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The Dating Bait Bucket: Techniques Too

Updated on August 23, 2016
H Andelsmen profile image

H. Andelsmen realized her girlfriends were asking advice, often, because she herself has been through so much, so she decided to share.

As with dating, fishing can be as easy or as complicated as you make it. You can fish with a simple line and hook, with fancy boats and equipment, or with only your hands. Just remember that any fisherman may use any technique of his choice, at any time, anywhere. Decisive factors include the fishing territory, type of fish, and purpose. The world of dating is no different. In fact, dating fishermen can be even more hinky than those in search of actual fish...

~The Bobber~

A bobber is a device attached to fishing line and allows the line to drop into the water but the device itself, stays afloat. The purpose being to serve as an indicator of a bite, which of course, occurs under water. So the fisherman casts out his line, and sits and waits. Waits for the bobber to bounce and be tugged underwater by a big ol' fat fish. When he sees this fantasticness occur, he will grab his rod and try to catch the fish by a quick jerking motion hoping to hook it and then reel it in. Kinda boring, no? You betcha. Needless to say this guy is not a very skilled fisherman, nor does he care to be. He casts his line and plops on his bucket on the bank and waits...and waits...and waits. On occasion he will reel in his line to often find that the bait has been nibbled away, unbeknownst to him.

Ever experienced one of these good ol' boys? Of course you have. They fish every kind of territory; however, the rivers and streams are not as appealing for them due to the flow and motion. Such activity and perpetual momentum defeats the purpose of a bobber. Stagnant water is more his style. But should he be fishing the ocean, he will just simply use a bigger bobber. In fact, the ocean may be an ideal locale since he can cast many, many lines and wait on each one. This one will have bobbers floating all over the place. Visit a dating site and you will see the allure of the ocean. Plenty o fish for sure.

Now should you be fresh out of a long relationship and new to the dating scene again, this one will be right up your alley. He isn't going to fill your inbox with random cute inspirational emails. He won't hit you with invitations to join various multiple chatting apps. Nor will he text that phone all day long. If it is constant attention you desire, you will not get it here. He will make a pass by or two to survey the territory. He will cast out a couple of times to see if he gets any nibbles in the area right away. Then he will get settled and wait. After all, he knows why he's fishing and he knows he has time to kill. He is not a commercial fisherman. He is not under deadline or fishing for his livelihood. He is not fishing for trophies. He is a recreational fisherman. He is fishing for whatever is in the water and water bites. He may change bait a time or two, but that is about as exciting as this one gets. Once he finds what works, he will not change again. He will order the same thing at his favorite restaurant, every time. He will have a comfort zone and a set routine for everything. Showers, bedtime, wake time, text the woman time, fishing, EVERYTHING.

**Note: those who use bobbers may not be the most skilled, most adept, or the most exciting. But best believe they do catch fish and those he catches he keeps. If he gets it close, he will use a net to bring it in if necessary.

~The Noodler~

Woooohooooo!! Ride em cowgirl. boy. whichever. This bad boy is a doozy. Ok, so, to noodle is to stick your arm in a hole and allow the fish to bite your arm and swim up with said fish on said arm. Got that? Sound fun? Sound exciting? Sound...risky? Damn straight. Check, check, and check. This will be a horrendous, bumpy ride, but it will be worth it. Should you get the chance, take it. You won't regret it. As you may guess, he is the ultimate bad boy. And of course, you want him immediately.

He is not a commercial fisherman. He is recreational and he is a sport fisherman. He does it for the hell of it. And he does it for the trophy fish. He dives into the murkiest of water to seek those fish who dig themselves deep in the mud walls hoping never to be found. Those who are so hard headed that they won't even enter the water unless absolutely necessary. There they sit all comfy in their hole in the wall, then BAM! He is the infiltrator. Alas, he does not fish in the ocean, at least not when he noodles. He seeks a very particular fish which lies in freshwater and mud. So rivers and lakes it is for this man.

This one will come.find.you. He may even have a partner. A "spotter". You see this is a dangerous sport indeed. He dives to whatever depth is necessary. The deeper and darker and more dangerous, the better. He will be physically flawless. He will be up for any challenge. He uses his bare hands to manhandle his prey. He doesn't need anything but what his maker gave him and he knows it. He noodles to prove it. He is not afraid. He knows full well all the dangers involved and he still chooses to noodle. Loosing a finger is nothing to him. Casualty of war. He is a skilled, supremely masterful, brute force to be reckoned with. If he gets his hands on you, don't fight it. Just play dead at first in case you want out, because the more you fight this one, the more he grapples.

In the dating world, this guy will go where no man has gone before. He will surprise you. He WILL sneak up on you. He is not going to wait for you to make a move. What he will do, is provide a flurry and furious attack to force you to react. Emails? Yes. Video Chats? Yes. Friend requests? All of them. Texts? Too many. Your head will hurt during this process so stock up on pain reliever. If it is attention you want, this is the man for you. Just know his attention is given for his entertainment, not out of necessity. This IS a sport to him. A game. He will play to win.

**Note: enticing and alluring as his wild ambience may be, it is you that must be fully aware of the hazards and injuries which can befall those who noodle. For as the glory hog that he is, there are always those casualties of war. Know when to say when.

© 2014 HanDelsmen

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