you choose can work as long as you can settle alone for a while and jot down your feelings.

Other non-verbal way to express your feelings involving love and affection include smile, eye contact, receptive body posture and physical touches. Smile is a way of welcoming and approval. Do not try that too much especially in every occasion to avoid looking silly.

Eye contact makes acquaintance faster and gives room to open-mindedness, which is very important to get to know each other fast. Physical touches are also important if it does not turn to flirt. Helping the one you love physically with some favours also tells a lot about your impression toward them. This lets you to express your feelings and do the love thing all at a time.

Expressing your feelings when you're angry/upset

Anger is an emotional response to upsetting physical and mental situations. Rage is a normal feeling that happens more often in unfavourable environment but usually hard to be expressed without tragic decisions and actions.

To prevent possible violence in times of expressing your feelings of anger, verbal expression is most recommended. Call the name of the person in question and say 'i feel angry' before explaining the incident and how it effects your feelings.

Shouting mostly work but not advisable to avoid stirring the anger of your partner. It should be like discussion, both of you giving chances to understand yourselves. Walking out of the scene when the emotions turn heavy making sure your action is noticed is a good way to express anger using a matured move.

Expressing your feelings of sadness

Sadness is best expressed non-verbally. You need the person to notice you first, then wear the humble sad face. Maintain eye contact without necessarily uttering a word. Sadness can be expressed immediately after the incident causing the feeling. Sadness mixed with rage require instant self-isolation as a 'show' to express your feelings clearly.

Expressing Happiness

Everybody craves happiness and when it's achieved, how do you express the feeling? Happiness cannot be masked whenever the source or the person that contributes to its manifestation is around.

First off, you wouldn't want to look overwhelmed and all silly. Saying “I'm happy” does a lot in expressing self. Being thankful and grateful shows how happy and satisfied you are. Singing positive songs and dancing positive dance are the non-verbal ways of expressing happiness.

Explaining your feelings when you're Pleased

When you're pleased you become happy but not as excited as real happiness. Express positivity especially to the party you're pleased with. It is easy to say 'am pleased' as a form of verbal expression.

"You're wonderful", "glad to have you around", "I love this", "I appreciate your effort". These are some verbal expressions of a pleased fellow. Hug also speaks a lot when done rightly with a deep expression of humility and love.

Expressing a feeling of Daring

Boldness and courage can be explained by actions and these actions are to be displayed as opportune. Wait for chances to show how courageous you are. But when chances don't want to show up, try to create them.

Courageous people express feelings by encouraging same thing in the people around them this requires communication and a professional approach to influence people.

Expressing your feelings when you're bored

Boring situations creates emptiness within us--lack of interest and animosity between our external and internal activities. Boredom can be expressed by posture, looking at the other side while having a boring conversation signals the feelings.

Changing the topic or using other physical struggle to get over boredom explains your state of mind. "Am getting tired" is an example of words needed to be uttered to explain your feelings of boredom.


Discomfort usually shows itself before you even start to make an effort. Physical discomfort can be expressed through posture, avoiding of eye contact and polite communication.

Emotional and mental discomfort is best expressed verbally. It has to take some proper discussion and heart talk. This feeling can be explained using different languages of emotions but using the main issue that makes you uncomfortable. As a part of feelings expression you can utter your wish; a situation that can conceal the present feeling as a suggestion.

Expressing a feeling of confusion

Communicate this feeling as soon as possible. Do not allow the 'right time' rule to keep you confused for so long. Confusions affect our mental and physical dispositions, as well as our decisions.

Almost everything about you can be affected when you're confused. Expressing your feelings when you're confused requires you to look uneasy and all desperate. Speak the situation to the party in question and allow yourself to pace around.


"Wow I’m so surprised", "you are really incredible" etc. are examples of verbal expressions that show surprise. Being surprised means being in an unexpected situation. It also means experiencing or witnessing unbelievable things happening.


Express your feelings to someone whenever you're hopeful, looking forward to experience things based on faith. You can express the feeling of hope by speaking with the tune of hope.

You are to sound strong and certain. People find it hard to explain feelings of hope because of lack of confidence and assertion. Living in a free world, you are free to hope for anything and explain it to any one without fear of rejection.

Explaining Anxious/nervous feeling

This type of expression requires awareness and self-knowledge about the cause of the feeling. When a conversation is making you nervous, blushing, avoiding eye contact and making some shifts/movements on your seat can express your feelings.

When you're anxious about a situation and you want to show it, being sensitive to the negative and positive forces surrounding you and describing them to your team makes a bigger expression. Absent-mindedness is the opposite attribute of an anxious fellow. So you play the opposite in expressing your feelings involving nerves.

Explaining your feelings when you're scared

Being scared gets you nervous, anxious, fearful and sweating. That sweat doesn’t always express or explains everything; you need to show more of the scared personality in you.

Seeking protection from a person or building makes it clear that you're scared. Screaming is also important to express your feelings involving fear. A scared person is always wide-eyed and so you have to be just that.

All this feelings expression thing seem to make you a lot dramatic and more like a film character but you really have to express your feelings to someone to allow him/her into your emotional world. Supressing and denying your emotions makes you more vulnerable of being hurt. Once you can't express your feelings through simple communication, you're allowing danger into both your personal and professional relationship.


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    • mayjdy profile imageAUTHOR

      Joshua D. Yahaya 

      3 years ago from Nigeria

      You are welcome.

    • mayjdy profile imageAUTHOR

      Joshua D. Yahaya 

      3 years ago from Nigeria

      Thanks for the suggestion, still looking for relevant pictures to add to my posts. I appreciate your opinion.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      Thanks for the valuable information.

    • MarieLB profile image


      3 years ago from YAMBA NSW

      Great information Joshua D.Yahaya, much to read and reflect on. I like having pictures to break up the text, but we each one have our own style, don't we?


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